ALFA Pics IV: Revenge of the Photochop

[ThinkTank]

From hells heart I stab at thee! the 'photochop-an-alfan' thread shall once more be ressurected and shamble forth to scare the unwary.

[Vaelahr]

[Lusipher]

this is what ALFA forums are turning into?

[Joos]

this is what ALFA forums are turning into?

Why do you care anyway?

[Lusipher]

Because I do. Why do you care that i care?

[Joos]

Because I do. Why do you care that i care?

I care because I think you shouldn't. Anyway, reiteration of a classic:

SOCIALISM: You have 2 cows, and you give one to your neighbour.
COMMUNISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.
FASCISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.
NAZISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.
BUREAUCRATISM: You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the
other and then throws the milk away.
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on
the income.
SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take
harmonica lessons.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the
other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to
analyse why the cow has dropped dead.
ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell three of them to your
publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your
brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an
associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax
exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred
via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the
majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your
listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an
option on one more. Sell one cow to buy a new president of the United
States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the
release. The public buys your bull.
FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike, organize a riot,
and block the roads because you want three cows.
JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are
one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'cowkimon' and market it
worldwide.
GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live
for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.
RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have
five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them
again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another
bottle of vodka.
SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You
charge the owners for storing them.
CHINESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity, and
arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
BRITISH CORPORATION: You have two cows. Both are mad.
IRAQI CORPORATION: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them
that you have none. No one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you
and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least now you are
part of a Democracy.
WELSH CORPORATION: You have two cows. The one on the left looks very
attractive.
AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. Business seems pretty good. You
close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

[ThinkTank]

less bitching, Moar Photoshap

[/img]

[Joos]

Good point!

[Lusipher]

thats just wrong, Joos

[Rotku]

SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons

This is the place for me. Sounds much more exciting than cows.

[Joos]

thats just wrong, Joos

But its fun! Fun fun fun for the whoooole family!

SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons

This is the place for me. Sounds much more exciting than cows.

Sadly, I can't find any pictures on the net that contains both giraffes and people doing unspeakable things to giraffes that meet alfa's forum guidelines. Otherwise, this post was to good to pass up!

[hollyfant]

SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons

This is the place for me. Sounds much more exciting than cows.

Sadly, I can't find any pictures on the net that contains both giraffes and people doing unspeakable things to giraffes that meet alfa's forum guidelines. Otherwise, this post was to good to pass up!

Here you go.

[Mord]

Good point!

I love you, you big swedish meatball!

[Mord]

From hells heart I stab at thee! the 'photochop-an-alfan' thread shall once more be ressurected and shamble forth to scare the unwary.

[HEEGZ]