Aliyah's Log Book (mature content)

[Mikayla]

Author's note: After writing 42 million words about my prior characters, it should come as no surprise that I am writing about my current PC. That said, I am not entirely sure how I want to write about her. The log below is in first-person-diary-type format, which I used previously with Vellya a bit, but I am not entirely convinced this is the way to go. We shall see. Here are the accumulated entries from the first week or so of play.

***

Captain's Log of the Aliyah.

First Entry:
The ship was scuttled and the crew executed. What more is there to say? Years of my life, suddenly brought to a bloody end by the executioner’s sword. The Sultan’s Amlakkar did their work with joyful glee, the fucking bastards. So much for my “apprenticeship” – can’t learn much from a man who has no head.

I was spared because they thought me pregnant. I then escaped their dungeons with the help of he-who-shall-not-be-named, and if this is the law reading this, I am not talking about any god or goddess, just a jack-ass who helped me out to ease his own conscience.

So, I am sailor without a ship and not likely to find one in Calimport where I now have a ‘reputation.’ I am setting out on foot then, headed north, since going west or south requires a ship and going east requires a death-wish.

I have chosen the name “Aliyah” after the sabban legend of Aliyah the Knife; the one about the abused wife who cuts her husband’s manhood off and throws it in the sea, before setting sail over the horizon, never to be seen again. I don’t believe the story, not for a minute, but I love it just the same. So, Aliyah shall be the name I sail under - she is my ship now, and the ship is me, at least until I find a real ship again. Accordingly, until then, this log is my log. I know, I know, that really makes it a 'journal' or a 'diary.' Well, piss off. Its my writing and I can call it what I want.

Second Entry:
Amn is a pit. Never thought I would actually miss the sabban and drudach of Calimport. Well, I don’t, but its just a way to express my deep disappointment in this corrupt farce of a land. I met some Calishite men though, and now I am traveling with them. Odd, I know, but that is the way of things.

The first Calishite I met is His Highness, Lord of the Gutter, Prince of Cats (all of them!). He is a hin, and a very funny guy. I like him, I do. In a you’re-cute-please-don’t-steal-from-me kind of way. He is funny too, and very quiet when he wants to be as hin often are. As I am or at least have been a somewhat frequent resident of the gutter, he is my natural Lord. Ha.

The second Calishite calls himself Rain, and he is a genasi of somesort. Air I think, though his name suggests Water. Well, Air I think. He is one of those serious young men who is trying to act like a cold, hard, seasoned killer. The problem with young men like that is that one of two things happens to them; they either get killed, or they grow up to become cold, hard, seasoned killers. And the world has plenty of those – like we really need more. From pirates to Amlakkar to the black bandits of the desert, it seems the only path to manhood most men understand is the path of killing. It’s a wonder they rule the world. They’re so stupid. Not that I am any genius – if I was, I wouldn’t be running from my homeland towards the barbaric north. But really, cutting off your emotions and intentionally turning yourself into a heartless killing monster?

And people wonder why I have totally lost faith in people. Humanity, Elves, Halflings, Dwarves … all of them .. not fit to rule the world. The gods should wipe the slate clean and start over. Except for coffee and opium; those two things, they should keep. Oh, and the sea and ships and stars. Everything else should go.


Third Entry:
I am travelling north with Rain and the Prince. I left Calimport to get away from Calishite men and the first thing I do is partner up with two of them. How stupid! But, they’re familiar. And up here in the north, nothing else is. They’re more experienced land-travelers than I am, and they can be positively lethal when they want to be. Excellent travel companions, unless they turn on me. I am as surprised as anyone how much hearing my own language meant to me. Although I can speak the trade tongue pretty well, I don’t like its taste on my tongue unless I am cursing in it. I much prefer my mother tongue of Alzehdo. A much more beautiful language.

Fourth Entry:
Rain is the son of a famous bandit and the grand-son of the grand-high-poobah-guy of Almraiven. Or so he says. Who knows if it is true, but he seems to believe it. Talks a lot about his deadly, bandit father and his beautiful, crazy mother. I told him I thought he was fortunate to have parents at all, since I was an orphan. If only he knew.

The Prince doesn’t talk much about his past, which is fine with me as I don’t want to talk about mine. He is quick and funny and I like having him with us. He balances out Rain’s dour seriousness.

Interestingly, neither has made any move towards fucking me. I think they may be sodomites or eunuchs, which is fine with me, as those nut-less boys make great companions. Regardless, I am lot safer with them than without, at least while traveling on the road.

Fifth Entry:
It never stops raining up here. The Prince and Rain call Baldur’s Gate “mud city” and with good reason. The rain never stops and everything is covered in mud. I am cold and wet all the time. I miss Calimshan’s warm nights. And, I really miss the coffee. And the food. And the sunshine. Why did I leave again? Oh, right, the headsman’s sword. Yeah. Stupid Sultans. I hates them. If you ever read this Sultan, go fuck yourself. I can say that, because if you are reading this, I am a dead-girl already. So, yeah, go fuck yourself, you poo-head.

Sixth Entry:
We killed a hin today. The city guard said he was a crazed criminal, murderous and rabid and needed to be put down. The amlakkar said the same things about my crew just before they cut their heads off. And my crew had said the same thing about the men we captured from the galley. Men and their judgments. Its no wonder I like girls better than men – less judgment, less killing.

I went on the hunt with Rain and the Prince and another Calishite, a man named Sayid. Sayid is gutter trash like me, only he shows it more, what with his silver tooth and daggers and just general sense of I will stab-you-if-you-look-at-me-wrong attitude. Naturally, I feel pretty comfortable around him. Sayid and Rain are quick and deadly with blades. The Prince is good too, though he uses a bow as well. Rain throws axes, and he throws them hard. And all of us can move quick and quiet when we want to.

Anyway, I didn’t want to kill the hin – I’m never going to be any Sultan’s executioner. Fuck all the Sultans and lords and nobles and other assholes who make up laws and cut off heads. I would see them all burn, even if it took the rest of us with them. The local amlakkar, the guards here in mud-city, gave me gold coins for killing the hin. I love shine, I truly do, but I won’t take gold from the law for killing my brothers. So I gave the gold to Sayid, who readily took it, as I knew he would. If I tried to give it to Rain, he might have protested – desert bandit honor and integrity or something.

He keeps saying I have the ‘city sickness’ and I won’t deny the city makes me sick, but those desert bandit boys have been baking in the sun like flat-bread for waaaaayyyy too long. Of course, having seen Rain kill and heard how much he loves it, I would much rather have him on my side than not. Besides, I think somewhere underneath the armor and behind the sword is an actual person, with a soul. A wounded soul, to be sure, but a soul just the same. He’s doing his best to crush that personality and soul and make himself nothing but a souless-weapon, but for the moment, I think there is some humanity left in him. Of course, if he can’t kill that humanity, I probably will – I am no good for men.

The Prince and Sayid are different – I think the Prince has a soul, its just as sweet and rotten as the core of a year-old worm-eaten apple. Sayid, well, I knew plenty like him from the gutters of Calimport – no soul left there – the city took it long ago. Woe to those who cross Sayid.

Seventh Entry:
I found something I like to do – kill goblins! No, I mean it, really, I love killing the smelly little buggers. I didn’t think I would, and I don’t tell Rain how much I enjoy it, because that would prove him right and me wrong, but it was thrilling. We danced with death again and again, just kissing that bitch then tripping away on light feet. I know dancing with death is a fool’s game, because eventually you will miss a step and death will take her toll, but it was soooo much fun.

Rain and I and the Prince when out and snuck through the Cold Wood killing goblins as we went. There were so many of them but we were so quiet and so deadly and killed a couple dozen of them. It took hours to do it, finding them, tracking them, setting ambushes and picking them off, but we did it.

Rain is our most lethal killer, no surprise there. The Prince is our scout and he is really, really good at it. I just tag along and loose arrows at the ones who get past Rain’s throwing axe and sword. I’m not really of much help most of the time, though I did skewer one with my sword once. He was chasing the Prince and ran by me. I drew and slashed and cut him right across the throat and nearly took his head off. It was great fun. Blood sprayed all over me and I looked like one of my ship-brothers after boarding a prize. To the hells with the goblins! Kill them all! Well, after we eat and drink and sleep. It turns out killing is a lot of effort, and me and effort never really got along all that well. Me and lazy? We are like sisters! But me and effort? Fighting cousins at best.

I am still not hunting my brothers and sisters though. Goblins are fine. Like two-legged rats. But not my brothers and sisters. Well, unless I can take down all the nobles with us. Then, maybe.

Eighth Entry:
We are going to something called “The Greengrass Festival.” I have no interest in some barbaric northern ritual of the harvest or spring where pale naked people run about in the fog, but Rain and the Prince and Sayid are going and they are the only friends I have in the world right now. Well, friend is the wrong word. They are the only companions I have in the world, so I am going with them.

Northerners, by the way, are a savage, unwashed, stinky race of barbarians. The only bath-house in Baldur’s Gate is operated by a Calishite, of course. They don’t drink coffee or even know what it is. There is almost no opium up here. And no one takes naps in the afternoon like they do in civilized lands. And they play with magic like children, yet are scared of it too and find it exotic and rare. Savages. Just fucking savages.

On the other hand, a lot of them are beautiful, both male and female. Calimshan men are, for the most part, flabby, fat, weak and effeminate (though Calishite women are gorgeous). So, you know, the barbarian men up here are much nicer to look at and dream about. I have not been with any yet and might not be – I still seem to prefer my sisters to my brothers, which is what got me in trouble in the first place. Stupid customs.

My mastery of the trade-tongue is excellent, thanks to the years on the ship, but every time I talk to a northerner I end up angering them. They don’t take well to my helpful, constructive critiques, by which I mean my sarcastic wit. I am funny, I swear. But they don’t seem to think so. I suppose it won’t shock anyone to learn my mouth seems to get in the way of my sex-drive. Which is surprising – the brothel girls all told me that using my mouth should help, not hurt. Ha!

Oh well. This whole Greengrass thing would be a debacle but it means sailing again. I really miss the sea. I think that time on the ship, as horrifying as it was, was the only time I ever really felt free. Ships, stars, the sea – ingredients for the recipe of freedom.

This barbarian festival is in the Moonshaes, which I have seen before, but never actually set foot on. Its a Ffolk festival, which means it will involve a bunch of fair-skinned savages sacrificing their pigs to some leafy forest god or something. Like I said, savages. I hope its just not too boring and the savages don’t go cannibal on us. On the other hand, frankly, would it be so bad? I mean, at least in death you don’t have to worry about finding anything to eat anymore, or running from the law, or worrying about pissing off this noble or that lord. That’s something, right?

Oh well, at dawn, we are off to the Greengrass festival. Savages. Just a bunch of ... yeah.

[Mikayla]

Ninth Entry
The Greengrass festival is over and I am now on a ship headed back to the mainland. The days we spent in the Moonshaes are a total blur of drink, weed and opium. I am pretty sure it was awesome. If only I could remember it all. Well, I am going to write in my journal about the things I DO remember, as best I can, but not necessarily in order since I can't seem to put everything in order. Mostly what I remember are pies, ponies and hin, though not necessarily in that order.

The Games. The northerners play a lot of games. There was sword fighting where I saw huge northern barbarians pitted against tiny little hin. Calimport is sadistic and corrupt, but this was ridiculous. Another difference – women fighting! One of them, Rani something-or-other, was pretty good. There was a genasi swordsman who won the sword contest I think, and after vanquishing a woman (Rani I think, but I can’t recall), came and challenged me. Yeah, right. Me, a teen-age girl is going to get into a sword fight with some sword fight master guy. Sure. What an asshole, and he smelled like fish. Good with a sword though, I guess.

There was wrestling, and there were two women wrestling. I told them to get naked, but they didn’t. Too bad.

There was a mage duel … and despite what I thought … it was so dull I wandered off to another field and took a nap. That might be because I was seriously drunk at the time.

There was also a “grand-melee” which is their fancy name for a big brawl. It was disappointing – one side crushed the other, and yet, no one died. Really? You go to all the trouble to hold this huge gladiatorial match and … you don’t kill anyone? Well, I actually kind of respect that. I suppose that’s what you get in a land ruled by a Queen, not a King. More on that later.

Pies! So the best, best, bestest game of all was the pie-eating contest, which actually is their fancy name for a pie-puking contest. It was amazing fun. I met this fat guy, Robert Two-Bellies, who can’t talk but who was really nice. He should be called Silent Robert. Wait, what is the short name for Robert in the trade-tongue? Bob. Yeah, a silent guy named Bob ... seems familiar somehow, but I can't place it. Anyway, he used magic to make me coffee one night, and then the next night, he brought me a bag of actual coffee beans! I really thought he would be the one to win the pie-eating contest, but he didn’t. In fact, I think the swordswoman Rani won – weird right? And this one guy, Muir, was totally cheating. Awesome. I met this other guy, Xixx, who I called “Zits” just to see what he would do. You know what he did? He suggested we rig the pie-eating contest and then make a bunch of coin betting on it! Genius!

Too bad we were all too lazy and drunk to do it.

But back to pies; they ALL puked. Well almost all. And it was awesome and colorful and horrible and hysterical. I could not stop laughing. And then this psychotic pony (yes, pony) comes out of nowhere and attacks this hin scam-artist named Roddy Diggle or something like that. And in a flash, the hin is bleeding, the pony is rampaging and all the other little hin got their blades out and are yelling and swinging and fighting and … oh – by – the – gawds – it was the funniest thing I’ve ever seen in my life. Ever.

After the drunk who owned the pony finally dragged it away, this hin woman, Rhianna the Bitchy or something like that, apparently a local amlakkar, comes up to me all angry and righteous and tells me to stop laughing. Really? The great heroes of the north, just returned from slaying glowing bears, are over there puking pies out their pie-holes, and we got a psychotic rampaging pony trying to start a war with the hin and she wants me to stop laughing? I just laughed harder. She got all pissed and spit on me and threatened me and stuff. The angrier she got, the funnier she was. You know, she called me a “beggar” – I mean, really? Please – I am 19 years old and I have great breasts and nice legs. I don’t need to beg – I can just whore if I need to. Stupid hin. Still, it was soooo funny. I think she was serious about killing me though. I should probably think twice in the future, but thinking is not really my thing. I will probably never see the otherside of 30 anyway, so, what the hell.

The Wedding. There was some farcical faux wedding ceremony thing, and this woman, Kalix, had this beautiful northern wedding dress. Gorgeous. She looked like she could be southern too, but I don’t think she is. Her groom was cute. I asked them to get naked on the stage and perform for us, but they too refused. I thought these barbarians loved to get naked and dance around under their big green trees? So disappointing. What good are hot barbarians if they don’t get naked? I usually like girls more than men, but there was something about her groom that made me totally wet. I think it was the fact that he was HER groom. A little catty competition coming up in me? Not normally my thing, but hey, I was really drunk. There is a theme there …

At the wedding this southern woman, Aleel, sat down next to me and spoke to me in Alzhedo. And the first thing she says is that she is here looking for a bounty. And she is carrying a spear. And so I damn near pee’d myself. Turns out she wasn’t looking for me though. Looking for some guy. Too bad for him. This girl was serious.

The First Lunatic. I met so many people. And they were all so damn strange. There was a hin girl, follower of Sune, who took a liking to me – her name is Susana Leafguard. Said I had a “deep soul” – yeah, right. About as deep as street-puddle in summer. She is about the sweetest person I’ve ever met though. She wants to go to Calimport, and, in a rare fit of honesty and concern, I tried very hard to warn her off. Naïve, honest girls like her are grist for the mill down there. I don’t know why, but I liked her. Almost enough to restore my faith in people. Almost. Last time I saw her, she hugged me – I thought I was going to get shanked in the kidney. Turns out she just wanted to be nice. She told me I was her “big sister” now. If only she knew. Still, I like her. Can’t help it.

The streaking, money-making, arm-flexing hin mad-man. His name is Sweetwater Redfox. I’m not kidding. It really is. And he spent his time half-naked, or sometimes all the way naked. He did the most remarkable scam I’ve ever seen. During the bard-contest he got up on stage and just asked, yes, ASKED the crowd for money. He said he was going to give it to some poor impoverished elves or something stupid like that. And the crowd gave him money! LOTS of money. Even the Queen gave money. By the hells, even Rain gave money. I mean, I grant you, it was probably the best speech I’ve ever heard, truly, but … GIVE someone coin? Just for asking? This whole island is INSANE.

My new crush: There was this amazing beautiful dancer who won the bard competition. This girl, named Thais's or something like that, she gets up on stage and does this dance, and she is so totally disinterested in the dance, in the crowd, in this whole thing and yet, she is so damn beautiful and moves like the first-wife of the Sultan's harem that she wins the whole competition. I have such a crush on her, but you know, so what? I am sure she spends her time toying around with knights and nobles and kings and stuff. Oh well. A girl can dream.

Resurrection. Yes, I saw it. No, I didn’t hear about it from some guy who knew a guy whose cousin’s brother’s friend once saw a resurrection, I ACTUALLY SAW A GUY COME BACK FROM THE DEAD.

Scariest thing I ever saw. The fucking gods are real. Who knew? Well, priests I guess. But fuck them. Anyway, made me re-think a lot of things. I mean, I guess I always believed the gods were real of course, but you know, I figured they didn’t give a shit about us. I mean, I never saw any god do anything good for anyone in Calimport. It seemed pretty clear they don’t care about us. But here, in the isles, this guy, the wizard Samuel of Halruaa, was totally dead, mauled by some magical bear. I mean, MAULED. And then there was a druid, called Bu, I think and Rani was there and some angry gnome named Rerin, and they brought Samuel back to life. I SAW THIS. With my own eyes. Right there infront of me. I may forget everything else I saw at Greengrass, because of age or opium or hin pipe-weed, but I will never forget that.

I thought he might be a zombie or something, so I talked to this Samuel guy to see if he was really him, or just some undead thing or a demon-possessed-body or something. It was him, back from the dead. We had a great talk. We wandered out into this field one night, waiting for the grand-melee to start, and told me about Halruaa. They have flying ships. FLYING SHIPS! Can you imagine? Well, yeah, its not really that hard to imagine I suppose, but damn, they really exist. Crazy. I have to get one. Samuel was a nice guy, for being a rich wizard that can turn people into unnatural things and all that. He wasn’t really scary though; just smart and patient and kind and really, really smart.

The Prince. We repeatedly announced his Higness, the Prince, Lord of the Gutter and Prince of Cats. If he had not been so damned drunk all the time, or high, or getting laid by wanna-be princesses, we probably could have got him an audience with the Queen. Ha. He almost walked away with a couple new wives for his harem. I love Ali – he is so damn happy and positive and freaking devious.

The Second Lunatic. Some of the competitors and local nobles and amlakkar and such had gone out before the festival and killed some glowing magical bear. Who cares, right? Well, this crazy guy with a wolf-skin on his head and a staff in his hand comes marching into the festival throwing curses about. Now, I am no stone-cold-killer like all the young men around here want to be, but curses are serious and I damn near cut this guy’s throat myself when he started saying “you’re all cursed ..” There was no way I was going to let him finish that curse. He went off to go talk to Samuel, the newly alive-again-mage, and I crept over, drew my killing-knife, and I was actually ready to cut this guys throat if started that curse bullshit again. Me! I don’t know what got into me. I mean, I should have just beat-feet out of there. It must have been the ale. Or the wine. Or the Evershimmer. Is that wine? Maybe, who knows. Anyway, this lunatic is shouting that he wants to confront the killer of the bear, and so Rani walks up and says “I killed it” just like that, all plain and simple and bad like that. I damn near busted out laughing. The lunatic started yelling, but he didn’t throw no curse, and he didn’t make no move, so nothing happened but a lot of yelling.

The cute guy. There was this guy, Drake something-or-other, who was kind of buff and cute in that cold-killer-kind of way that is so popular around here. So I walk up to him and chat him up, and he is completely ignoring me. So, I says something about him doing the whole “silent tough guy” thing and he chuckles a bit and we got to talking. He owns lands and has servants and all that. I couldn’t decide if he was someone to have sex with, someone to rip-off, or someone to walk away from. In the end I decided any guy who owns lands and STILL volunteers to get into sword fights and melees and stuff is not the best choice to steal from, so I walked away.

Oh, there was so much more. More fun with Rain and Ali, hanging out with silent Robert, seeing the crazy elf woman named Jax-something-or-other, and all the other wild stuff.

My best moment. But you know what I really liked? On the second day of the festival, after one of the contests, I had been drinking since late morning and I laid down in a field near the competitions. Rain was there, I think, and some others. I think I might have been laying on a bench. It doesn’t matter. Anyway, I just lay there, feeling the breeze and the sun on my skin, watching the puffy white clouds sail slowly across the blue sky. I wasn’t worried about finding my next meal, or running from the amlakkar, or being hunted by this person or that, or having to do this or that. I was just there, enjoying the moment, a little high and, well at peace. I don’t seem to get too many days like that. It was awesome. I fell asleep in the warm sun and when I awoke, it was early evening. I could smell food on the grill, smoke in the air, and heard the sounds of everyone at the festival having a good time. And my half-filled bottle of Berdusk was sitting right where I left it. Beautiful. Just beautiful.

Later, when the festival was over, I bought some opium from a traveling merchant and Rain and Ali and I smoked it up in the grand-stands. I watched the stars for awhile, and then the three of us walked away from the field and headed across the island to the docks. It was a beautiful walk, with the breeze on my skin again and the stars above, but as warm and happy as the opium made me, I was still a little sad to see the Greengrass festival end. Who knew it would be so fun? I hope I live long enough to come again.

[Mikayla]

Ninth and a Half Entry:
Weather: Steady but light winds from the west, clear skies, brisk but warm enough in the sun.
Location: Silverymoon.

Alright, one last note on Greengrass. Rain said it would be fun, or at least, he said it would be worth going to. Rain also said that killing goblins would be fun. He was right about both things. For a dour, serious, guy who wants to be a killer he seems to know a lot about having fun, even if he rarely looks like he is actually having any fun. I take it as further evidence that there is some soul left in him. I am sure we’ll destroy that part of him soon enough; either he will kill enough people or the world will beat the soul out of him, or I will suck the soul out of him, but eventually, he’ll be as dead inside as Sayid. It won’t make him a better killer though – he’s already got that part down. I have seen him with his sword – blood flies.

Anyway, point of this is that Rain was right again. Which I am not going to admit, of course, to anyone by my log here, but alright, it seems he knows something after all. Can't say I am all that shocked that I was wrong about something - the day I am right about something will probably be the day the world comes to an end.

Important note AFTER Greengrass: since landing in Silverymoon, us four Calishites have stuck together and gone hunting for the powers that be. Here is the key thing I learned.

Never, ever, ever get between Rain and Sayid. Whatever gets between those two is going to die, and die bloody. The Prince and I, we are quick and quiet and we can get in and get out without anyone knowing, but when Rain and Sayid team up on something, those boys kill it. And these two are just getting started – Rain is only like 16 years old and Sayid is maybe 15. Just boys, but together, they slay.

Which, considering my view of the world, is just perfect. Kill ‘em all.

Well, they should kill ‘em all. I am too lazy.

[Mikayla]

Ninth and Half and Half entry.

Rain was right about a third thing. He told me at Greengrass that I cared too much about too many things. I didn’t know what he was talking about. I didn’t think I gave a rat’s ass about anything.

Then Rain told me I was angry. Angry about a lot of things. About parents, about the drooler who called me ‘sweet-tits’, about the fish-faced sword guy, about the bitchy hin girl, about the resurrection of the rich wizard, and the list went on and on.

He’s right. I didn’t realize it until then, and I don’t think I really accepted it until I read my last log entry. “Kill em all”? I wrote that? Really? I mean, I want to see all the nobles burn, but everyone else? I don’t think so. Or maybe I do. Well, not my brothers and sisters. But everyone else? I don’t know. But in the end, I think Rain is right about at least this one thing:

I am really f*cking angry.

[Mikayla]

Tenth Entry
Weather: sunny, still, brisk
Location: Rivermoot, in the Silver Marches

Yesterday, I was really angry. Today, I am really jealous.

A new girl joined our band. Her name is Nisha and she is very beautiful. She could be in the Sultan’s harem. She is from Calimshan also, and I think Ali is smitten with her. From the moment she set foot in Rivermoot I think I kind of disappeared from the men’s eyes. Such is life. Some people are born rich, some are born noble, some are born talented, and some are born beautiful. And then there are the ones like me, who are just born. Oh well. Ali flirts with her, while Rain seems to ignore her. I can’t figure Rain out. I can’t decide if he is truly aloof, or just a boy, or something else entirely.

I met a dwarf. Her name is Gwylla. I gave her a hard time, pretending to think she was a male. She took it well, never lost her temper. She gave me a bad time about my ragged shift and dirty armor, but hey, anyone wearing gleaming plate would do that. Gwylla turned out to be a pretty good fighter, standing up on the front line with Rain. Not too bright though – the first day she meets us, she agrees to hike up into hostile country with us. How does she know we won’t cut her throat and then sell that pretty armor of hers? We didn’t do that of course – hell, we didn’t even cheat her out of any coin or loot – we gave her a fair share and the extra coin. But we could have cut her throat. Oh well, it seems northerners are generally a trusting lot. Fools.

We went hunting goblins and orcs for the local war-chief of this little village called Rivermoot. Ali did our scouting while Rain and Gwylla did most of the killing. I am getting better though. I killed orcs with my new bow, and Gwylla even said I was good with it. I don’t know if she meant what she said, but she seemed to. And I think I am getting better.

I’m never going to be the princess or lover that stories are written about. I am too low to be the princess and Nisha is far more the beautiful lover than I ever will be. Rain is a straight up warrior and killer, and Ali, our Prince of Cats, is deviousness incarnate, with a healthy dose of animal ferocity and gutter-trash experience. Sayid is a souless thug. What is left for me? I’m not sure where I fit in. But I am learning that I am quiet and quick and good with my bow and knife. And I can kill. Maybe with that I will find a place. I don’t know.

[kiyoti]

I love these! Keep them coming so i can keep reading about myself

[Darkmystic]

"Dear diary, today I hated everyone who was differnt from me yet I simply dont stay home where everyone is so awesome."

[Mikayla]

Dark Mystic:

Dear diary, today I hated everyone who was differnt from me yet I simply dont stay home where everyone is so awesome

That is almost accurate. Nice.

M.

[Mikayla]

Eleventh Entry
Weather: Getting Stormy
Location: High Hold

I finally asked Rain if he was a eunuch, and he said no and eventually threatened to cut off Ali’s hands because Ali started asking if Rain had a penis. Great. So the next day I try to talk to Rain about not threatening other members of the crew, and he gets mad and makes threats and quits the crew. I am such a great diplomat.

I also asked Nisha if she had f*cked Rain yet, and she ended up saying she was interested in me. Its hard to believe her. I can’t tell if she was serious, or just playing a game to shut me up. Either way it worked, and either way I think I am screwed – I already have a crush on her so if she’s playing a game, I’m getting hurt, and if she’s not playing a game, then I am setting course for a broken heart because there is no way Nisha is going to stay with someone like me.

So, yeah, I’ve completely managed to slam my ship into every available rock and sandbar. We’re taking on water.

Ali managed to patch things up as far as the crew goes though. He’s not much of a leader most of the time, but he stepped up when Rain quit the crew and brought Rain back, so, hell, Ali is the best we’ve got.

Went hunting with Ali and Rain a day after all the drama. I brought down a big cat, a lion of some sort they said. I felt pretty proud of that, though I know if Ali and Rain had not been there the cat would have killed me. We survived because of the crew. I’m still proud though, because I’m still part of the crew. I even gave praise to Malar, which I think was the right thing to do at the time. Bloody hunting and all that.

I talked to Nisha after she said what she said. I tried to play it cool. I talked about the stars and constellations, one of the only things I actually know something about. I told her I could teach her about them. She said she’d like that and that we should make a date of it. My heart raced faster than when I was fighting the lion.

I still think she is probably just playing with me, but I can’t help it. She’s better at this game than me, so I am just stupidly sailing right into this storm. So be it. Hoist up the halyards and raise the sails, we're running with the wind.

Of course, it was kissing a girl that got me into all this mess. Got me onto that ship. Got me run out of Calimport. Girls. I should stick with boys, but … I don’t want to. I wish I did – I wouldn’t have lost everything. But enough about that – the past is where it belongs – in the past. It is the far horizon I'm putting my eye on now, for whatever its worth. I probably won't get there, but at least I tried.

[Mikayla]

Eleventh and half-entry.

Location: The restless sea of Sayid.
Weather: Unpredictable.

Sayid mentioned someone he talked to back west had asked about me. Or something like that. Sayid had been high at the time, no surprise there, so he could not remember the message or the man who gave it to him. He said he thought the name was something like Orzo or something similar to that. Said he was a farmer – beans and wheat and other farmer stuff. I don’t know any farmers, but I think I met someone named Horatio back when we were traveling through the Moonshaes and Baldur’s Gate for the Greengrass festival. Was he a farmer? Truth be told, I was high most of that time too, so I don’t remember much. Again, no surprise there.

I’d think it was a bounty hunter from Calimport looking for me, but that would be self-flattery – I am not important enough for a bounty, and that is a good thing. But I am curious why anyone would ask about me up here in the north. Kind of worries me. Kind of intrigues me too.

Also, while in Rivermoot, I smoked opium with Sayid. Sayid suggested he might rape me, and I suggested I might cut his balls off if he tried. We compared knives, and mine was bigger. Sayid backed down from the idea, but really, he is pretty damn good with a knife. The only way I’d get his balls is to take them while he was unaware. Fortunately, being human, he has to sleep. Unfortunately, if the boy does decide to force himself upon me, he probably wouldn’t let me live through the experience. Life’s little quandaries abound.

This is all irrelevant though. I mention Sayid because after smoking opium with Sayid I actually opened up to him. I told him about the ship, the crew, the galley, the Sultan’s men and the executions. I didn’t tell him about the girl, or the family, or the marriage or any of that. But still, I talk too much when I smoke opium. Have to watch that.

A few days later Sayid asked me some personal things. Sexual things. But there was no threat in what he said or did. Just interest and curiosity, and I can live with that. I kind of like Sayid actually. He’s way too young for me, but I like him. I just hope he doesn’t kill me.

On through the gales we go.

[Mikayla]

Twelfthe entry
Location: Silverymoon
Weather: Completely becalmed.

Silence is not as easy as it sounds. I told Ali I would shut up if it would keep the group together, and I have, but damn is it hard. Worse, its just plain boring. I have so much more fun when I talk. Granted, my big mouth will probably get me killed one of these days, so the less I talk the longer I will probably live, but we all have to die eventually, right?

On the other hand, silence is lethal. Rain, Ali and I snuck through some caves, killing gnolls and orcs. I am getting a lot better at this. I cannot cut people in half like Rain can, and I can’t call upon the powers that Ali has at his fingertips, but my arrows find their mark more often than not these days, and I have killed more goblins, orcs, kobolds and gnolls than I can count now.

Of course, since I did not go to school much, I can’t actually count all that well, so, you know, just saying.

We’re no heroes. But we are quiet, quick and getting more lethal by the day. There is coin in this too. I am richer than I have ever been in my entire life. Of course, the coin slips through our fingers like sand – opium, brandy, hin-pipeweed, rooms at inns, arrows, and potions. Killing costs coin, in every way imaginable it seems. Who says life is cheap? Its damned expensive to take, if you ask me. Still, I am not sure I’ve known a better time in my life. Well, not counting the time before the kiss. Before the kiss was alright. Afterwards, everything went to the hells. But, now? Things are alright. We kill, we collect, we drink and we play. Whats not to love?

Other than silence, of course.

[Mikayla]

Thirteenth Entry
Location: High Hold
Weather: Bloody

We took a job in High Hold last night, killing gnolls and orcs and such. We had the whole crew – Sayid, Nisha, Ali, Rain and myself. The fight was going well. I loosed what must be my most perfect shot yet. Killed a big old gnoll with one arrow right through its neck. Rain was hacking, Sayid was parrying and stabbing, Nisha loosing bolts and Ali doing Ali’s thing.

And then this orc runs up from the flank and damn near splits me in two with a greatsword. I don’t really remember what happened, other than I went from loosing arrows to being in a pitched fight with some huge bull orc. I barely got my knife out before I took a shot to the right side of my face. I went down hard, thought I was going to die. The bull orc would have finished me off, but the crew came to my rescue, especially Ali, who kept me from bleeding out.

I have a scar now though, running along my right cheek and jawline. I don’t know if it will go away, but I don’t really care either. I earned it, so I’m happy to keep it. Gotta learn from it though – gotta watch those flanks.

Never got a chance to really talk with Nisha. Don’t know if something will happen there. As for Rain, he and I have been hanging out at the Oak together. Silently. We drink, we stare at the bottles, I gaze at the stars, he avoids looking at me. It’s the way it goes. Though, right before we went to High Hold, he actually looked at me for a moment. I broke the sacred silence and asked if anything was on his mind. I meant it to be a nice question, but I am afraid it may have come out sarcastic. He frowned, and looked like he was going to say something, but then Ali walked up and told us about the job in High Hold. So, we left. Never did hear what was on Rain’s mind. Might never hear it. Its too bad – I just can’t tell what is going on with him.

My forecast: rough seas ahead, but we have all hands on deck, even if they ain’t talking to each other much.

[thinkpig]

Thanks for these, M! I am enjoying finally getting to play with you!

[Mikayla]

Author's note: My thanks to all who've played with us recently, Bellie (vergin_sacrifice), Biddle (Castano), Koriasha (Loulabelle), Redara (Darugith), Rain (Mr. Duncan), kiyoti (his Highness, Ali'Hussein, Prince of Cats), Sayid (thinkpig) and especially Aitana(Nisha) who has made my PC's emotional life of late a lot of fun. Playing with all these folks has reminded why I spent so much time over so many years playing in ALFA. Thanks everyone.

*************************************

Fourteenth Entry
Weather: Unpredictable
Location: Just off the shore of paradise.

So much to tell. Normally I don’t have much time or energy for the log these days, but tonight, I can’t sleep and I don’t want this night to end. I don’t want to leave the moment. So, here I am curled up against a stone wall outside the Golden Oak, writing by torch light.

Nisha. Where to begin. Well, she and I talked a few days ago. She was pretty honest. She said she liked falling in love, but didn’t like the work that follows. The relationship part. If I was smart, I’d have walked away, but I’m not that smart. Instead, all I could think about was the falling in love part. Foolish I know, but I want to feel that, even if it won’t last.

So, she was honest with me. The next night, I was honest with her. I told her that I didn’t want her being with anyone else while with me. I told her I just wanted her to tell me before she got with someone else. This is part pride, part preservation of our crew. Mostly pride I guess. It will hurt less that way, or so I imagine. Surprisingly, Nisha agreed – she even promised.

Somewhere along the line I told Nisha my whole story. Well, I think I left out the galley massacre, but I told her about the family, the kiss, the marriage, the running away, the tavern, Rakham (though not by name), and getting captured by the Syl-Pasha’s men. It was kind of weird; I haven’t told the whole story before, and yet, it just ran out of me and I couldn’t stop it. I don’t even know if she wanted to hear it, but apparently, I wanted to tell it. So I did.

Still, things between us progressed slowly, which, really, is a good thing. If all we are going to have is the falling-in-love part, we should definitely try to make it last.

Naturally, this is when I did something stupid. We were walking through High Hold one night. We’d been drinking, of course, and as I walked around the Hold I saw this beautiful half-elf woman sitting under a tent by where that dwarf woman hired us to kill the lizard folk. I wanted to talk to her, but I didn’t really know what to say, so I made a joke about her being fit for Nisha’s harem. Nisha had been joking about establishing her own harem some time ago – it seemed like a good way to break the ice at the time, but I was wrong. Stupid thing to say.

The half-elf woman’s name is Kori, and she is from Suzail. She is a well known singer and performer; since meeting Kori we’ve met others who have heard her play. Apparently she was a contender at the Greengrass festival the year before I went. Kori is beautiful, though I wouldn’t say Kori is as beautiful as Nisha - still, Kori has a certain confidence and mischievous air about her that make her stand out from the crowd. And I caught her checking me out, which caused me all kinds of feelings I didn’t know what to do with. So, I didn’t do anything. We ended up walking on.

Redara was with us; she is another Calishite expatriate that Rain found in Silverymoon. Redara is an arcane mystic of some sort – she wants to study at the wizard’s college in Silverymoon. She told her tale, how she came to be apprenticed, and what her wizard did to her. It was pretty horrific, and makes my story look like a nursery rhyme in comparison. Redara is quiet, meaning she doesn’t talk a lot, and she doesn’t really appear to know which end of a sword to hold, but she definitely has those mystic powers. And she can shoot a crossbow. I think if she takes those classes she wants to take, she’ll be a pretty valuable member of the crew – hells, I think one day, she’ll be able to turn us all into lizards or something. Hopefully she won’t.

Bellie was also with us; she’s a halfling from the Moonshaes. Nice girl, and not as crazy-nice as Susanna Leafguard. Bellie seems a lot more worldly and practical than Susanna. We took Bellie hunting with us as well, and she did just fine – she can hold her own, even though she’s a halfling. She said some really funny things last night – what was it? I said she was really nice or something and she said she was an ‘instant c*nt – just add whiskey.’ Rain laughed out loud. I tried to get her to drink my brandy since I didn’t have any whiskey, but Bellie declined. It was fun though – I like her.

Anyway, so, Ali and I take Redara and Nisha down to Rivermoot to do some hunting. When we return to Silverymoon, we find that Rain and Kori are at the Golden Oak. Kori is eyeing Nisha, and eyeing me a bit too. I flirt with Kori, which I shouldn’t have done. I just wasn’t thinking – seems to be the norm for me. Kori sings us a song and she is amazing. If we had Kori singing, and Nisha playing her flute and dancing, they’d be rich.

Soooooooo…..later. Nisha asked me to take a walk with her. It was dark out, night time. She led me down to the river’s edge. She had this whole thing prepared – apples, oranges, grapes, bread, a bottle of Evershimmer. And yet, I felt like I was in trouble. And I was. She said she had prepared all this so we could go stargazing, like we had talked about, but instead…

Instead … I don’t think I’ve ever heard a word that made my heart drop as much. Well, alright, to be fair, the words “you are sentenced to die by decapitation” pretty much caused my heart to drop all the way out when I heard them. Still, I almost started crying the moment she said “instead …”

Nisha talked to me about what I’d said to Kori, how I acted. She said I was offending myself, and she was right though I don’t think I can even write out an explanation of why. It made total sense at the time, and I believe her, but I can’t put it into my own words. I know I was really embarrassed about how I acted. In fact, I am still really embarrassed by it, but I’m putting it behind me.

Then Nisha said “this is work.” I thought I’d lost all chance; we’d passed up the falling-in-love part and gone straight to the “this is work” part.

So I said something about why I acted the way I did, and about being insecure. I feel guilt over the shame I brought to my family, and I am angry at how they treated me, and I can’t seem to reconcile those two different feelings. And being filled with anger and shame leads me to do and say things I probably should not do or say. No excuse here, just an explanation.

Nisha says to me that I should leave the past in the past. She said “the past is gone.”

And then she kissed me.

Really kissed me. And so I kissed her back and we kissed and petted on the bench right there by the river. She told me she wanted to enjoy the moment. She wanted to brush my hair, fall in love with me, and have sex with me. It sounded so beautiful.

Before she kissed me, she asked me how I felt about her seeing other people. I was afraid of trying to hold on to her, but I said how I felt just the same; I said I didn’t want her to be with anyone else. She asked me for the same promise, and I said I would be hers, happily. I think we kissed right after that.

After we kissed she said we’d dance together soon. I think I said something dumb like the kiss was really nice. She said that it was nothing compared to what we were going to do.

But it wasn’t nothing to me. That was the best kiss I ever had. It was the kiss I’ve been searching for since the day I tried to kiss Noor al-Fulan, the kiss that changed everything for the worse. I am not so naïve as to believe this kiss with Nisha will change everything for the better, but it was special. At least for me.

I’ve never been in love before, but I think I am falling there now. I know Nisha will leave eventually; its who she is. She was quite honest about it. But I’m going to take her advice; I am going to enjoy the moment.

The past is gone. The future is always over the horizon. It is now that matters. And right now, life is beautiful.

[Mikayla]

Current Crew Manifest

After writing about the affair with Nisha, I tried sketching a picture of her, then tried sketching my crew but that didn't work out - I've got no talent. So I will sketch them all out with words.

Ali’Hussein – The Hunter
Short, dark, typically Calishite but halfing.
Our Lord of the Gutter and Prince of Cats is the happy, but thoroughly rotten, heart of our crew. When Rain quit, it was Ali who brought him back. Ali is always smiling, always saying something positive, and pretty much always looking for a way to hunt and kill everyone and everything around him. As the Prince of Cats, Ali frequently has a big, black, very lethal panther with him. How he summons these cats, and where they come from, I’ve no real idea. I know it has to do with his god, but that is faith magic and I understand very little about faith. Things I know about Ali: he is from the same gutters I slept in, more or less. He likes to hunt – the more dangerous the game, the better. Cats really will do what he says. At least panthers will. On a ship, I think he’d be our bosun, keeping the crew in line and working.

Rain – The Warrior
Tall, with unreal hair and spooky eyes and immensely strong. Genasi, and Calishite, but refuses to wear a turban anymore.
Rain is our laconic, silent killer. He stands in the shadow of his bandit-lord father, but not for long. Rain will either kill his way out of that shadow, or die trying. For a big guy, he moves quick and quiet enough, and no armor will save you if he gets behind you. Those who get distracted by Sayid’s flashy knife work end up chopped in half by Rain’s giant sword. He is our group’s most straightforward and brutal killer. On a personal level, he is quiet. He drinks rum, a lot, and rarely speaks and when he does speak, it is usually just one word. I can’t tell where the rest of us stand with him – maybe that is his goal. I don’t know. I just know I like having him on our side. On a ship, he’d be the mate leading the boarding party.

Sayid – The Thug
Average height, typically Calishite in appearance (desert Calishite that is, meaning thin and tough, not city Calishite, meaning fat and not-tough). Has a gold-tooth now.
Sayid is a soul-less, knife wielding killer whose life will be a short, bloody blur of killing, drinking, sex, and treasure, completely devoid of shame or regrets. He uses a rapier and knife, like me, but uses both at the same time when he wants. He is not big and strong like Rain, but quick and agile and skilled. I’ve seen him fight – he is hard to hit. There is still a boy somewhere inside of Sayid, but that is just because he is young. Soon enough, he will mature – whip-cord thin and tough as leather, he is one of those desert people you don’t want to mess with if you can avoid it. Like Rain, but just a bit different. On a ship, he’d be the guy we’d use for duels, and probably the most feared man in the foc’sle.

Redara – The Wizard
Tall, slender, with typical Calishite coloring.
I don’t know Redara well enough to describe her personality. What I do know is that she has arcane training courtesy of a truly dark history. The combination is scary – one day, this girl will have real magic at her fingertips. That magic, together with the darkness inside of her? Lethal. I just hope I’m not the one on the receiving end. On a ship, once she masters her art, she would be our weapon – her spells would set ships alight, slay men, and command the winds. Mages are scary.

Nisha – The Mystery
Beautiful - the perfect example of how gorgeous Calishite women can be.
Nisha, our ‘desert flower’ as Ali calls her. She is as beautiful as a desert flower, but a desert flower cannot protect itself, cannot hunt and cannot seek out that which it wants. Nisha can. She is much more than flower. She has real talent with her music, which is more than the rest of this band of cutthroats can say. She can play, she can fight, she can manipulate and she seems utterly fearless. She says she likes ‘falling in love’ but not relationships – I believe her, but I also believe there is more to her than what we see. What does she really want? How does she plan to get it? I don’t know, but I know that she knows. Honestly, she is just more worldly than the rest of us, even me – and I’ve sailed across seas and oceans. But Nisha understands people, and understands how to use them. On a ship, she would be the instigator – the one who spurs the rest of the crew on to do what she wants – maybe a position outside the normal line, but one of respect, like the cook or quartermaster – and from there, she would manipulate.

Aliyah – The Me.
I’ve heard plenty of people describe themselves, and I always wonder why they do it – we all form our own opinions of others, self-serving self-descriptions notwithstanding. So, no self-description here - to others, I am how they perceive me to be.