Alone.
I am alone. This is all I am, all that my existence has shown me. I am a freak. Worse, a freak of magic. The gods have made me live more then a mocked existence.
They have seen to it, that all my feelings, my emptiness, my sorrow, my darkness all is laid bare with but the spark of magic. The weave is a curse, and so am I.
I have lived in darkness all my life. The shadowdale, ominous name that it is, I thought I would live there. Could my destiny be there? My experiences just continue to harden me now.
I allowed myself to love, for an instance. I felt happy, the birds were singing and I forgot who I was, and what. But then I saw back into my past, and realised how weak this place has made me become. I am not as strong as I once was, all because I trusted.
My "friends" just use me as much as those who hurt me in my days of Ordulin. How I wish I could be the one using them instead. Give them what they deserve.
None can understand how I feel.
I enjoy staring into the abyss of darkness. The frost magic, my own being escapes. I can not feel it anymore, but I can tell when I see my own breath. The ice within, and within it an even deeper darkness.
I was never allowed to live. I cant find my way to live either. The gods should just cast me to the wall and end my life. The wall to me is a blessing. Where else could I find the peace I seek? It will take my mind, and spirit when my body is long dead. Not a trace of me will be left. No suffering or pain.
The wall is the one place where all are equal to the gods. Equally damned. I will embrace that fate, against the gods that have used me as their plaything in life. Made me suffer endlessly in life. I refuse to let them have me in death.
It will be my only victory.
Dark laments of a half-elf
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orangetree
- Dungeon Master
- Posts: 897
- Joined: Thu Jun 03, 2004 9:10 pm
- Location: UK (GMT)
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alynnrobinso
- Dire Badger
- Posts: 186
- Joined: Mon Jan 05, 2004 4:13 am
- Location: New Jersey
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PensivesWetness
- Frost Giant
- Posts: 702
- Joined: Thu Oct 28, 2004 4:25 am
- Location: Cleveland, Ohio (where? whut? dude...)
me/ Huggles her more!foaloke wrote:Nice. Very dark, but nice. I really need to chat with Sylvia some more.
<Gebb> ok, what does it mean to be "huggled"? <spidroth_esq> Something terrible. <Squamatus> buggered <Dran> sodomised <Squamatus> by an acorn on a stick <tresca> LOL <Gebb> that didn't help <alynn>
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orangetree
- Dungeon Master
- Posts: 897
- Joined: Thu Jun 03, 2004 9:10 pm
- Location: UK (GMT)
I have never seen a hero.
They say they know everything, all the time you know. I don't get it. What did I do? I could have done something damn you all to hell. What was I supposed to do?
How could I have been so stupid! I am an idiot. A slow witted thing, thats why. You know what my first mistake was? I visited the springs. I vowed never to visit that place, just like I vowed to never visit sembia. I broke my vow and what happens? I messed up.
I spent a difficult evening there. Can you believe I saw Dara? I saw right through her and her sage friend. They were up to something, and its not just paranoia telling me that. Well alright it is paranoia. I spent an uncomfortable night there, in a "Room" which might as well have been outside. I mean gods Emerald Springs! I go in a room to shelter, not to pretend im camping. I couldn't leave fast enough.
On my way back to shadowdale, I saw a broken wagon down the road. (yeah, I was a good girl. I didn't pry it open. I was tempted). A man showed up with blood all over him, claimed he had given the bandits a good fight. Guess I should have thought something strange at that point, but it all seemed fine to me. Said he was going to move the goods to his camp and off the road, again all perfectly reasonable. He asked if I could help him move his things to his safe camp. 25 coins for the work. It was late, and I was worried of drow... but felt, why not? Its not as if ive made any coin lately.
What the hell did I do? I wish there was some sign, some way I could have known what i was getting myself in to. I felt I could handle a few people though. Worse they could do is rob me, at least thats what i thought.
I was told to join them for dinner. I felt clausterphobic all of a sudden. There honestly wasnt a way out.
I stood down at the camp fire, and noticed the children all locked up. Dear gods I can never forget their screams. Like pitiful animals. I wanted so much to set them free. I remember my own treatment, when I was a girl. I was put in a cage once, a makeshift zoo for the freak I suppose. Seeing it again though brought those memories back. I wanted to help them. Unfortunately, these bandits were not the usual idiots. They had set up a decent perimeter, and I was ensnared.
"A pretty human lass could be with 200 coins to the Drow" Said their leader. This old woman with a scar.
Me? Pretty? I'm a freak. Just as well they didn't see the truth of my nature. They demanded I either join them, or become their latest property to sell. (seriously, me worth 200 coins?) The children were also to be sold. I felt sick. I've done some bad things in my life but one thing thats taboo in this buisness is to involve children. Taboo to me anyway.
For what its worth, I didn't want to enter a fight I would loose. But neither did I want to end up as their property. It would be Sembia all over again. I hate them all.
I *smudge* This *smudge* *smudge*
This one is hard for me to describe. They took out a child, and brought him to me. A sick boy, he was about to die anyway of his treatment. They demanded I gutted him. I held the boy to my stomach, my hand covering his eyes. a knife in my hand. The others were around me, waiting. They wanted to see what I will do. If I refused, I would be attacked.
I started to reason just how much I was trapped. They knew they could take my coin anyway. They could sell me. And this child's life, was about to die... dare I kill him? It would earn their trust but... could I join this gang temporarily and make my leave quietly? I had done so before with other gangs, idiot ones. But I know from past experience its not easy. Now I wonder if I could have done better doing it. I'm not brave though.. I didn't want to put my life in further danger. I do not intend to see the wall yet. Not until this world has known me, however temporary such a thing would be.
Still the boy was there, he cried. I said some words I am not proud of. I wanted to make them think I understood... Curse my elven blood! it made me think slowly. were I human I could have reacted faster, maybe even saw the deception before I entered so deep.
What could I do... I laughed. I was mad, and insane, I just laughed. I looked at their leader with my most coldest stare. She smiled. I wanted to kill her. I brought out my staff... The staff. Its blade still hung with the cold winter frost, the paladin Kelev's old blade, forever frozen.
"You don't know who youve pissed off tonight. I am Sylvia Lane. Sorcerer! You will let me and the child go, or I will summon the dagger of the cold death. There will be no escape for any of you!"
Someone should have told me I was a poor lyer. However they were mesmerized by the staff just as I hoped. But someone in the shadows was not. someone too far away. Darkness sprang into existence. not mine, but sumone elses. Hell! I hate when somone elses dark intrudes! Then I heard it... a slow whistle amid the sounds of swords being drawn. My ears twitched, and I don't know how but I could swear i could sense the exact motion of an arrow coming for me. It was after my heart. The child! he was still in my arms! I had to run! I made a motion..
The child fell limp. The arrow meant for my heart had killed the boy. I used the shadows to run away. I knew he was already dead. The boy had nothing on him, all I could do was bury him.
The towns guard were not much help, they refused to leave their post. I told them of the children being sold. They still refused. A pox on them. They are just like the guards of Sembia.
Course when I gathered up a significant force, there was no trace of the slave traders being there.
Crazy Syl Crazy Syl Crazy Syl. Thats what they think of me. Attention seeker perhaps. Not worth talking to. Evil one. The woman of darkness.
I wanted to be a hero for once. I wanted respect, power, and wealth. I could have dropped the child, and have the arrow take me. Maybe it would have missed my heart and I could still take the child to safety. But none of that happened. I held the child, in front of me, as the arrow came. His blood was upon me, but for some reason I felt nothing. I was simply cold. Its not as if I've any friends to tell my tale to, nobody would understand. If I tell them, they will think I let the child die on purpose.
I replay the situation over in my mind. Did I unconciously used the boy as a shield? Dear gods, I'll never forgive myself for this. I'm so sorry.
If only I had more power.
They say they know everything, all the time you know. I don't get it. What did I do? I could have done something damn you all to hell. What was I supposed to do?
How could I have been so stupid! I am an idiot. A slow witted thing, thats why. You know what my first mistake was? I visited the springs. I vowed never to visit that place, just like I vowed to never visit sembia. I broke my vow and what happens? I messed up.
I spent a difficult evening there. Can you believe I saw Dara? I saw right through her and her sage friend. They were up to something, and its not just paranoia telling me that. Well alright it is paranoia. I spent an uncomfortable night there, in a "Room" which might as well have been outside. I mean gods Emerald Springs! I go in a room to shelter, not to pretend im camping. I couldn't leave fast enough.
On my way back to shadowdale, I saw a broken wagon down the road. (yeah, I was a good girl. I didn't pry it open. I was tempted). A man showed up with blood all over him, claimed he had given the bandits a good fight. Guess I should have thought something strange at that point, but it all seemed fine to me. Said he was going to move the goods to his camp and off the road, again all perfectly reasonable. He asked if I could help him move his things to his safe camp. 25 coins for the work. It was late, and I was worried of drow... but felt, why not? Its not as if ive made any coin lately.
What the hell did I do? I wish there was some sign, some way I could have known what i was getting myself in to. I felt I could handle a few people though. Worse they could do is rob me, at least thats what i thought.
I was told to join them for dinner. I felt clausterphobic all of a sudden. There honestly wasnt a way out.
I stood down at the camp fire, and noticed the children all locked up. Dear gods I can never forget their screams. Like pitiful animals. I wanted so much to set them free. I remember my own treatment, when I was a girl. I was put in a cage once, a makeshift zoo for the freak I suppose. Seeing it again though brought those memories back. I wanted to help them. Unfortunately, these bandits were not the usual idiots. They had set up a decent perimeter, and I was ensnared.
"A pretty human lass could be with 200 coins to the Drow" Said their leader. This old woman with a scar.
Me? Pretty? I'm a freak. Just as well they didn't see the truth of my nature. They demanded I either join them, or become their latest property to sell. (seriously, me worth 200 coins?) The children were also to be sold. I felt sick. I've done some bad things in my life but one thing thats taboo in this buisness is to involve children. Taboo to me anyway.
For what its worth, I didn't want to enter a fight I would loose. But neither did I want to end up as their property. It would be Sembia all over again. I hate them all.
I *smudge* This *smudge* *smudge*
This one is hard for me to describe. They took out a child, and brought him to me. A sick boy, he was about to die anyway of his treatment. They demanded I gutted him. I held the boy to my stomach, my hand covering his eyes. a knife in my hand. The others were around me, waiting. They wanted to see what I will do. If I refused, I would be attacked.
I started to reason just how much I was trapped. They knew they could take my coin anyway. They could sell me. And this child's life, was about to die... dare I kill him? It would earn their trust but... could I join this gang temporarily and make my leave quietly? I had done so before with other gangs, idiot ones. But I know from past experience its not easy. Now I wonder if I could have done better doing it. I'm not brave though.. I didn't want to put my life in further danger. I do not intend to see the wall yet. Not until this world has known me, however temporary such a thing would be.
Still the boy was there, he cried. I said some words I am not proud of. I wanted to make them think I understood... Curse my elven blood! it made me think slowly. were I human I could have reacted faster, maybe even saw the deception before I entered so deep.
What could I do... I laughed. I was mad, and insane, I just laughed. I looked at their leader with my most coldest stare. She smiled. I wanted to kill her. I brought out my staff... The staff. Its blade still hung with the cold winter frost, the paladin Kelev's old blade, forever frozen.
"You don't know who youve pissed off tonight. I am Sylvia Lane. Sorcerer! You will let me and the child go, or I will summon the dagger of the cold death. There will be no escape for any of you!"
Someone should have told me I was a poor lyer. However they were mesmerized by the staff just as I hoped. But someone in the shadows was not. someone too far away. Darkness sprang into existence. not mine, but sumone elses. Hell! I hate when somone elses dark intrudes! Then I heard it... a slow whistle amid the sounds of swords being drawn. My ears twitched, and I don't know how but I could swear i could sense the exact motion of an arrow coming for me. It was after my heart. The child! he was still in my arms! I had to run! I made a motion..
The child fell limp. The arrow meant for my heart had killed the boy. I used the shadows to run away. I knew he was already dead. The boy had nothing on him, all I could do was bury him.
The towns guard were not much help, they refused to leave their post. I told them of the children being sold. They still refused. A pox on them. They are just like the guards of Sembia.
Course when I gathered up a significant force, there was no trace of the slave traders being there.
Crazy Syl Crazy Syl Crazy Syl. Thats what they think of me. Attention seeker perhaps. Not worth talking to. Evil one. The woman of darkness.
I wanted to be a hero for once. I wanted respect, power, and wealth. I could have dropped the child, and have the arrow take me. Maybe it would have missed my heart and I could still take the child to safety. But none of that happened. I held the child, in front of me, as the arrow came. His blood was upon me, but for some reason I felt nothing. I was simply cold. Its not as if I've any friends to tell my tale to, nobody would understand. If I tell them, they will think I let the child die on purpose.
I replay the situation over in my mind. Did I unconciously used the boy as a shield? Dear gods, I'll never forgive myself for this. I'm so sorry.
If only I had more power.
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orangetree
- Dungeon Master
- Posts: 897
- Joined: Thu Jun 03, 2004 9:10 pm
- Location: UK (GMT)
Frailties of the heart can get you killed. Or worse.
It took me a while before I can get someone to give me a basic quill. Cost me a copper.
Yes... im using copper. My emergency stores. You see, I've lost everything. Everything. Every single thing I ever scrimped for. But I'm getting ahead of myself.
It started innocently enough. I had been in shadowdale for a while, and desired to see familiar faces. After staying in shadowdale a while, I realised I was not getting anywhere. I packed what I had, and decided to head towards Ashabenford. Tired from the journey, I spent a night at the Emerald Springs. A chat with an elf, made me long for a drink. Trust me, getting conversation from an elf is an art. At least she was generous and gave a supply I could use. Nothing breaks the ice better then that... though I've more ice then most.
I was tired of pity. I wanted to talk as an equal to people. Yes I have suffered... I wanted to put it all behind me. More then that, I needed more coin.
Lonely, purposelessly, and perhaps even arrogantly I made my way to Sembia. The region I loathed the most. Being alone though I knew it was a risk. The alternative was to be alone.
Its funny how things come in twos. I met the most selfless person first. A priestess of the Broken God. What can be said, aside that she is devoted and, good company. For a priestess anyway.
Then came the darkest, cruelest of evils. Some priest of bane, so I hear. I managed to make him lose face months ago. Would only hope he could forget. It wasn't as if anyone knew about it.
Wasn't good enough for him. He wanted to humiliate me as much as possible. There wasn't much way out of it. If he didn't humiliate me, He'd just kill me. Actually I am unsure if "kill" is even the right word. Maybe massacre. Powerful folks like this don't really "kill" so much as obliterate.
I really wanted to keep in contact with Sembia... much as I hated it, I felt it important. There were a few advantages.
He gave me an offer. a delivery and all things will be bygones. I figured... why not. Just one thing, and he'll leave me alone. I wish, I so wish I could have trusted his word. I knew I was going to suffer, I just didn't know how much. The man was a bully. I've known many in my life.
I promised myself not to cry. Things could be worse. Why was I so weak. Why did I feel the need to seek people.. people are just bad.
Anyway, he grilled me for information. I obliged. Stupid of me. He then had his guards surround me, and gave me another choice. I drop everything I own and live, or I try to fight my way out.
Ten to one odds, for an inexperienced Sorceress... this man probably had enough power to cripple the city, why did he care about me. (thinking about it, maybe I should have been flatered) My possessions are meager to him, but life saving to me. I struggled each and every day to earn what I could for them. For six months I saved up for the bow. These items were nothing to him. Pitiful meager, things that barely elevate me. But they were MY things. It took years of risk to gain them. Its not as if I am favored by gods, or able to gain power as quickly as others.
I wanted to fight. Dear gods I wanted to rip his heart out. I didn't care how powerful he was. I didn't give a crap that he could kill me with a thought. I was seething in anger, and helplessness.
My hand gripped my staff... Its magic glowing. The staff.. the one true magic item I have. The only link to my father. Its unfair! I dropped everything cursing his name. Sweet Hell why doesn't he just die. Why don't they all die and leave me alone.
The staff... I lost the staff. My Staff. What is it to him.. nothing. To another sorcerer, something that can project two cantrips. My staff though... was made for me. Its mine, in no other way anything else could be mine.
I lost it all. I was stripped to my undergarments and thrown out of the sewers. Can I even make it back to shadowdale...
He said if I ever come back to Sembia, he'll kill me and that I will regret shunning the Dark Hand.
I am bound for the Wall, what makes him think I really care?
Its back to shadowdale now. Nothing can improve my lot in life. They always take things away. They kill, lie and cheat, and I am left with nothing. I am so bitter and angry I wish I can project my will of it.
When I hold out my hand, it almost feels like I can remember the touch of the staff. My memory of it lingers... my will... I close my eyes, and for an instance long for the completion I once had.
So I now wake up.. and I'm lost.
I've nothing anymore. No coin, no weapon, all I have is me. I can only hope bandits see I've nothing, but I know they'll just kill me for the love of it. I hate them all.
Some day I shall return. On that day, I will blanket the entire region in ice, starting with Selgaunt. Hail will fall, and a chill so deep it will stifle hearts and quieten the blood. They will be blinded by sleet, as frostbite shreds the eyes. In that blanket of white death, people will see isolation for what it really is.
If any force in the universe can make it happen, I shall find it.
For now, I am Sylvia. Traveller, of the dales. I no longer seek company. Its never there anyway.
It will be easier now.
I wish people could like me. Now I can't even help them when I desire it. They will hate me for it. I won't tell them how I lost everything though. They might just pity me. Only thing I can do is start over.
Faerun is a cruel world. years of work, gone. For nothing.
Damn it Why the hell am I crying. Why don't they leave me alone.
It took me a while before I can get someone to give me a basic quill. Cost me a copper.
Yes... im using copper. My emergency stores. You see, I've lost everything. Everything. Every single thing I ever scrimped for. But I'm getting ahead of myself.
It started innocently enough. I had been in shadowdale for a while, and desired to see familiar faces. After staying in shadowdale a while, I realised I was not getting anywhere. I packed what I had, and decided to head towards Ashabenford. Tired from the journey, I spent a night at the Emerald Springs. A chat with an elf, made me long for a drink. Trust me, getting conversation from an elf is an art. At least she was generous and gave a supply I could use. Nothing breaks the ice better then that... though I've more ice then most.
I was tired of pity. I wanted to talk as an equal to people. Yes I have suffered... I wanted to put it all behind me. More then that, I needed more coin.
Lonely, purposelessly, and perhaps even arrogantly I made my way to Sembia. The region I loathed the most. Being alone though I knew it was a risk. The alternative was to be alone.
Its funny how things come in twos. I met the most selfless person first. A priestess of the Broken God. What can be said, aside that she is devoted and, good company. For a priestess anyway.
Then came the darkest, cruelest of evils. Some priest of bane, so I hear. I managed to make him lose face months ago. Would only hope he could forget. It wasn't as if anyone knew about it.
Wasn't good enough for him. He wanted to humiliate me as much as possible. There wasn't much way out of it. If he didn't humiliate me, He'd just kill me. Actually I am unsure if "kill" is even the right word. Maybe massacre. Powerful folks like this don't really "kill" so much as obliterate.
I really wanted to keep in contact with Sembia... much as I hated it, I felt it important. There were a few advantages.
He gave me an offer. a delivery and all things will be bygones. I figured... why not. Just one thing, and he'll leave me alone. I wish, I so wish I could have trusted his word. I knew I was going to suffer, I just didn't know how much. The man was a bully. I've known many in my life.
I promised myself not to cry. Things could be worse. Why was I so weak. Why did I feel the need to seek people.. people are just bad.
Anyway, he grilled me for information. I obliged. Stupid of me. He then had his guards surround me, and gave me another choice. I drop everything I own and live, or I try to fight my way out.
Ten to one odds, for an inexperienced Sorceress... this man probably had enough power to cripple the city, why did he care about me. (thinking about it, maybe I should have been flatered) My possessions are meager to him, but life saving to me. I struggled each and every day to earn what I could for them. For six months I saved up for the bow. These items were nothing to him. Pitiful meager, things that barely elevate me. But they were MY things. It took years of risk to gain them. Its not as if I am favored by gods, or able to gain power as quickly as others.
I wanted to fight. Dear gods I wanted to rip his heart out. I didn't care how powerful he was. I didn't give a crap that he could kill me with a thought. I was seething in anger, and helplessness.
My hand gripped my staff... Its magic glowing. The staff.. the one true magic item I have. The only link to my father. Its unfair! I dropped everything cursing his name. Sweet Hell why doesn't he just die. Why don't they all die and leave me alone.
The staff... I lost the staff. My Staff. What is it to him.. nothing. To another sorcerer, something that can project two cantrips. My staff though... was made for me. Its mine, in no other way anything else could be mine.
I lost it all. I was stripped to my undergarments and thrown out of the sewers. Can I even make it back to shadowdale...
He said if I ever come back to Sembia, he'll kill me and that I will regret shunning the Dark Hand.
I am bound for the Wall, what makes him think I really care?
Its back to shadowdale now. Nothing can improve my lot in life. They always take things away. They kill, lie and cheat, and I am left with nothing. I am so bitter and angry I wish I can project my will of it.
When I hold out my hand, it almost feels like I can remember the touch of the staff. My memory of it lingers... my will... I close my eyes, and for an instance long for the completion I once had.
So I now wake up.. and I'm lost.
I've nothing anymore. No coin, no weapon, all I have is me. I can only hope bandits see I've nothing, but I know they'll just kill me for the love of it. I hate them all.
Some day I shall return. On that day, I will blanket the entire region in ice, starting with Selgaunt. Hail will fall, and a chill so deep it will stifle hearts and quieten the blood. They will be blinded by sleet, as frostbite shreds the eyes. In that blanket of white death, people will see isolation for what it really is.
If any force in the universe can make it happen, I shall find it.
For now, I am Sylvia. Traveller, of the dales. I no longer seek company. Its never there anyway.
It will be easier now.
I wish people could like me. Now I can't even help them when I desire it. They will hate me for it. I won't tell them how I lost everything though. They might just pity me. Only thing I can do is start over.
Faerun is a cruel world. years of work, gone. For nothing.
Damn it Why the hell am I crying. Why don't they leave me alone.
*shoots Bodi in the head, then stomps repeatedly on body for harrassing OT's char.*
Good job, enjoyed the writing and am glad to read and be able to keep up with my favorite dark cloud of alfa.
Good job, enjoyed the writing and am glad to read and be able to keep up with my favorite dark cloud of alfa.
Zyrus Meynolt: [Party] For the record, if this somehow blows up in our faces and I die, I want a raiseSwift wrote: Permadeath is only permadeath when the PCs wallet is empty.
<Castano>: danielnm - can you blame them?
<danielmn>: Yes,
<danielmn>: Easily.
"And in this twilight....our choices seal our fate"
-
orangetree
- Dungeon Master
- Posts: 897
- Joined: Thu Jun 03, 2004 9:10 pm
- Location: UK (GMT)
It took a while, but I managed to reach Ashabenford when my legs started to give up.
I was hungry. I hadn't eaten anything since yesterday. Don't really know if the blood I have made it easier or worse. Hunger always seemed to happen when I thought I should be hungry.
But at this point, I was thinking I should be ravenous.
I went to the inn, and stated my lack of coin but need for food and lodgings. Two choices presented itself. Prostitution, or dancing. I chose to dance. No way in hell would I allow the other. I was given dancing rags (I wouldn't call them clothes). They fit snug, I suppose that's what they were for. I borrowed a head dress, that adequately covered my worse features.
I joined in with the other girls. I felt a mix of things. Embarrassment, shame, and quite a lot of anger. I was angry at them for doing what they did, and angry at myself for stooping to their level. Its just for the money I tell myself. I started with nothing before, I can do so again. I am not my wealth like so many others, I am Sylvia first.
Unfortunately, I am not a good dancer.
Didn't really seem to matter. The dancers all started and I tried to follow them. I forced my smile, bowed low, teased the crowd with what ever charm I could dig out from what ever was inside me. Being drunk, I guess they saw what they wanted to see.
I hoped nobody I knew would be there. By some miracle I was spared the embarrassment. At least so I thought. Who should enter the Velvet Inn other then Elminster of all people.
I nearly tripped. Elminster... enjoying... this? Well at least I know hes not a god. Just a man... typical man indeed. I tried to calm down, hes only seen me in dark clothing, nobody has ever seen me do anything as this. He wouldn't recognise me.
He passed a copper and was on his way out after some commotion that wasn't my business. I was just a dancer. Least I'll be having breakfast tonight I thought, as I gripped it. I then felt my ears twitch at a distinct tone, as a single gold coin clinked on the ground. It was on the floor of course. I had to bend down... low... people whistled. I felt so degraded. Humiliated. I just wanted them all to die.
After the dance, the other girls started talking. I know it was about me, as they all glanced at me, and laughed. Did they think me lower then them now? Are they making fun of me because they saw through my blood? No company in misery then. That's fine. I can handle it.
I spin the gold coin on the table, wondering how to turn this into more gold. I'll have to be creative.
I was hungry. I hadn't eaten anything since yesterday. Don't really know if the blood I have made it easier or worse. Hunger always seemed to happen when I thought I should be hungry.
But at this point, I was thinking I should be ravenous.
I went to the inn, and stated my lack of coin but need for food and lodgings. Two choices presented itself. Prostitution, or dancing. I chose to dance. No way in hell would I allow the other. I was given dancing rags (I wouldn't call them clothes). They fit snug, I suppose that's what they were for. I borrowed a head dress, that adequately covered my worse features.
I joined in with the other girls. I felt a mix of things. Embarrassment, shame, and quite a lot of anger. I was angry at them for doing what they did, and angry at myself for stooping to their level. Its just for the money I tell myself. I started with nothing before, I can do so again. I am not my wealth like so many others, I am Sylvia first.
Unfortunately, I am not a good dancer.
Didn't really seem to matter. The dancers all started and I tried to follow them. I forced my smile, bowed low, teased the crowd with what ever charm I could dig out from what ever was inside me. Being drunk, I guess they saw what they wanted to see.
I hoped nobody I knew would be there. By some miracle I was spared the embarrassment. At least so I thought. Who should enter the Velvet Inn other then Elminster of all people.
I nearly tripped. Elminster... enjoying... this? Well at least I know hes not a god. Just a man... typical man indeed. I tried to calm down, hes only seen me in dark clothing, nobody has ever seen me do anything as this. He wouldn't recognise me.
He passed a copper and was on his way out after some commotion that wasn't my business. I was just a dancer. Least I'll be having breakfast tonight I thought, as I gripped it. I then felt my ears twitch at a distinct tone, as a single gold coin clinked on the ground. It was on the floor of course. I had to bend down... low... people whistled. I felt so degraded. Humiliated. I just wanted them all to die.
After the dance, the other girls started talking. I know it was about me, as they all glanced at me, and laughed. Did they think me lower then them now? Are they making fun of me because they saw through my blood? No company in misery then. That's fine. I can handle it.
I spin the gold coin on the table, wondering how to turn this into more gold. I'll have to be creative.
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orangetree
- Dungeon Master
- Posts: 897
- Joined: Thu Jun 03, 2004 9:10 pm
- Location: UK (GMT)
On my journey I have seen wondrous, and cruel aspects of nature. At nights I hear the beasts. Kill or be killed, eat or be eaten.. the laws of the hunt. Trees seem to whisper old knowledge fleetingly beyond my senses. When I sleep, I just wish they would shut up. What the hell are you trying to tell me!
I shelter with what I can find. Bits and pieces of brooks and twigs. Nothing keeps the rain or the voices of nature out. Leave me alone...
Alone... yeah. What can I say that hasn't already been said. I walk the paths of adventurers, sometimes I catch a sign of a group, long ago past. Footprints, a camp, broken weapons... blood... For weeks I traveled, through North Cormyr then the Far west. Why? I don't know, I guess because I have nothing else to try.
It has been many miles and my feet are sore. The rhythm of night and day are just a blur, but the stars remain constant. Even in the day I can see the stars, just over that next horizon.
My feet have touched the planes of bones, a land of ogres. I walked with dread, and saw the master of the realm. Ugly creature... I waited a day in a mining town, hoping by next dawn it will be gone. Luck was finally with me in this.
I have reached the town of loudwater. The people seem oblivious to the cruel world outside their country. I wonder if I should show them. Not that they would listen.
My reception in loudwater did not go too pleasantly, when a mage threatened to kill me for my clothing, of all things. My clothes were all I had left, I wasn't going to let him.
I killed him.
I was angry... I wanted somone to pay for everything I felt. He was a weak mage, with an even weaker will then my own. I crushed him, and could only hope he saw dread before the end.
What does it matter though? I removed his remains, took what I felt was best. So now I am a thief as well? I don't know if any god would listen, but I didn't mean to kill him. It just happened. There wont be any consequence of the death, from what I can tell the mage was a nuisance and had it coming. His death means he wont talk. I gain some comfort in that.
I have spotted the name of an adventurer I had not seen in a long time. Actually, quite a few names. Once long ago, I had asked for help, but never got it. I guess I wasn't important enough. What does the pauper offer the King? Nothing.
What do they know of my loneliness. Traveling on my own has been difficult. I am such poor company, even to myself.
I shelter with what I can find. Bits and pieces of brooks and twigs. Nothing keeps the rain or the voices of nature out. Leave me alone...
Alone... yeah. What can I say that hasn't already been said. I walk the paths of adventurers, sometimes I catch a sign of a group, long ago past. Footprints, a camp, broken weapons... blood... For weeks I traveled, through North Cormyr then the Far west. Why? I don't know, I guess because I have nothing else to try.
It has been many miles and my feet are sore. The rhythm of night and day are just a blur, but the stars remain constant. Even in the day I can see the stars, just over that next horizon.
My feet have touched the planes of bones, a land of ogres. I walked with dread, and saw the master of the realm. Ugly creature... I waited a day in a mining town, hoping by next dawn it will be gone. Luck was finally with me in this.
I have reached the town of loudwater. The people seem oblivious to the cruel world outside their country. I wonder if I should show them. Not that they would listen.
My reception in loudwater did not go too pleasantly, when a mage threatened to kill me for my clothing, of all things. My clothes were all I had left, I wasn't going to let him.
I killed him.
I was angry... I wanted somone to pay for everything I felt. He was a weak mage, with an even weaker will then my own. I crushed him, and could only hope he saw dread before the end.
What does it matter though? I removed his remains, took what I felt was best. So now I am a thief as well? I don't know if any god would listen, but I didn't mean to kill him. It just happened. There wont be any consequence of the death, from what I can tell the mage was a nuisance and had it coming. His death means he wont talk. I gain some comfort in that.
I have spotted the name of an adventurer I had not seen in a long time. Actually, quite a few names. Once long ago, I had asked for help, but never got it. I guess I wasn't important enough. What does the pauper offer the King? Nothing.
What do they know of my loneliness. Traveling on my own has been difficult. I am such poor company, even to myself.
NUTS!!!! You've already come through NC??!! I MISSED IT!!!
(Tell me next time yur gonna be in the neighborhood!)
(Tell me next time yur gonna be in the neighborhood!)
Zyrus Meynolt: [Party] For the record, if this somehow blows up in our faces and I die, I want a raiseSwift wrote: Permadeath is only permadeath when the PCs wallet is empty.
<Castano>: danielnm - can you blame them?
<danielmn>: Yes,
<danielmn>: Easily.
"And in this twilight....our choices seal our fate"
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orangetree
- Dungeon Master
- Posts: 897
- Joined: Thu Jun 03, 2004 9:10 pm
- Location: UK (GMT)
I have spent a few days in daggerford.
I feel happy... almost, dare I say, human.
I met people in the local inn, people who talked to me. I made more money in one day then i have in a week, at a great deal less risk. Work is a little easier to come by, and I dont feel like I have to constantly proove myself.
I met an interesting man, and he needs help in Loudwater. I like him, the inclination to name a price wasn't even thought. I could use a little excitement anyway.
They speak of undeads here. I've never seen an undead. But what intrigues me is the vampire. I didn't want to admit it, but I thought vampires were mythical. I know one can animate the dead like most other things... its common sense. But a vampire? I wonder how much of the tales are true and false. I think I will have to try not to make any assumptions. Hope holy water works against them.
Course I knew something would come to eventually ruin it. It always seems to happen to me doesn't it? I saw somone I had hoped not to see. Id rather face ogres then these halfling lasses. Well, it happened a long time ago anyway hundreds of miles away. Maybe it can be buried in the past.
Always something good and something bad. I try not to let the bad things get to me anymore. I do try. I cant help but think of the odds though, that I would travel so far and gaze at one who has promised to kill me.
Why won't the gods leave me alone. Let me be happy for once.
I feel happy... almost, dare I say, human.
I met people in the local inn, people who talked to me. I made more money in one day then i have in a week, at a great deal less risk. Work is a little easier to come by, and I dont feel like I have to constantly proove myself.
I met an interesting man, and he needs help in Loudwater. I like him, the inclination to name a price wasn't even thought. I could use a little excitement anyway.
They speak of undeads here. I've never seen an undead. But what intrigues me is the vampire. I didn't want to admit it, but I thought vampires were mythical. I know one can animate the dead like most other things... its common sense. But a vampire? I wonder how much of the tales are true and false. I think I will have to try not to make any assumptions. Hope holy water works against them.
Course I knew something would come to eventually ruin it. It always seems to happen to me doesn't it? I saw somone I had hoped not to see. Id rather face ogres then these halfling lasses. Well, it happened a long time ago anyway hundreds of miles away. Maybe it can be buried in the past.
Always something good and something bad. I try not to let the bad things get to me anymore. I do try. I cant help but think of the odds though, that I would travel so far and gaze at one who has promised to kill me.
Why won't the gods leave me alone. Let me be happy for once.
-
orangetree
- Dungeon Master
- Posts: 897
- Joined: Thu Jun 03, 2004 9:10 pm
- Location: UK (GMT)
Ironies, and hypocrites, truth and lies, half truths, realities and dreams.
What do they all have in common? My life that's what.
How strange the world is, how bizarre.
He sent them to me again. The dark god, Bane. His voice was sweet this time, His agent in another guise. Did He send them to me? Why?... No gods take an interest in my life. They just don't.
All I want is a nice life, how could His embrace offer it to me? His priests tried to murder me for a simple transgression, and robbed me of all I own.
They lie... don't they? Hypocrites.
I'll never see my staff again, its something I will have to get used to. Talks of creating a world free of disorder and crime are already tainted. Perhaps its me, I've always been the kind to create chaos out of order. Its not that I mean to. It just happens.
I stir things, badly. Always against me. I hate myself.
The scratch from the undead did something deep inside. I can feel a new.. dark energy inside. It tried to make me ill... but I took a piece of it. I gained something of it.
My fear... I can bring it out, make others experience it. I can make them understand it, if only for a moment. Some minds are too simple to understand though.
The evil gods are more our friends then we know...
The Tyr priest said it himself. Perhaps because he knows deep down, the evil gods are more like us then we can ever understand. People are naturally evil. We cloth it away, with rituals and civilisation... but the heart is cruel, selfish. Myself included.
I can not even do a good deed. In trying, I was simply tricked. I can't do anything right, and so I tipped the balance towards Bane. I suppose one god up there is having a laugh now. I just did it because I wanted to have a friend. Is my humiliation complete now? Otherwise just kill me.
My good deed, was possibly an evil one. But then... I can hope that the world is not so black and white, and maybe the banites are not evil. His sweet voiced agent told of creating order, where there would be no murders, no dark corners, no extortion's.... I wish I could believe it. I owe my life to the priest, and so I will keep his secret.
I fight the urge to flee, move under a new name, be somone else that can not be tracked down.
They are, simply, all the same. All seeking dominion. The war of the gods continues up there, as much as the heart of people struggle.
What do they all have in common? My life that's what.
How strange the world is, how bizarre.
He sent them to me again. The dark god, Bane. His voice was sweet this time, His agent in another guise. Did He send them to me? Why?... No gods take an interest in my life. They just don't.
All I want is a nice life, how could His embrace offer it to me? His priests tried to murder me for a simple transgression, and robbed me of all I own.
They lie... don't they? Hypocrites.
I'll never see my staff again, its something I will have to get used to. Talks of creating a world free of disorder and crime are already tainted. Perhaps its me, I've always been the kind to create chaos out of order. Its not that I mean to. It just happens.
I stir things, badly. Always against me. I hate myself.
The scratch from the undead did something deep inside. I can feel a new.. dark energy inside. It tried to make me ill... but I took a piece of it. I gained something of it.
My fear... I can bring it out, make others experience it. I can make them understand it, if only for a moment. Some minds are too simple to understand though.
The evil gods are more our friends then we know...
The Tyr priest said it himself. Perhaps because he knows deep down, the evil gods are more like us then we can ever understand. People are naturally evil. We cloth it away, with rituals and civilisation... but the heart is cruel, selfish. Myself included.
I can not even do a good deed. In trying, I was simply tricked. I can't do anything right, and so I tipped the balance towards Bane. I suppose one god up there is having a laugh now. I just did it because I wanted to have a friend. Is my humiliation complete now? Otherwise just kill me.
My good deed, was possibly an evil one. But then... I can hope that the world is not so black and white, and maybe the banites are not evil. His sweet voiced agent told of creating order, where there would be no murders, no dark corners, no extortion's.... I wish I could believe it. I owe my life to the priest, and so I will keep his secret.
I fight the urge to flee, move under a new name, be somone else that can not be tracked down.
They are, simply, all the same. All seeking dominion. The war of the gods continues up there, as much as the heart of people struggle.
-
orangetree
- Dungeon Master
- Posts: 897
- Joined: Thu Jun 03, 2004 9:10 pm
- Location: UK (GMT)
Dunkin Fergueson...
A name few know, and now will ever know. I found out of an unknown half elf, dead recently. The circumstances however, are not known.
People like us die alone, I know that much.
I'm so angry.. but instead of rage, all I feel is cold. A strange feeling.
Dunkin, I struck a repore with you, your sincerity and shared past made comforted and saddned me all the same. However, people who seem to like me, always die quickly. Its the will of the gods, to taunt friendships in such a way with me.
This wondering spirit will remember you though, even if it hurts.
A name few know, and now will ever know. I found out of an unknown half elf, dead recently. The circumstances however, are not known.
People like us die alone, I know that much.
I'm so angry.. but instead of rage, all I feel is cold. A strange feeling.
Dunkin, I struck a repore with you, your sincerity and shared past made comforted and saddned me all the same. However, people who seem to like me, always die quickly. Its the will of the gods, to taunt friendships in such a way with me.
This wondering spirit will remember you though, even if it hurts.