A Land Far Away

As sung by Filip Silvers:

A Sun Elf went walking one day.
A minstrel, he met on the way.
Who sat on a stone
And sang all alone
Not one note awry or astray.

The Elf listened to the Bard sing,
And when the last coda did ring,
He said "that was tripe.
Ill-tuned, not unlike
A cat, in its heat, suffering."

The Bard offered apologies:
"See, riddles are my expertise.
Yet I’m perturbed
The last one I heard
Was too tough a question for me.”

The Sun Elf said "So I would bet
You lack the required intellect.
Tell me the riddle
I’ll have, ere its middle,
The answer you want, I suspect."

The Bard said "You bet, so you say.
So I bet I’ll nevermore bray,
If you bet you’ll screech
Like that cat for a week
Should you fail to answer today."

So the Bard said:

"Four of my number do gather,
Jealous that their brother matters
Much more than they,
So they separate,
But things pick up when they’re together."

The Sun Elf stood thinking, then said:
"You won’t sing again til you’re dead
It’s easy, my man
The answer’s 'The hand'
The brothers are fingers instead."

The Bard said "Quite cleverly played.
Yet you failed to answer: 'today'.
And so, like a cat,
You’ll holler and blat,
And this bard will e’er sing and play."

The moral of this may be hard
To those who have high self-regard:
Critics are legion,
Like cats they keep breedin'
But only a few can be Bards.

Here, here!


Bravo!

I like that bard and sun elves suck. Pompus and Pretencious, the lot of 'em.


Good Job,

Cheers!

I like that bard and sun elves suck. Pompus and Pretencious, the lot of 'em.


Good Job,

Cheers!

Not ALL sun elves. That's like saying all hin are thieves. Or all dwarves are fighters... or all drow are evil.



~Killthorne~

Killthorne wrote:Not ALL sun elves. That's like saying all hin are thieves. Or all dwarves are fighters... or all drow are evil.

Yes...and?

Well done!

And thus Valdur was pwnd.

And my sun elf was very nice to the bardling.

As sung, in 3/4 time, by Filip Silvers.
Inspired by (and apologies to) Grand Fromage and Killthorne

A beautiful lady who sang for her gold
Longed in her vanity not to grow old
She Offered her neck to a count name of Vlard
Now she is a bloodsucking bard

She comes out at nighttime and finds her an inn
Each patron's enchanted when her song begins
Then after ovations and bravos and raves
The bloodsucking bard takes her prey

With every refrain,
she seeks out a vein.
Her encore
means one more
to fall to her fangs.
Her ditties
are pretty,
But keep up your guard,
For she is a bloodsucking bard

She's spread her influence to minstrels and knaves
Now, alas, poor Yorick won't stay in his grave
Be very considerate, lest you enrage
That bloodsucking bard on your stage

Leave at intermission
if you go and listen.
Be wary,
Don't tarry,
Or you'll turn up missin'.
That person
Rehearsin'
Down at the graveyard
Might be a bloodsucking bard.

So if some performance has you seeing red
Do not hurl tomoatoes, throw garlic instead
For heckles and boos just don't hit quite as hard
As silver for bloodsucking bards.

They seem young--it's not true.
They've gone nosferatu.
They're quite gaunt:
They don't want
to feed, but they've got to.
It grieves me,
Believe me,
This is no canard.
Be careful of bloodsucking bards,
My friend,
Be careful of bloodsucking bards.

*ahem* Well no apologies need to be given to me.

~Killthorne~

Excellent work, my man. Now I call for a Battle of the Bards! Totte? Where are ya?

That sounds like something great to have happen in-game.

Mizbiz wrote:And thus Valdur was pwnd.

That was some pwnage. Valdur kept his opinions of the bard's music to himself, though This story does not actually reflect real events

Ronan wrote:

Mizbiz wrote:And thus Valdur was pwnd.

That was some pwnage. Valdur kept his opinions of the bard's music to himself, though This story does not actually reflect real events

Heh-heh. They rarely do.