Evensong I: Twilight

[Killthorne]

Reverie never came easy for myself. For most of my life, I have been in hiding, and continually aware that my existance was a heresy to Lolth. A surrogate family that molded me into a lifeless shadow, withheld from the normal lifestyle of any ilythirri. I was nothing to them.

My patron would come to me every score or so, and tell me of the others. His words spoke passionately of them and their individual strengths. Most of all, he spoke of their ambition and his pride for us all. I know now though, what I saw in his eyes, in those brief interludes of my feeling connected to something real. It was love. He had wished all his progeny to strive on and keep their House alive. He wanted us all to work as one to rise above it all.

My false family always bade me to never go looking for my siblings. They had their plans for me and that was that. I could not abide that any longer. At age 96, I paid handsomely for a secure escort to my patron's lead, pertaining to the last known location of my siblings. Skullport.

When I arrived to Skullport I felt as if a small piece of the surface was pulled into the Underdark and was shat upon. It was utterly wretched in comparison to my home. My wanderings ended me up at the first notable inn and tavern, The Burning Troll. The first ilythirri to greet myself, was none other than L'olath'anon.

She frightened me at first. Her gender entitling her to power over myself, and the fact that she was offering me aid, if I had needed such. Surely it was a trick I thought. Here, this exotic, beautiful female with one strange blue eye was offering me aid for nothing? A trick for sure. I denied her aid, and ended up meeting the other ilythirri of Skullport.

I watched her over time, through her meetings and social gatherings with my brother and others. I learned she was originally a yathrin of Lolth that had turned to the goddess Eilistraee. Impossible I thought. How? Why? I was told to never believe in anything Eilistraee says as I aged. She was a liar and a heretic to her own kind, and no better than any darthiir. If I was made to believe this, how could a priestess of Lolth convert to such ludicrous theology?

My sisters soon ended up following the Dark Flower's path, and I became ever more intrigued, if not slightly upset that our family had been torn by power struggles, mistrust, and faith. I decided to learn all I could of this Eilistraee and her followers and took up board at their Promenade. The place was surreal at first, it pained my chest for many cycles to be there, surrounded by an essence that I could not first explain.

And then my sister Jyslin, showed me her heresy by explanation. Her gentle logic continually battered at my defenses of being deviant in mind. The eyes of drow children, untainted by the dominating will and prescence of Lolth. They smiled and played without care or dread of their futures.. nor will scolded incessantly for their joys in being innocent. It struck me hard, and the pain in my chest continued. Jyslin continued her philosophical reasonings and I could tell that even her own words frightened her.

I walked the line between both worlds for cycles following, going from the Promenade to keep eye on my sisters, and to Skullport to check on my brothers. I would learn that my brothers gambled much more than I thought wise, nearly risking death and slavery on a couple occasions. And soon Laele, my sister who bore a child, would be killed and sacrificed to Lolth, and after, to find out she was lost within the DemonWeb pits.

It was then, that the Dark Flower spoke of Arvandor and the Demonwebs, and how my faith in Vhaeraun would lead me to the depths of that dark place. I shuddered at the thought of existing in an afterlife, in a realm fashioned for Lolth. I despised the Spider Queen more than anything and nau, I would not go there.

Feelings of dread, at this logic of Eilistraee, tore at me. I did not want to believe it, but such things were possible, for I had seen them with my own eyes. How could I face anyone without being considered a traitor to my race and faith? I was already damned a traitor in Lolth's eyes. Nau, I would not fall to the Demonwebs.

Tazzen's last task for me was the last chance I had to make a choice. There would be no turning away from either or, now. No walking between both worlds. It was one, or the other.


And so I decided to return that which was loaned to me by Tazzen. An enchanted suit of leather armor and a fine magical shortsword. I made way for Skullport from the Promenade, only to be drugged asleep, transported somewhere unknown and brutally interrogated. The last question asked seemed the most important to my captors. Who do I serve? They asked over and over, to which I replied " Lolth", struggling past the pain and swelling surging through my body. I lied and lied, until the cut off my ear.

When the blade pressed against my last ear, I was asked one last time. At this point, I knew I was going to surely die. All I could think about through my interrogation was what trials the Dark Flower could have faced and how she survived. And Arvandor. It was possible, wasn't it? I wanted to be free from the pain, free from the knife slowly grating through the cartilage near the side of my head. I wanted the same joys as those children had in the Promenade.

" I serve Eilistraee, the Dark Maiden. I know she will come for me and bring me to Arvandor."

I remember my voice when I spoke those words, raspy, strained, but firm. I said them with acceptance. When those words escaped my tongue, I felt a resounding release from inside. And I could barely hear my captor's words as his knife cut through my second ear. Waves of pain shot through my skull and the blackness of unconsciousness became my savior. But I was not alone there. She rested my head on her lap and soothed me with her voice. I cannot recall much, but she was there, caring for me.

I was sold as a slave shortly after, and purchased by a very elusive halfling named Muggles. I staggered, determined to return to the Promenade and give them my service. I despised Skullport for all it's trappings. The wealth and power. The lies. The lust that seemed to slowly dissolve at everyone's true capacity for real passion. All these things drove me onward, stumbling imbalanced by several toes missing on my feet. Each step was excruciatingly painful but I would not give in. Thankfully, a surface elf in service to Qilue and the Promenade found me hobbling, and came to my aid.


I was restored magically and completely by Qilue's faith in Eilistraee. Every mutilated or severed limb was regenerated, and I was as good as new. I was shown that Eilistraee was indeed real, and there was a power to her that was seemingly underrated by almost all of my kind. More importantly, I was shown her care for her followers. Since that cycle, I have never felt so complete.

Now I face greater challenges. To see to this promise she makes. To find a way to live Above, and somehow, peacefully? To seek Arvandor in death by deed here. To somehow gain the trust of those Above and work with them in their fights against those, like my former self.


I now take reverie daily. I exercise, practice swordplay, patrol the caverns that have plagued myself and others with death and fear, and pray to my goddess that one day she will show me the stars. And twilight. And knowingly be shown the enduring struggle an Eilistraeen must go through in order to achieve a place in Arvandor. These things to be attained raise excitement from me. Perhaps it is the adventure of living above and the lifestyle I now choose, that stimulates me.

I am as blind to my future, as a rivven is lost in the darkness I can naturally create. I can only attest that things will be extremely difficult for us all. Assume the worst, but hope for the best. Xas, nothing new.

[Misty]

Very nice!!

[Ogregrim]

A pleasant peek into a growing soul. Very nice. I am impressed at how well he has managed to maintain his optimism.

[Mizbiz]

Oh, I have been waiting so long to read this! I knew one of alfa's best author's had a story to tell, and I have been begging for it.

Thank you, Killy.


*starts a new file for Killy's Gryndal the drow stories*