The Akbar and Renunzio Radio Show (18+)

[Mord]

This is brilliant!

[Twiggy]

Harlot:

[ewayneself]

Kissing, Pt 1

Staring:
Akbar and Christophen

Setting:
Dinner at an Alehouse

Akbar akh Asad: Christophen. I know you are having your troubles. And so I have not spoken of this. But I can be silent no longer.

Christophen Narensa: *looks up from eating*

Akbar akh Asad: I spoke to Teia.
Akbar akh Asad: Directly.
Akbar akh Asad: As you advised.

Christophen Narensa: *furrows his brow slightly*
Christophen Narensa: *nods*

Akbar akh Asad: And she feels about me....as I feel about her.

Christophen Narensa: *grins slowly*

Akbar akh Asad: *shrugs, looking at potatoes*
Akbar akh Asad: That is all there is to it. No grand thing. But... it is good that I know.

Christophen Narensa: Ell na, at beh a ged tern a avents.
Christophen Narensa: I beh appy ta ear et, lad.

Akbar akh Asad: Xavien gave his approval. And all is well. Only *shrug* I do not know how to....proceed.

Christophen Narensa: *grunts, nods slowly*

Akbar akh Asad: But I will let it be as it may.

Christophen Narensa: *continues eating*

Akbar akh Asad: Though I do suddenly wish I had kissed a woman before this. You know. A practice woman.

Christophen Narensa: *spits out the potatoes, laughs*
Christophen Narensa: *claps Akbar on the shoulder*
Christophen Narensa: Ell, ere beh tha practice Dummays aside the Rida outposts...

Akbar akh Asad: *frowns a little* It is not funny.

Christophen Narensa: *grins, nods*
Christophen Narensa: Sorra, brotha....
Christophen Narensa: *chuckles slightly to himself*

Akbar akh Asad: You may laugh! You /had/ your practice woman.

Christophen Narensa: *chuckles some more*
Christophen Narensa: *nods*
Christophen Narensa: *tries to clean up the spit out potato*

Akbar akh Asad: So...er....

Christophen Narensa: *looks at the table a moment*
Christophen Narensa: I"m na gonna beh yer parctice woman, sa nutha ask...
Christophen Narensa: *belts a small laugh*

Akbar akh Asad: I should have spent more time with that camel.

Christophen Narensa: *claps him on the shoulder, laughing*
Christophen Narensa: *laughs harder*
Christophen Narensa: I baleive yeh'd a brokan poor Ranunzia's heart....
Christophen Narensa: *wipes tears from his eyes, laughs some more*

Akbar akh Asad: Renunzio! He is our resident ladies man, yes?

Christophen Narensa: *sighs, still chuckling*
Christophen Narensa: Aye....

Akbar akh Asad: Perhaps he will, how do you say, "show me the gropes".

Christophen Narensa: *barks a laugh*
Christophen Narensa: Ropes, Akba, ropes....

Akbar akh Asad: *frowns* Yes. that is what I said, no?

Christophen Narensa: *burst into another round of laughter*
Christophen Narensa: Nay...yeh said gropes.....
Christophen Narensa: *tears stream down his face*

Akbar akh Asad: feh. *eats some potatoes*

[Aitana]

OMG! lmao!

That was GREAT!

Keep them all comming.



Aitana

[psycho_leo]

Kissing, Pt 1

Now you better make a part 2.

[Misty]

Kissing, Pt 2

Starring: Akbar and Renunzio

Setting: peaceful walk through the woods, preparing to invade a den of werewolves



Akbar akh Asad: *q* What is Narraroot?

Renunzio Buonofortuna: Narraroot is Cassil for girls.

Akbar akh Asad: agh! Renunzio, it will not come to that.

Renunzio Buonofortuna: Well it should.

Akbar akh Asad: I merely need to know. How to. You know. Kiss.

Renunzio Buonofortuna: Well...
Renunzio Buonofortuna: Right. Once you learn that you had best have Cassil on hand.
Renunzio Buonofortuna: It is a little hard to stop when you get started. Like a stubborn pony.
Renunzio Buonofortuna: I am confused..

Akbar akh Asad: YOU are confused?

Renunzio Buonofortuna: I thought the Werewolves were in the valley.
Renunzio Buonofortuna: This seems a long way from the valley.

Akbar akh Asad: I follow Christophen.

Renunzio Buonofortuna: But as far as kissing goes, what kind of kiss are you interested in?

Akbar akh Asad: A kiss with a girl would be best, I think.

Renunzio Buonofortuna: Yes but there are lots of different kinds of kisses.

Akbar akh Asad: What are the different kinds. You name them, then I pick.

Renunzio Buonofortuna: There is the kind where you lightly nibble her bottom lip.
Renunzio Buonofortuna: You can close your eyes or gaze into hers.

Akbar akh Asad: *frowns*

Renunzio Buonofortuna: there is the brushing of lips.
Renunzio Buonofortuna: The licking of lips.

Akbar akh Asad: This is complicated.

Renunzio Buonofortuna: The kind where you put your tongue in her mouth.
Renunzio Buonofortuna: Or she puts hers in yours.
Renunzio Buonofortuna: Or you go back and forth.

Akbar akh Asad: This is complicated. And what of noses? I have an ample nose. Will that be a problem?

Renunzio Buonofortuna: You have to tilt you head to the side.
Renunzio Buonofortuna: Sort of move in at an angle.
Renunzio Buonofortuna: Like eating falafel in a a folded pita,
Renunzio Buonofortuna: Come at it sideways.
Renunzio Buonofortuna: Then there is the pressing of lips.
Renunzio Buonofortuna: And your mouths may be open or closed.

Akbar akh Asad: Too many options. I need one type of kiss that I may perfect.
Akbar akh Asad: The basic kiss without ornamentation or pretense.

Renunzio Buonofortuna: So you start with one and then work on variations.

Akbar akh Asad: Yes.

Renunzio Buonofortuna: Passionate, or shy?

Akbar akh Asad: Both!

Renunzio Buonofortuna: Right....
Renunzio Buonofortuna: You want to brush your lips against hers, gently, especially focusing on the top lip.

Akbar akh Asad: *quietly* But how will this work? I need practice. I do not want my first kiss to be.... unpleasant.

Renunzio Buonofortuna: It won't be.

Akbar akh Asad: Top lip yes. Gently.

Renunzio Buonofortuna: Just keep your mouth slightly open, try not to drool, and be ready for an exploratory tongue.

Akbar akh Asad: Try not to drool. Right.
Akbar akh Asad: We stop talking now. I get more later. I must know about breath.

Renunzio Buonofortuna: Well the breathing will get heavy if you are doing it right.

[Iarwain]

Now, what did danielmn say about the two of you rping together again?

My ribs still hurt!

[Burt]

Renunzio Buonofortuna: Like eating falafel in a a folded pita,

lawl! Advice like this would have made high school so much less awkward.

[RangerDeWood]

LMAO! I really need to get in game more. Harlot: is the best so far though.

[ewayneself]

Pinking

Starring: Akbar, Renunzio, and Laurelin - A mischievous elf who has been pranking people by turning their clothes pink.

Akbar akh Asad: My eyes are not believing.

Renunzio Buonofortuna: Akbar.

Akbar akh Asad: Nunzio!

Renunzio Buonofortuna: *grins*
Renunzio Buonofortuna: Good to see you.
Renunzio Buonofortuna: How's tricks?

Akbar akh Asad: Tricks? You know about Laurelin's tricks?

Renunzio Buonofortuna: No.. but I can guess... has she been turning them?

Akbar akh Asad: Oh yes! She has turned many!

Renunzio Buonofortuna: Oh my.
Renunzio Buonofortuna: Did she good a good price, I hope?

Akbar akh Asad: Oh, I do not know the price.
Akbar akh Asad: Let's see, there was Moonshade.
Akbar akh Asad: And that stranger with the funny hat.

Renunzio Buonofortuna: Oh, a mysterious john type, eh?

Akbar akh Asad: Hrm? I do not know what his name was. It was very funny, though.
Akbar akh Asad: We all sat and watched.

Renunzio Buonofortuna: Did you buy tickets?

Akbar akh Asad: Hah! I had to go outside to keep from laughing!
Akbar akh Asad: But she turned me, as well.

Renunzio Buonofortuna: *grins*
Renunzio Buonofortuna: Really?
Renunzio Buonofortuna: I would never have guessed?

Akbar akh Asad: Of course, she did not turn me against my will. I volunteered.

Renunzio Buonofortuna: I can imagine so.... a lot of pink all in all then?

Akbar akh Asad: Oh yes. There was a great deal of pink. Everywhere!
Akbar akh Asad: I am still trying to get it out of my clothes.

Renunzio Buonofortuna: All Laurelin's?
Renunzio Buonofortuna: How did Teia take that?

Akbar akh Asad: Oh, she thought it was amusing. I showed it to her.

Renunzio Buonofortuna: You don't say?
Renunzio Buonofortuna: How about the smell?

Akbar akh Asad: Oh. Well. All of my clothes have a stench right now.
Akbar akh Asad: From the pool.

Renunzio Buonofortuna: Oh, of fish, then?
Renunzio Buonofortuna: Not surprising.

Laurelin: *perches lightly on the rock*

Akbar akh Asad: *grins*
Renunzio Buonofortuna: So... Laurelin... Akbar tells me you have been turning tricks.

Laurelin : I what?

Renunzio Buonofortuna: I didn't know you needed money.

Laurelin : uhm..

Akbar akh Asad: *little wave* Bah.

Renunzio Buonofortuna: So you won't let Laurelin turn any tricks for you today?

Akbar akh Asad: Oh, she could turn one trick.
Akbar akh Asad: I would very much like to see her turn a trick.

Laurelin : *squeals* WHAT?!?

Renunzio Buonofortuna: Snootypine?
Renunzio Buonofortuna: Have you done him yet?
Renunzio Buonofortuna: I heard that Leechfarm finally got a little pink on his leeches.

Laurelin : *points a finger at Nunzio* You are asking for it.

Akbar akh Asad: No, I would like to see her turn a trick on the one who stole from me.

Renunzio Buonofortuna: *shrugs innocently*
Renunzio Buonofortuna: What?
Renunzio Buonofortuna: Do you deny it?

Laurelin : *clears throat* I do not turn tricks

Akbar akh Asad: You do!
Akbar akh Asad: With the spray from your box!

Renunzio Buonofortuna: Akbar said you had an audience and everything.
Renunzio Buonofortuna: Ooh....

Laurelin : no no no NO NO NO!
Laurelin : *goes red in the face and stomps*

Akbar akh Asad: I have seen it!

Laurelin : NO!

Renunzio Buonofortuna: Poor Lavender Bloththom missed that?
Renunzio Buonofortuna: He will be absolutely sundered over it.

Laurelin : Pulling a trick is not the same as TURNING one!

Akbar akh Asad: ....
Akbar akh Asad: oh.

Renunzio Buonofortuna: But people were turned.

Akbar akh Asad: *looks at Renunzio*

Renunzio Buonofortuna: With tricks.

Laurelin : *glares at nunzio*


.

[Twiggy]

Elf musk!

[RangerDeWood]

lmao

[darrenhfx]

Funny stuff.

[Mikayla]

These conversations are hysterical - maybe the funniest in-game conversations I've ever read. The camel milking story and "Harlot:" are teh win!

[Aitana]

Cute and funny as alway... love reading these.