A Land Far Away

What Drives Every Man

In search of what drives ev’ry man
I took t’open roads
An’ traveled here t’Silv’rymoon
Visitin’ all abodes.

A tavern first I chanced upon
An’ thirstin’ entered there,
Purchased a meal an’ spied a drunk –
A chap upon a chair.

I sought his eyes and asked, “Good sah,
What drives you, by an’ by?”
He promptly fell upon the floor
An’ uttered this reply . . .

“Ale, ale, y’need the stuff!
I drink ‘cause I can’t get enough.
Without it life c’n be so rough.”
Then passin’ out, he silent stayed.

Departin’ thence as night drew nigh,
I came upon a glen
An’ seated ‘round a glowin’ fire
I found four sturdy men.

Their garb told me adventurin’
Was the trade they did ply.
An’ so I queried, “What drives you?”
An’ awaited their reply . . .

“Gold, gold, y’need it lad!
We seek amounts we’ve never had.
Without it life c’n be so sad.”
Then, restin’ back, they silent laid.

I traveled on, unsettled by
The answers I’d received
An’ came next on a church run by
A cleric who believed.

Approachin’ meekly, I did ask
M’question with a sigh,
“What drives men, priest?” Then he gave me
a sermon in reply . . .

“Faith, faith, y’need to seek!
Your own god wants t’hear y’speak.
Without it, life c’n be so bleak.”
Then, with his god, he silent prayed.

I left that hallowed worship house
dejected an’ dismayed.
“Ale, gold, an’ faith?” I pondered,
Feelin’ somewhat betrayed.

Then onward pressed I to the Gem -
The ol’ Gem of the North -
An’ found, upon my enterin’ in
A contest goin’ forth.

I’ve entered it an’ . . . well, I’m here t’night
An’ happy t’relay
I’ve found the answer t’m’quest
Here at this fine soiree.

Our dearest host, Alustriel,
The city’s Lady High -
when first I met her noble grace
I formed my own reply . . .

“Love, love, ‘tis in one’s eye!
In somethin’ we must glorify.
Without it, life must fade an’ die
Thus warmly now I serenade.

Y’see, good Lords an’ Ladies too
‘Tis not the thing we love
But love itself of anythin’
That drives a man t’more

So seek y’selves what you may love
Whether ‘tis here or there
An’ as f’me I’ll sing all eve
Of Alustriel, fair!


And He Kissed Her On The Face

And he kissed her on the face,
And the crew began to swoon.
Oh, oh, up she goes, we're bound for Silverymoon.
And he kissed her on the nose,
And the crew began to swoon,
Oh, oh, up she goes, we're bound for Silverymoon.

(Chorus)
No more, no more, we go to sea no more,
As soon we reach the town tonight
We're leaving for the shore.

And he kissed her on the lips,
And the crew began to swoon.
Oh, oh, up she goes, we're bound for Silverymoon.
And he kissed her on the neck,
And the crew began to swoon,
Oh, oh, up she goes, we're bound for Silverymoon.

(Chorus)

And he kissed her on the bosom,
And the crew began to swoon.
Oh, oh, up she goes, we're bound for Silverymoon.
And he kissed her on the mmmmmmmmmmmm,
hm hm hm hm hm hm hm,
Oh, oh, up she goes, we're bound for Silverymoon.

(Chorus)

The Epic Adventures of Kert and Korm

From all directions they poured,
The sea of ne'er ending dogmen,
With tooth and claw and wicked blade,
Their vicious snarl and growl.

Against them all our two heroes stood,
Back to back they faced the horde down,
With blade and axe they held them back,
They fought them hard they fought them well.

Against their lord they finally fought,
The great beast strong our heroes hurt,
With a mighty blow from the evil gnoll,
To the ground our brave Korm fell.

With an angry roar Kert slayed the mighty beast,
And with reflexes quick,
Brought back his friend with liquid life,
"Tis but a wound of flesh!" Did Korm yell.