Bluebird’s song

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ravin
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Re: Bluebird’s song

Post by ravin »

Exhausted and far more pale than usual wren lay on her side curled nested among plush pillows and covered by down and wool blankets.
Her slight form , despite this , still shivered uncontrollably. It had been less than a full cycle since she felt the chill of death magic drain all but her last breath of life from her. Healing magic had restored some of her vitality, but full recovery would take time. And no magic could dispel the memory. Or the fear.
Her notebook lay on the bed nearby. The quill and small ink vial scattered around it haphazardly. Within the pages , words written in an attempt to make sense of the events of the last day.

——-

Blood. So much blood. Mine? I don’t remember everything. We were leaving Yintros. The sun still in the sky. It was just setting , wasn’t it? We had time. We were all spent. Injuries from that damn stag beetle still stinging my side. I don’t know who saw the vampire first. MD , Hudol , Elero, Shal? It grabbed someone, just a woman in the wrong place. She was dead in seconds. Others came to her aid and ours. We were useless.

I told them to run. I had the stake in my hand but there was no way I could have driven it home. So I ran.
The cold voice in my mind laughing at my fear. For a moment I thought it was my own voice. Then the cold, sickening , needle sharp pain in my back and darkness closing in.

This was too familiar.

As my vision began to fade, I see the creature walking toward me..us .
Walking without any urgency at all.
Confident in it’s kill.

In that single moment every regret, sorrow, failure, unanswered question, unsaid word all crystallized into a single icy point of fear that was this creature.

There would be no more music. No more warmth. No more Vale. Vansa would win.

I felt a hand close around my wrist. Breath filled my lungs with a surge of energy. I was pulled up and forward. MD.

Before my mind had time to clear the cold whisper returned.

Run, you fools. All of your souls will be ours soon enough.

The crystal fear shattered. I ran. I didn’t stop running until we reached the gate. I was still trying to run even as we closed the door to the lodge.
I vaguely remember Morgan and Hudol rushing back to find the beast.

Then the world went black.

Was it hours or days later when I woke? Md was sitting in front of my door his large, kind and worried face etched with exhaustion. I sent him to bed.

It was only hours later I found out about Morgan’s death. The fear that had been icing inside me since hearing that voice in my head exploded in a fireball of rage.

That rage focused with pinpoint accuracy on one face.

“Eye for an eye and all that...”

Vansa.

No more. Enough is enough!
I’m sick of the loss. Sick of the fear!
I’m not going to feed her or her evil.

If you can hear my thoughts , creature, tell that hag queen of yours we’re coming.

It’s closing time bitch. Time to pay the tab.

———
Current PC:Wren Bluefeather
Finnea Chaestina

<Maxcell> as I was saying, nobody steps on a virtual crotch like Ravin
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ravin
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Re: Bluebird’s song

Post by ravin »

Wren sits on the stool near her large harp. Her fingers plucking and strumming both melody and harmony. Her whole being focused on the complex song. The music shifts like wind on a stormy sea. Her heart completely given to the melancholy song. Her fingers move over the strings as if possessed by some unseen, primal force.

On the bed her notebook lays open with the latest chronicle of her life experience scrawled across the pages.

——

How can I put this to words? So many emotions. Like a whirlwind. I can’t make sense of it all. Again, I’ve seen what lies beyond life. That short step between worlds leading to a twilight place of silence. I don’t remember how I fell. I’m not sure it even matters. The grey landscape stretching out around me. I vaguely remember the distant spire that could only be the stronghold of Kelemvor. There were others around me. I wasn’t alone this time. Names wouldn’t come, but the presence was familiar. Did I reach out ? I remember a hand taking mine. Was I dreaming that? We started walking towards the spire.

Then I heard the music.

Sweet and sad, melodic and dissonant, lilting and flowing all the things music should be. Somehow, all existing at the same time. It sang and wept and laughed and raged. It was the strike of steel and whispers of silk. It was the cry of birth and the sigh of death.
Words fall short of describing it. It was in my mind and my heart and all around me. It pulled me back.

Was that the hand I held?

I woke, tears in my eyes. Sarenna and the priestess of Hanali standing over me.

Sarenna, friend and sister. Not Vale. At once I was grateful and despondent. Not only had the music gone, the hand left mine, but the man I reached to was not the one who saw my return.

I don’t remember much of the interaction that followed. Only that they saw me home and to bed.

How long did I rest? Hours? Days?

The knock on my door and the timid if still healing face of MD looked in on me with a concern and relief that spoke volumes of his kind, gentle and protective nature.

I was so weary, I don’t remember if we spoke.

I learned later that MD fell when I did. As did the gnome Boltwell and Shaleria. Bolt and Shal would never wake.

While I didn’t know the lad, he was good hearted, cautious,and a talented actor. His loss will not go unavenged.

Shal though. She was a spirit of nature, her soul would not defy the natural order. And her loss I feel more keenly. She was practical and wise and in her heart, kind. Her carving brought joy to those she gifted with it. Her cheeky way of sauntering in and out as a wolf. I am sure she enjoyed scaring Trin.
She was unique, beautiful, strong and worthy of respect and admiration. She was a dear friend. I pray to the Seldarine she is reborn as a wolf, or a dryad. The Westwood will forever echo with her howl.

That night, last night? Was it just last night? Vale showed up at the lodge. We spoke.

He decided we should no longer be lovers.

Pain upon pain.

Except I was expecting this one. Since Morgan’s death he had been pulling away from me. Retreating back into his discipline and his armor of duty and honor. He feels the weight of each death as if they were his responsibility. No amount of contradiction will change his mind.

He locks the emotions away in himself so that he can preserve the lives and hearts of others.

He’s worse than a paladin. He’s far more stubborn.
And I loved him ...still love him anyway.

I can’t be angry . I hoped for too much. Looked for something that wasn’t there. That was my fault. I wanted an illusion. Someone to heal wounds left open too long. I wanted strength because I was weak. I wanted attention and passion. Someone to see me. Just me. But it wasn’t equal. I thought I could show him how to love. That love could live side by side with discipline . I thought I could save him and he could save me. I was wrong. As much as it hurts. I can’t be mad. You don’t get mad at a cat for being a cat. It simply is. I always knew, somewhere inside, that it was a long shot. A fantasy. I hoped it would be real. When vansa came, I hoped that it would show him that life was better. That you can laugh and still be strong. But that’s not him. His path leads you elsewhere. I’m glad at least, as bittersweet as it seems now, that we had the one night. Maybe it meant different things to us.
So we continue, without regrets, as friends. As much as it hurts. Love means loving enough to let go. I can’t cage him. I won’t
But there will always be part of me, how ever long I live, that loves him. I won’t regret that. Ever.

No matter how much it hurts right now, pain is temporary. I’m an expert in that field. But, as my first mentor said: Live for the moments that ease the pain and make you smile,Drink the best alcohol you can find, never ever regret Love. Even when it’s over, And always follow the music.

I’ll try.

W
Current PC:Wren Bluefeather
Finnea Chaestina

<Maxcell> as I was saying, nobody steps on a virtual crotch like Ravin
Rumple C
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Re: Bluebird’s song

Post by Rumple C »

:music:
12.August.2015: Never forget.
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ravin
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Re: Bluebird’s song

Post by ravin »

Wren lay on her bed, tossing and turning in fitful respite. Every now and again a sigh would escape her lips. Then the frustration would well up again and another pillow would feel the full force of her rage. She would occasionally bury her head and just scream. The magic that was around her at all times vibrated in sympathy causing papers to fall from the bed and the strings of the great harp in the corner to hum.

On the floor, open and half covered in discarded papers Aoth her notebook. Scrawled on the pages were words. Words that ,to Wren, didn’t come close to describing the situation.

——-

Conflict and confusion . Up or down. Left or right. I don’t know.
My heart breaks and yet there is music again. Vansa is alive but her hold is broken. Do we celebrate or prepare for an attack?
Kalo and Axl are gone beyond our reach. Is it arrogant that I thought we might bring back any that fell, as I was. Then I am reminded that my case was unusual. It is not commonplace to return as we have. Nor is it normal to go hunting as we do, every day, sewer or streets, crypt or woods. The citizens, the normal people aren’t like this. But that’s what makes us adventurers.
We should be an official Guild. I feel like since we became a lodge things have gotten lax and sloppy. As much as I love the chaos and freedom of doing whatever I want, the organization needs structure if our people are going to survive. I’ve submitted my ideas to Cornelius. Will need his permission to initiate anything. Let’s hope it was a good decision.

Yet more conflict though! A love letter. I can’t say that the source was completely unexpected. I’ve known that look in a man’s eyes since I was old enough to know what it meant. It’s a beautiful letter. And touching. But, I can’t respond to it. Not favorably anyway. I will have to try not to hurt him but leave no doubt that such affection can’t be reciprocated right now.

It’s too soon.

Then there’s MD. My best friend and constant companion. The letter caused him to panic. He hasn’t read it but knows it’s nature. He finally took the chance and kissed me. Spilling the emotions and fears that have been shut away for months. Feelings I knew existed. He’s a terrible liar. But, I loved another at the time. In a way, I still do. How can I feel anything but loss right now? And yet, the music is there.

I heard it when I was led from the Fugue plane and back to the waking world. I felt a hand in mine guiding me back, never letting go. I know now who’s hand it was. That realization was both comfort and anxiety for me.

I felt it again when he comforted my fears the night of the assault. And again when he kissed me in his panic. He feared losing me to another man. But there was fear too. A sad dread. The same thing I felt when I read the letter. The same words in my mind.

What about Vale? What if he changes his mind and comes back. He’s done it before.

But something in me knows that’s not gonna happen. It’s just a “what if”

Vale made his choice. It wasn’t love. I knew from the start it never would be. Men with ideas, when it comes to it, will always choose those ideals over the wants of the heart.

Both the author of the letter and even my best friend are men of ideals. And if the gods make them choose....

I’m afraid. That’s the simple answer. Vale hurt me more than I want to admit. Now I’m scared of it happening again.

Why am I afraid?

Because I don’t want to be left again.

And not even left for another woman.

I still ask myself why I wasn’t enough. But I know it’s not me. Would I be enough for anyone? Md swears I am. But how does he know? He’s young and inexperienced. What if he’s just feeling that “ first love “ rush? The author of the letter is the same. A zealous young man caught up in emotions he may not even understand.

Why am I trying to justify my fear? Why can’t I just stop this and accept that there are people who love me?
Not just the two who have professed it, but friends, family that care enough to think a love letter may be a trap to lead me to my death.

As stupid as that sounds I was grateful for the concern. Like having brothers that actually love you.

Md already knows that I need more time. He accepted it. Now I just have to find a way to tell the other without hurting him too much. He deserves that much.

We’ll see what happens.

W
Current PC:Wren Bluefeather
Finnea Chaestina

<Maxcell> as I was saying, nobody steps on a virtual crotch like Ravin
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ravin
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Re: Bluebird’s song

Post by ravin »

She was relaxing for the first time in a long while. The bath had been warm, the fire danced in the fireplace. The moon elf bard lay on a pile of pillows wrapped in a linen bath sheet in front of the radiant flames. Her notebook lay open on the pillows before her, her eyes closed as if listening.

In a very real way, Wren was listening. Hearing the minute sounds around her. The pop and crackle of the fire. The faint drip of the dragon shaped water tap as it spilled its last remnant drops into the empty tub. The whisper of summer winds off of the sea of swords that was sure to carry a storm with it. The slow pulse of the forge bellows two floors below. All of these things spoke to her. Sang to her. And underneath it all, there seemed to be a faint unspoken, unsung, unheard song. One that she so often couldn’t hear.

Her election as guild mistress and the ensuing madness that followed had made her deaf to it recently, she could barely hear her own thoughts much less the music. She hadn’t heard it since she realized her feelings for her longtime friend MD.

Even after the incident with the fire and the demon running rampant on the streets she had come to a realization. She could shape the job to fit her. She didn’t have to try to fit the mold left to her. She didn’t have to be Vale or Cornelius. She could and Would be Wren Bluefeather. And she alone would define what that was.
She started writing again. Her foot tapping out a driving rhythm as she did so.
_____________

Heartbeat


Beating
Pounding
Driving
Building

Singing
screaming
calling
Crying

Burning
Piercing
Falling
Flying

Crashing
Churning
Tempting
Lying

Haunting
Mourning
Soothing
stirring

Loving
Hating
Healing
Hurting

Giving
Taking
Needing
wanting

Moving
Making
Trying
Daunting


Feeling
Finding
Serving
Meaning

Rising
Falling
Starting
Ending

Aching
Longing
Touching
Bending

Lasting
Binding
Living
Killing

Flying
Fleeting
And
Fulfilling

In this, the rhythm of the soul
Only truth can make us whole
______________

Somewhere between writing and listening, Wren fell into a reverie state. Not asleep, but not wholly conscious either. And for the first time, finding a measure of peace.
Current PC:Wren Bluefeather
Finnea Chaestina

<Maxcell> as I was saying, nobody steps on a virtual crotch like Ravin
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ravin
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Re: Bluebird’s song

Post by ravin »

The Inn Of the Dripping Dagger
* the smokey blusey tune slinks through the tavern as the blue-clad elf steps to center stage.*

"
I left you for so long
to wander far afield
a heart searching for peace
a soul longing to heal

Now i have come back
now that i can see
you heart is clearly broken
like the one inside of me

Broken tables, Broken chairs
Broken hearts, need repair
Broken Promise, can you forgive?
Broken Dream, that yet may live

Maybe we can start again
now that i'm back for good
no one knows you like i do
very few ever could

open the doors, just let me in
we're magic, you and i
we'll never know what may come
if we never even try

Broken tables, Broken chairs
Broken hearts, need repair
Broken Promise, can you forgive?
Broken Dream, that yet may live

*in a low husky sweet voice the singer speaks in rthymic half-whispers *

"I see you...the real you...Perhaps we can heal eachother and make the Broken Dream whole ...at...Last....."

*amid the sounds of applause and forgotten accolades Wren Bluefeather leaves the stage and makes her way back to the Adventurers Quarter. Back Home.
Current PC:Wren Bluefeather
Finnea Chaestina

<Maxcell> as I was saying, nobody steps on a virtual crotch like Ravin
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ravin
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Re: Bluebird’s song

Post by ravin »

Wren lay next to Hawke in the oversized bed of the Guildmaster's suite. his even measured breaths spoke of a restful state. the first time she had seen him so since meeting him. In this one Elf, she had found , not Vale or Korsan, but someone unexpected. Someone who she could help heal, and who in turn could help heal her. Perhaps, in time , a true partner. but it was far too soon to tell.

She opened up her notebook and began to write.



raindrops fall on windowsill, the pain to bear a bitter pill
a broken heart within me bleeds, sorrow's maw the monster feeds
out of time, out of breath, when in the heart there's nothing left
torn asunder, blood and bone. with no heart to call my own

you left me here, in rage and doubt. so full of fear and no way out
i cried for you , with bitter tears. praying that your voice i'd hear
but never came the sweetest words, and in my heart the death of worlds
nothing left for me to feel, the gaping wound will never heal

but dawn it comes after darkest night. and there i find a guiding light
winsome rose, bless me please. my heart i do entrust to thee.
for now this broken heart may mend, and with that learn to fly again
Hanali guide me with your will, to loving arms and dreams fulfilled

softest promise of spring reborn, comes after winter's coldest morn.
for hope, like ray of guiding light, can see one through the deepest night
and ever live a burning flame to ignite within the heart again
even in the darkest night the flame of hope is burning bright

and the rain falls down, and the tears won't dry, in your heart the grief's cold cry.
and the memory now as fresh as then , will the pain let you love again ?
in my arms find only peace, in my heart find love's release
for future full of hope thought lost, together we find peace at last.



———-


Unexpected, when I looked at you.
Always there for me
But I didn’t see the truth inside
Until you let me see

Stalwart shield, defender, friend
The wall that keeps me safe
All that armor could never hide
What blue eyes convey

We both have scars from fading wounds
Our hearts are wounded still
To heal those hurts may take some time
though,I believe they will

In darkness, I feel you at my side
Heartbeat strong and sure
You lay beside me, yet never touch
Perhaps one night you’ll dare.

You held my hand in shadows deep
Though I could not see
I felt you there, right by my side
And knew you’d never leave

The music plays when you are close
My reckless heart breaks free
For just a moment without the fear
There’s naught but you and me

Love is reckless, passion burns
Yet fear restrains us both
Yet I can’t resist what’s plain as day
To tell myself the truth

Only forward can we go
There’s no stopping now .
Lost we were, but now have found
Each other’s heart, somehow

From this point on, we’re not alone
Just hold me in your arms
Step by step, each challenge meet
Together from now on.
Current PC:Wren Bluefeather
Finnea Chaestina

<Maxcell> as I was saying, nobody steps on a virtual crotch like Ravin
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ravin
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Re: Bluebird’s song

Post by ravin »

The black well


Yawning maw of endless dark
Swallows all the light
No glimmer, not a single spark
In this perpetual night

Hallway twists and then it turns
Claws on stone do scrape
Within Undead black heart burns
For blood with mouth agape

Foulness rises from below
The place of grave resort
No, my dearest never go
Down the hole in Black well court

In the shadows, time he bides
For prey to wander near
When the fangs no longer hide
You’ll know the truth of fear

Strike fast with stake or magic blade
Do not linger there
For Evil lies in coffin bed
Within the vampire’s lair

Foulness rises from below
The place of grave resort
No, my dearest never go
Down the hole in Black well court
Current PC:Wren Bluefeather
Finnea Chaestina

<Maxcell> as I was saying, nobody steps on a virtual crotch like Ravin
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