I once took a trip to the shores of Lurien
Where there was the strangest thing I’d ever seen.
I expected ‘em short and expected ‘em stout
But the fella I met – I mean, egad! Did he ever stand out!
He didn’t have brains and he didn’t have looks
He wasn’t too clever, but he had two hooks!
Two curved iron hands and a leg made of wood –
That drunken dwarf pirate named Ringar Peepgood.
*speaking* known as Cap’n R.P. and with a name like Peepgood, can ye really blame him?
His fame as a leader was known o’er the lands.
He lifted the men though he didn’t have hands.
All spirits abounded when he was about.
I’ll tell you how now and leave no room for doubt . . .
Though born in the mountains, he was one with the trees.
Though built for dry land, he thrived on the seas.
He choked out his common yet spoke fluent Lanthanese
Hurray for our Cap’n R.P.!
When coping with beasts brimming with teeth and claws
His mates could afford to be daring because
Without explanation he knew all the beasts’ flaws.
Hurray for our Cap’n R.P.!
Now gatherin’ booty was his special flair
For he could return to a once cleared-out lair
And all of the treasure would again be there.
Hurray for our Cap’n R.P.!
A nose for adventure an ear for goings-on -
If two or more explorers gathered at dawn
His presence would be a conclusion foregone.
Hurray for our Cap’n R.P.!
His stamina oozed and his strength was unmatched
His vision was perfect, yet both eyes were patched!
He’d died fifteen times yet before me he stood -
That drunken dwarf pirate named Ringar Peepgood!
So let’s shout hurray!
Let’s all shout hurray!
For that drunken dwarf pirate named Rin . . . gar . . . Peep . . . gooooooooooooood!
Laddy
