Application Emails

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Rotku
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Application Emails

Post by Rotku »

Would someone be able to take a few moments to check these over, and offer comments if needed. I promised Zicada these weeks ago, so am a bit behind... The current emails sent to applicants are really just placeholders, and are in need of an update with info from the new website:
Thank you for applying to A Land Far Away! We received your application and it will be processed as soon as possible. Below is a copy of your application. When we processed your application you will be contacted by email. We also created an account for you. You can log onto our website and check out for the forums. Your username should be stated below and you password is: xxxxxxxx. If you have any questions, please post on our forums!

We generally take a few days to process your application. In the mean time, take a look over the ALFA Player Manual, and the ALFA Applicants Guide. It offers information about ALFA which may prove helpful.

Thanks for applying;
ALFA Admission Team

Username: xxxxxxx
Gamespy ID: xxxxxxxx
Email: xxxxxxxxxxxx@xxxxx.com

APPLICATION COPY
We are sad to inform you that your application has been rejected. If the reviewer left a comment on why you were rejected it can be found below.

It may pay to take a quick read through the Applicants Guide to ALFA, as it offers some advice to new players. Also, take a few moments to look at these tips on writting your application. We hope you choose to resubmit your application.

If a written application is not your thing, ALFA also has available an Open Application Server (for both Neverwinter Nights 1 and 2), where you can log on to get an ALFA experience and, with any luck, get accepted. Information on this can be found here : http://www.alandfaraway.org/node/1015

Please feel free to try again!
ALFA Admission Team
We are glad to inform you that you've been accepted into A Land Far Away! Please look around our forums for all the information you need to get started.

In particular, you may wish to visit our New Player's section of the website, where there is a range of information to help you ease into ALFA Life. Also, if you have not done so already, taking a look through our ALFA Player Manaul is well worth the time.

Information on downloading the Haks and other files necessary to ALFA, can be found on our download page.

Finally, pop into the forums at some stage and introduce yourself! We look forward to meeting you!

We hope you will feel welcome and have a great time!
ALFA Admissions Team
With links attached to the various pages mentioned.
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Roekemoes
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Re: Application Emails

Post by Roekemoes »

Looks nice to me.

When you got the OK from Zic and others, shoot me a PM with this topic or the actual emails and I'll place them in the mod.

If you don't already know, I created the applications mod, hence this post :)
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Rotku
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Re: Application Emails

Post by Rotku »

Yeah mate, well aware. Thanks for all your work :)
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Nalo Jade
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Re: Application Emails

Post by Nalo Jade »

Rotku wrote:
Thank you for applying to A Land Far Away! We received your application and it will be processed as soon as possible. Below is a copy of your application. When we processed your application you will be contacted by email. We also created a forum account for you. You can log onto our website and check out our forums. Your username should be stated below and you password is: xxxxxxxx. If you have any questions, please post <link>.

We generally take a few days to process your application. In the mean time, take a look over the ALFA Player Manual, and the ALFA Applicants Guide. It offers information about ALFA which may prove helpful.

Thanks for applying;
ALFA Admission Team

Username: xxxxxxx
Gamespy ID: xxxxxxxx
Email: xxxxxxxxxxxx@xxxxx.com

APPLICATION COPY
We are sad to inform you that your application has been rejected. If the reviewer left a comment on why you were rejected it can be found below.

<(Unfortunately our reviewers were unable to discern your play style compatibility with our communities playing style. We understand that as much as we are being choosy about who to accept into the community, you are being choosy about which community you wish to be a part of. We hope you can understand our desire to make a good player / community match.)>

It may pay to take a quick read through the Applicants Guide to ALFA, as it offers some advice to new players. Also, take a few moments to look at these tips on writting your application. We hope you choose to resubmit your application.

If a written application is not your thing, ALFA also has available an Open Application Server (for both Neverwinter Nights 1 and 2), where you can log on to get an ALFA experience and, with any luck, get accepted. Information on this can be found here : http://www.alandfaraway.org/node/1015

Please feel free to try again!

<(You are not the first to receive this response, many of our 200+ members were not accepted on their first written application. We hope if you wish to enjoy an excellent roleplaying environment, to see another application or scheduling an OAS session <here>. Sometimes it is easier to meet in a real time environment.)>

ALFA Admission Team
We are glad to inform you that you've been accepted into A Land Far Away! Please look around our forums for all the information you need to get started.

In particular, you may wish to visit our New Player's section of the website, where there is a range of information to help you ease into ALFA Life. Also, if you have not done so already, taking a look through our ALFA Player Manaul is well worth the time.

Information on downloading the Haks and other files necessary to ALFA, can be found on our download page.

Finally, pop into the forums at some stage and introduce yourself! We look forward to meeting you!

We hope you will feel welcome and have a great time!
ALFA Admissions Team
With links attached to the various pages mentioned.

Some grammar / spelling editing ... and I'd shy away from the phrases "rejected" and "with any luck" and "try again"

They all make it sound like the person "failed" ... lets take the ownership on this, they didn't "suck" instead we have really high expectations.

Try to make sure even if we "reject" someone we are doing it with lots of sugar and wanting them to join us in the OAS.

my .02
"The reasonable man adapts to fit the world. The unreasonable man adapts the world to suit him. Therefore all progress is achieved by the unreasonable." - unknown

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Rotku
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Re: Application Emails

Post by Rotku »

Cheers. Written english has never been my strong point.
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Rotku
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Re: Application Emails

Post by Rotku »

Heh, thinking of it, you sound a lot like the New ZEaland education ministry. They hate the world Fail, so kids can no longer fail. They just don't pass.
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Re: Application Emails

Post by Nalo Jade »

:D

Kill em with kindness.

I like the bulk of it, just thought you were looking for that kind of "proofreading"...

Can we add some "options" like what I posted in my platform thread?
"The reasonable man adapts to fit the world. The unreasonable man adapts the world to suit him. Therefore all progress is achieved by the unreasonable." - unknown

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Rotku
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Re: Application Emails

Post by Rotku »

That's just the kind of proof reading I was after. Thanks.
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