The Vampire Album

Member created stories, poems, & other creative work.
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Ladellon
Dire Badger
Posts: 155
Joined: Tue Jan 13, 2004 1:24 am
Location: just north of Leadfeather

The Vampire Album

Post by Ladellon »

A collection of songs, some inspired by assailing a vampire's den, some just generally undead and scary in nature.

The Abbott of Gabby Abbey

For eons the abbey on top of the hill
Looked over the town down below.
T’was said that within lived a terrible beast,
Though what it was no one could know.

For every so often a stout-hearted lad
With vigor and courage to burn
Would charge up the hill, but the town understood:
Who went up would never return.

But then came a time, on a crisp autumn eve,
When arrived from a land far away,
A mage of appreciable skill and renown,
Intending their fear to allay.

“I’ve taken down dragons and giants in scores.
What challenges have I not won?
I’ll make a foray up the hill on the morn,
And return before the setting sun.”

True then to his promise he strode up the hill
Yet paused, quite perplexed, at the gate.
The entrance was open, no beasts barred the way.
He thought, ‘Is it luck or ill fate?’

He started as, once he attained the great hall,
A voice of melancholic tone
Called, “welcome, my friend, to my humble abode.
I’ve been far too long left alone.”

The mage turned to witness descending the stairs,
His host in quite simple attire,
But fangs and pale skin confirmed what he had guessed -
This was a repellant vampire!

But ere he could reach for the scrolls in his pouch,
And cast a defense from its glares,
The inviting host said, with his arms open wide,
“I’ve had so few guests o’er the years!”

“It’s obvious you are a man that is learned -
A master of topics galore.
Come, dine with me, sire, for I wish to debate
Not fight, for that’s what I abhor.”

Enticed by the chance to engage in a duel
And match wit for wit over wine,
The mage was sucked into an unwitting scheme
Which started out very benign.

That day they discussed local politics and
Diseases and all their vaccines.
Then spent the night covering semantic verbs
And what “break the bank” really means.

The host lectured on through the following day
About each illicit affair
Had by every king through the past thousand years
While the mage fell asleep in his chair.

Tactics for romance and combat were broached,
And seven months passed in a blink.
The dialogue ended when the host looked up
And noticed the horrible stink.

While lifting his glass, he gave compliment,
“You’ve been a fine listener, mage,”
Then sighed, “I suppose it will be another ten years
Ere I find the next to engage.”
Last edited by Ladellon on Mon Sep 07, 2020 11:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Final PC: Regor the Valorious, the ONLY theatrically-inclined half-orc androgyne wandering ALFA, Artistic Director for Cormanthor Stage Productions, one-time stand up pirate and self-educated barrister of the bar.

Former PC: Begor Nightstrummer, Executive Stage Writer and Assistant Director of Planned Gifts for the Roving Entertainment Group of Ruith

Current PC: Sheshe Little Eels
Ladellon
Dire Badger
Posts: 155
Joined: Tue Jan 13, 2004 1:24 am
Location: just north of Leadfeather

Re: The Vampire Album

Post by Ladellon »

Unfortunate Miss Baylee (adapted from the Kingston Trio)

A captain bold from Waterdeep,
Who dwelt within his quarters,
Seduced a maid who hanged herself
One morning in her garters.
His wicked conscience smited him.
He lost his stomach daily.
He took to drinking turpentine
And thought upon Miss Baylee.
Oh, Miss Baylee! Unfortunate Miss Baylee!

One night while sleeping on his ship
The captain heard a banging,
He left his bed and went on deck
And saw Miss Baylee hanging.
His heart near stopped at midnight
And his candle burned quite palely
And from the mast a ghost stepped down.
Behold it was Miss Baylee.
Oh, Miss Baylee! Unfortunate Miss Baylee

“Away, Miss Baylee,” he implored
“You don’t affright me really.”
“Dear Captain Stith,” the ghost replied.
“You’ve used me ungenteely.
The coroner was hard on me
Because I acted fraily.
The priest he would not bury me
Though I’m a dead Miss Baylee.”
Oh, Miss Baylee! Unfortunate Miss Baylee!

You won’t believe me when I say
The captain got soft hearted.
He gave the ghost a bag of coins
With which she then departed.
“‘Twill bribe the seton for my grave
And so I leave thee gaily.
Oh bless you, wicked Captain Stith,
For rescuing Miss Baylee.”
Final PC: Regor the Valorious, the ONLY theatrically-inclined half-orc androgyne wandering ALFA, Artistic Director for Cormanthor Stage Productions, one-time stand up pirate and self-educated barrister of the bar.

Former PC: Begor Nightstrummer, Executive Stage Writer and Assistant Director of Planned Gifts for the Roving Entertainment Group of Ruith

Current PC: Sheshe Little Eels
Ladellon
Dire Badger
Posts: 155
Joined: Tue Jan 13, 2004 1:24 am
Location: just north of Leadfeather

Re: The Vampire Album

Post by Ladellon »

Vaporous Stalking Elite

Rumors abound – there’s a terrible threat.
Vampires in the woods, making all quite upset.
They’re blood-sucking dead who can float on the air.
Who will protect us? Will anyone dare?

Oh yes, there is one, he’s ideal for the job.
Not put off by odors or gossamer globs.
He’ll question the watchmen and brazenly ask,
“Have you seen a yellowish cloud rolling past?”

Hurray for our vaporous stalking elite!
Victory’s assured as he knows not defeat.
He’s proven his worth so I’m bound to repeat . . .
Hurray for our vaporous stalking elite!

Into the Cloak Wood or into the swamps,
Searching in places that nobody tromps.
He’ll find the villain, that elusive cloud,
And threaten to stake it until it is cowed.

So, if you should meet in your wandering ways,
A mist or a fog or an unsightly haze,
Take comfort in knowing all soon will be clear
For there is a hero that resides right here.

Hurray for our vaporous stalking elite!
Victory’s assured as he knows not defeat.
He’s proven his worth so I’m bound to repeat . . .
Hurray for our vaporous stalking elite!
Final PC: Regor the Valorious, the ONLY theatrically-inclined half-orc androgyne wandering ALFA, Artistic Director for Cormanthor Stage Productions, one-time stand up pirate and self-educated barrister of the bar.

Former PC: Begor Nightstrummer, Executive Stage Writer and Assistant Director of Planned Gifts for the Roving Entertainment Group of Ruith

Current PC: Sheshe Little Eels
Ladellon
Dire Badger
Posts: 155
Joined: Tue Jan 13, 2004 1:24 am
Location: just north of Leadfeather

Re: The Vampire Album

Post by Ladellon »

Weres Wear Me Out

It used to be kobolds and giants and trolls
That warranted increased militia patrols.
But now there’s a force that, in contrast, is worse.
A terrible problem . . . an infectious curse.

The sun drops below the horizon and then
Out come upright canines who used to be men.
They bite and they howl and cause general dismay.
We fight them all night and come morn we all say . . .

Weres wear me out!
Oh, weres wear me out!
Trolls are a pain, no doubt, but
Weres wear me out!

Ferocious indeed are these beasts of the night.
They terrorize farmers and set guards to flight.
But worst is their baffling knack to repel
Our arrows, our swords, and our halberds as well.

Combating these creatures takes patience and grit.
You have to keep at it, you simply can’t quit.
I know they will fall and we’ll end this distress,
But ‘til that day comes we’ll all sigh and confess . . .

Weres wear me out!
Oh, weres wear me out!
Trolls are a pain, no doubt, but
Weres wear me out!
Last edited by Ladellon on Mon Sep 07, 2020 11:39 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Final PC: Regor the Valorious, the ONLY theatrically-inclined half-orc androgyne wandering ALFA, Artistic Director for Cormanthor Stage Productions, one-time stand up pirate and self-educated barrister of the bar.

Former PC: Begor Nightstrummer, Executive Stage Writer and Assistant Director of Planned Gifts for the Roving Entertainment Group of Ruith

Current PC: Sheshe Little Eels
Ladellon
Dire Badger
Posts: 155
Joined: Tue Jan 13, 2004 1:24 am
Location: just north of Leadfeather

Re: The Vampire Album

Post by Ladellon »

A Ghostly Tale

What I feel like singing mostly
Are songs that are dark and ghostly.
So, gather round while there’s no sun
I think I’d like to sing you one.

This tale begins as these tales do,
Except for just a very few,
With a good couple’s country life
And ending with a murdered wife.

She nagged her man all day and night
And gave him quite a nasty fright.
All this before he rose from bed.
All this before he made her dead.

Now gone, her spirit’s onward living
And firm lectures she’s still giving.
Now husband heeds her more than before
Cause she can pass through walls and floor.

He can’t escape her as he’d thought.
His evil action was for naught.
So now he ponders on his wife
And wishes she were back to life.

At least then she would have to sleep
And he could then through the doors creep,
Hark back to when he’d drink some ail
And he, not her, would moan and wail.
Final PC: Regor the Valorious, the ONLY theatrically-inclined half-orc androgyne wandering ALFA, Artistic Director for Cormanthor Stage Productions, one-time stand up pirate and self-educated barrister of the bar.

Former PC: Begor Nightstrummer, Executive Stage Writer and Assistant Director of Planned Gifts for the Roving Entertainment Group of Ruith

Current PC: Sheshe Little Eels
Ladellon
Dire Badger
Posts: 155
Joined: Tue Jan 13, 2004 1:24 am
Location: just north of Leadfeather

Re: The Vampire Album

Post by Ladellon »

Sibyl’s Ride

Sit back and relax for I’ll sing you the tale
Of Lathandar’s cleric who went to assail
A horde of undead with her mates - mostly good -
In a crypt located deep in the Cloak Wood

While the vampires slain were all quite appalling,
The cleric’s conversion was far more enthralling.
Though she had set out with a bright disposition,
She’d taken a bite - it compelled a physician.

She lurched from the crypt and declared to the rest,
“We must burn them all so to finish our quest!”
Then, stumbling and dragging the corpses about
She asked, “While it’s dark why not have a cookout?”

The others in unison rolled all their eyes,
Shook heads in dismay and looked up to the skies
As wyverns descended to claim a light snack.
“To the Gate we must go, we’ve got to get back!”

The cleric, though, now was hopeless as a child,
Who couldn’t, without aid, escape from the wild.
A dashing, young warrior stepped up to her side
And, with a slight grin said, “I’ll give you a ride.”

She climbed on his back with her mail and her spear,
Commanding, “Ho, Darren, let’s get outta here!”
And before any others could intercede
She kicked with her heels in the sides of her steed.

Though wounded in pride and filled with dismay
He stubbornly grimaced and carried the day.
The Song of the Morning is where they returned
A cure for her ailment could there be discerned.

The priest knew the spell that cured the infection.
The cleric was back, but with no recollection.
None spoke e’er again of the awkward account
Of Miss Sibyl making poor Darren her mount.
Final PC: Regor the Valorious, the ONLY theatrically-inclined half-orc androgyne wandering ALFA, Artistic Director for Cormanthor Stage Productions, one-time stand up pirate and self-educated barrister of the bar.

Former PC: Begor Nightstrummer, Executive Stage Writer and Assistant Director of Planned Gifts for the Roving Entertainment Group of Ruith

Current PC: Sheshe Little Eels
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