April is always a time for more frivolous and silly stories in my writing group. This year we decided upon a "multi theme" for the story theme. Here's how it will go: find something relevant to the time of year (April/Spring (or Autumn, damn international forum)/Easter/etc) and post it here. After a week, the challenge becomes write a coherent story using all of the topics suggested.
Fun!
I'll also edit this post once all the topics are listed for convenience.
And I'll start with my English predicability... April 23rd is St George's Day so I'm suggesting dragons
So far your story must include: ->Dragons
->Running 10miles in peculiar/inappropriate shoes
->Zombies
->Death by public torture with resurrection optional (a nice connection to zombies, perhaps? )
->A free cap
->A story about dragons
-> A nuclear silo
Last edited by loulabelle on Wed May 09, 2012 4:17 am, edited 6 times in total.
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Formerly: Stuff; Elrien Weiss (alfa1); Kaxanar Finellen (alfa2)
Currently: Guardian of the Books; Koriasha "Kori" Brenen
Toc [Talk] Ey doc save some thread fer that mouth a hers *winks with a grin*
loulabelle wrote:So far your story must include: ->Dragons
->Running 10miles in peculiar/inappropriate shoes
->Zombies
->Death by public torture with resurrection optional (a nice connection to zombies, perhaps? )
There once was a dragon who ran 10 miles into the center of town in peculiar/inappropriate shoes, there the zombies cought him and tortured him to death, while considering to resurrect him later. (cuase they was smart shamblers an' that. *nods*)
The End.
what do I win?
<paazin>: internet relationships are really a great idea
One more day to contribute, then we'll start writing. This is a frivolous challenge, hate to break it but no-one's going to win the Hugo or Nebula here. Have fun with it!
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Formerly: Stuff; Elrien Weiss (alfa1); Kaxanar Finellen (alfa2)
Currently: Guardian of the Books; Koriasha "Kori" Brenen
Toc [Talk] Ey doc save some thread fer that mouth a hers *winks with a grin*
Let's get this party started. The dumbest story I have ever written, you can thank Dan for the utterly nonsensical ending!
Love, Dragons and a Nuke
“So, as I was telling you, things were pretty sweet you know, bro… she liked the books I brought her”
Flissaxgarthus nodded his white head. “Then what she do?” He asked, pausing to rip the head from one of the unfortunate orcs the two young dragons had hunted and killed.
Jolaphorous scowled, “Dude, I was going to give her that one”
Fliss shrugged, “Kill another, man. Besides a carcass? Really? You’re going to win over her pristine heart with a carcass?”
Jola ripped the orc’s arm from its shoulder socket with a wet pop and wolfed it down in a couple of bites. “She likes a bad boy, they all do, them young metallics” He bared his many teeth in something vaguely akin to a smile. “Oh yeah, they don’t get serious about being all pure and kind until they’re older, they love a dabble on the wild side”
“And she’s dating you? You’re about as wild as scalerot”
“Shut the fuck up Fliss, you want to hear my story or not?” Jola growled. The other white dragonling tossed his head back then ripped the orc’s leg off.
“Fine, go on”
“Alright then, well I was taking her down to the tar pits…” He scowled when Fliss snorted amusement. “She wanted to go! She wanted to see something dangerous” He rolled his eyes.
“Dude, you’re so whipped” Fliss laughed a deep reverberating rumble of a chuckle.
“Yeah well… wait until you hear what came out the godsdammed pits” Jola hissed.
When Fliss made no reply other than to turn his beautiful sparkling white eyes upon him, he continued. “Zombies man, lots of them”
“Wait, what? That makes no sense” Fliss frowned.
“Totes man, I never said it would make sense” Jola said easily. He lapped up a pool of blood seeping from a not quite dead yet orc and then tore the creature’s leg off at the knee, prompting a shrill scream of pain. “So anyway, I’m like ‘Oh holy Aerosclughpalar’s brilliant balls!’ and she’s like, ‘maybe we can talk to them?’”
Fliss laughed hard, “Oh those brass bitches, they don’t have a clue do they?”
“Right… well maybe we’re bigger than them undead humans, but dude, I told her, it only takes few dozen to weigh you down and then they just keep tearing away until your innards are spilling out and you’re dying in as much embarrassment as you are physically” Jola chewed the orc’s leg once or twice crunching the bones with a philosophical expression on his young scaly face. “So then we start to run…”
“Seriously? Are you a dragon? Do you have wings?” Fliss fixed him with a despondent look.
“Ugh… she wouldn’t fly cause she’d just gotten her wings done, she wanted to look nice for me” Jola said, hanging his head gently.
“Fuck me sideways with Tiamat’s pickaxe” Fliss cussed. “You need to find yourself a nice devious little blue like what I’m seeing”
“Yeah…” Jola ceded. “So we’re running, but she’s really slow… I look down and Marduk’s farts… she wearing these completely inappropriate shoes”
“Er… we’re dragons, aren’t all shoes inappropriate for us?” Fliss asked, confused.
“Exactly”
Fliss elected to not press the issue and bent down to snack on the dying orc, ending his weak gasps of air abruptly.
“How far did you run before her, er… shoes gave out?”
“Eh, ten miles, give or take” Jola replied. “Anyway we ended up in some shithole of a human town”
“Ooh… then what happened?” Fliss asked his interest rousing. “Some death, destruction? Blow down the holy mother of dragons smackdown on those hairy meatbags?”
“Yeah that would have been fun… but I had her with me and her shiny brass attitude” Jola snorted and a quick shot of ice breath bathed one of the dead orcs. Fliss stepped on it and the orc shattered, prompting grins from both dragonlings. Jolaphorous sighed and licked up bits of thawing orcmeat.
“Humans were having their own entertainment anyway, got some poor dude tied up to four horses and were pulling his limbs in opposite directions."
“Ouch” Flissaxgarthus said and crossed his hind legs, grimacing.
“Yeah… at first I think they were just torturing him, they’re quite creative when they want to be, crazy. So he’s shouting out answers to their questions and you can juuuuuusst hear his sockets start to go”
“Oh I love that bit” Fliss grinned, bits of stringy pink orc hanging from his teeth. Jola smiled in kind.
“She wasn’t so keen on it, but whatevs. Then they smack the horses and the dude is ripped apart. Oh.. It smelled so good.”
“And they never saw you?” Fliss asked skeptically.
“Er… Didn’t say that” Jola said mischievously. “When we were spotted they all fled in fear. She was saddened by the human’s death, but I told her he’s probably resting in peace…” He grinned “pieces… get it?”
Fliss rolled his eyes and daintily plucked eyeballs from a nearly dead orc with his raspy tongue. “You get a good snack out of it?”
“Well I got a free cap…” Jola admitted guiltily. “I couldn’t exactly chow down on him on front of her could I? We were on a date! So I stole his hat.”
Flissaxgarthus let out a rumbling sigh of draconic exasperation. “You’ve got to get over this bloody female, Jola before your scales turn silver… or worse copper” He made a retching sound to illustrate the point and regurgitated a partially digested orc hand.
Jola shuddered. “Yeah…”
“So what happened next?” Fliss asked, after he re-ate the orc hand.
“Well, we…” Jolaphorous began then stopped, narrowing his eyes and lifting his magnificent head. “I heard something…”
Fliss looked around and sniffed the air. “I smell something”
Both dragonlings looked up, to see a large silver shape streaking towards them through the sky. At first they feared a rival silver coming in to fight them, but quickly realised it moved far too fast. There was a figure clinging to it as it flew towards the confused dragonlings.
“Is that… an orc?” Flissaxgarthus stuttered, wide eyed. “What is it on?”
As the projectile flew closer to the dragonlings, the orc chieftain began to laugh, “Keep eating Goldtooth tribe will you snowlizards? Goldtooth say no more orc chow! Goldtooth think it time to get fissonal!”
Fliss and Jola looked at each other in the split second before the nuclear warhead slammed into them and wiped out the white dragon enclave in the mountains entirely.
“How the fuck did orcs build a nuclear silo?”
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Formerly: Stuff; Elrien Weiss (alfa1); Kaxanar Finellen (alfa2)
Currently: Guardian of the Books; Koriasha "Kori" Brenen
Toc [Talk] Ey doc save some thread fer that mouth a hers *winks with a grin*
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