A Land Far Away

Okay, so I know I've been a bit quiet recently ig and here, there has been a reason, I promise! Basically, I won a competition with a small publisher to contribute to a new fantasy series and I've been working on that. However, my real life job has also gotten very busy (working on submitting a paper on my research) so the deadline is approaching and I'm not going to make it. Because it's a collaborative project between many writers, it's okay for me to outsource so to speak and ask for "ghostwriters" to help me with the project so here's my request to the writers of Alfa!

Is there anyone who would be willing to help me with a few scenes please? I need:

- A market barter scene between the hero and the villain's 2IC (in disguise as a merchant)
- A fey orgy in the woods, from the hero's point of view, but kept in a non-sexual way (the hero doesn't understand what's going on, as he's still a young boy)
- A romantic mating between a woman and her lover who has been turned into a unicorn. Later on she'll give birth to a unicorn-centaur and (obviously) die in the process
- Detailed construction of a pyramid tomb (don't worry, I've already done the research required to make it sound authentic- it has to read like a manual, I want to educate people here to construction techniques of the ancient Egyptians)
- a grand feast to rival GRR Martin's Song of Ice and Fire series' feasts. Seriously, the publishers have seen how popular the series is and want to dedicate a few hundred to a thousand pages, simply on food. There will be an appendix of the actual recipes.

Let me know if you can help! Thanks so much

This seems familiar.

Very... familiar.
http://www.alandfaraway.org/phpBB3/view ... =6&t=47391

it is Loubday

nice link Zelk - the copyright one was better. If I had been posting to library regularly back then, not only would I fallen for it, I would have posted the complete text of a fair use response to WOTC as well as an assertion that due to our members ownership of WOTC FR products they were in fact licensed to use the content.

Next time use ALFA General. And appear more panicked. And ask for help proofreading the research paper too!

I am pretty sure it is a genuine request.

I have lost track of the times I have needed help writing my inter-species fantasy secks.

I mean... Tab C goes into Slot S...right? I am so confused.

Castano wrote:nice link Zelk - the copyright one was better. If I had been posting to library regularly back then, not only would I fallen for it, I would have posted the complete text of a fair use response to WOTC as well as an assertion that due to our members ownership of WOTC FR products they were in fact licensed to use the content.

Next time use ALFA General. And appear more panicked. And ask for help proofreading the research paper too!

As i recall, clouddancing wrote up something like that last year in a panic until someone saw the absurdity in "sandshallow" and cottoned on to the foolishness Obviously there can be no next time... i am going to be watched like a hawk next April. Unless i outsource... are you volunteering? ;-D

I hope i gave people a few giggles this year!

I recall being one of the ones fooled

And am now reminded of the words of our last president: "Fool me once shame on... ... shame on you... ... ... ... y'fooled me, so you can't fool me again."