Ya'bergh Silverwind: Storyteller - A date with thugs

[Inaubryn]

While in Yartar, I happened up on a place that I would come to learn was known as Shadowskulk Alley. Now, my first inclination is not to go into any alleys and especially not one called Shadowskulk. Nevertheless, this seemed like a logical route to travel considering my destination was the next street over. However, logic does not always dictate the best choice, I assure you. As I entered this alley, ever cautious, a man referring to himself as a thug, accosted me. "Your money or your life!" he demanded. Well, my life certainly was not worth the pittance that I carried in my ever shrinking coin purse, so I responded with every intent of giving him my few remaining coins. "I will die first!" Almost simultaneously the words, "What was that?" escaped both our mouths. Now, once again I assure you I by no means intended to say such a thing. But, I suppose that within that split moment I had decided that I would give the thug my coin, he would take it, count it out, and then attempt to kill me out of sheer disappointment.

Well, the thug took my bold statement to heart and swung his sword at my at my head. Now, that I took offense to. Stab me in the gut. Cut off an arm. But, my head? The barbarian. I deftly drew the blade at my side and began to dodge, parry, thrust and block in what was now a dance of death. As we found ourselves locked in mortal combat, a second "thug" approached. "Your money or your life!" he demanded. I paused for a mere moment, stared at the thug I was already engaged with and said plainly, "I think he is talking to you." I did come to find out shortly thereafter, he was talking to me. So, I turned to him and asked with as much cordiality as I could manage, "Can you not see that I am currently preoccupied? If you will just wait patiently, I will be with you in a moment." Needless to say, he did not take to well to my question and suggestion. And, before I could get my second suggestion out, that the two of them should just split the little gold I had, the second man accused me of stalling. Me? Stalling? I never stall. What did he mean by stalling? Seriously, who is stalling? I cannot believe that someone would say that I was stalling. But, once again within the span of only a few moments I found myself offended. But, again, I also found myself fighting two thugs.

The alley was quite cramped and it was two on one. So I did the only thing that I could do at that precise moment. And no, I did not run. I tactically retreated. There is a difference, you know? I moved to a wider area with one of the thugs attacking before I could get around to face him. Attack someone from their backside? Where's the common courtesy, I ask? As I was saying, with a lunging maneuver I managed to mortally wound my first assailant and he went down.

Now I only needed concern myself with the large, hooded, grisly-faced, toothless, ogre hair-laden fellow before me. I moved backwards, fending off his blows and found myself pressed against a door. That is when we both decided it would be an excellent idea to actually fight inside the doorway. Do not ask. So, in even more cramped quarters we fought, thrusting, lunging, well more like half or one quarter of a lunge, parrying, dodging, neither of us striking a telling blow. But, all the while I kept a smile upon my face. For I knew something that he did not know. I...am not right handed. I tossed the sword into my left hand and proceeded to do even worse. That is when I remembered that I am indeed right-handed. So I switched back and continued the battle. But, then I remembered...I was never that adept with a sword in the first place. So I drew my crossbow and shot him to death.

But, this individual who had been so uncompromising in life, continued to do so in death. He fell just so. He had managed to somehow come to be stuck in the building. I was unable to take my just rewards from his malodorous corpse. No matter. I stepped back into the alley, ever wary. I looked about and spotted the corpse of some poor and unfotunate soul, who I assume fell victim to these downright rude and impatient thugs. He did have some interesting items about his person, however. But, as it is I can most certainly assure that I will no longer step foot in any alley or any alley ending in the word alley or any place beginning with the word shadow, especially an alley beginning with the word shadow. But, I suppose it was much better than spending three days in a tavern trying to console a depressed beholder. But, that is another story for another time.

[Damart]

Brilliant!




**any player who can paraphrase the most excellent "The Princess Bride" is obviously a well read individual**

[fade]

I remember you telling that story to me. . that was glorious ;p

[Misty]

Beautiful!!!!



Of course, now you've done it. The masses want more. Lots more.

[Mord]

all the while I kept a smile upon my face. For I knew something that he did not know. I...am not right handed. I tossed the sword into my left hand and proceeded to do even worse. That is when I remembered that I am indeed right-handed. So I switched back and continued the battle. But, then I remembered...I was never that adept with a sword in the first place. So I drew my crossbow and shot him to death.

I remember laughing my arse off when he told Jelkins that story, splendid stuff.

[Rotku]

Nice work