Two Queer Hounds and The Green Dust Thing

[Varon]

What follows are excerpts from the logs of a session played somewhere along the Long Road. The dialogue has been edited to remove meta-information, spelling mistakes and the likes.

Characters:
Rogard Hammerstad: A dwarf who has a knack for falling down near death in battle.
Von'nes: A she-elf warrior with major atitudle problems and gender issues.
Beleg Thalionestel: An elf... or was he a human? They're all the same to me. Anyway, a nice guy, and the sort of elf you'd want your daughter to go pillaging with.
Galas Chedrion: An elf who's addicted to weed. Literally.
Athar Pendravar: *snaps fingers at his Gnome secretary* Who's this guy again? Fetch me his photo-resume.

Prologue:
Rogard, Von'ness, Athar and Beleg return from an adventure. They head back to their usual DM stalking grounds... Er... I mean gathering place around the camp fire, where they meet Galas, and the following convesation follows...

Rogard Hammerstad: Thanks for the help out there, mate.
Beleg Thalionestel: My apologies for not being quicker.
Beleg Thalionestel: *grins* How is the bump on your head?
Rogard Hammerstad: *chuckles* If you be calling this ant hill a bump, then it will heal well enough.
Beleg Thalionestel: *chuckles softly*
Von'nes: *pulls a handful of coins from her purse* Beleg sold their swords, master dwarf. You want the share you...
Von'nes: ... earned?
Rogard Hammerstad: Thank you, ma'am. But I have had my share.
Rogard Hammerstad: ...of wonders at least.
Beleg Thalionestel: The grace of a dryad is rare indeed
Galas Chedrion: *eyes Beleg and chews slowly on long grass*
Beleg Thalionestel: *looks at the dark clad elf* <e>Forgive me kin, I fear I did not hear your name the night the goblins raided.</e>
Galas Chedrion: <e> I am called by the name Galas.</e>
Beleg Thalionestel: <e>I am Beleg Thalionestel. Well met.</e>
Galas Chedrion: *bows his head slightly, the hood flopping down casting a shadow over his eyes*
Von'nes: *stands*
Galas Chedrion: *glances at von'nes*
Von'nes: <e>I go to rest, kin. Walk well.</e>
Galas Chedrion: *bows his head slightly, still chewing on dry grass*
Beleg Thalionestel: <e>Fair winds to you Von'nes.</e>
Von'nes: *nods*

Stage Directions: Von'ness exits the scene, and the stage suddenly grows brighter.

Rogard Hammerstad: Well, I trust today's folly wasn't as degrading to you as it was to me.
Beleg Thalionestel: *frowns thoughtfully*
Beleg Thalionestel: *softly* We nearly lost both of you.
Galas Chedrion: *glances up* Of what do you speak?
Beleg Thalionestel: *softly* To those orc vermin.
Beleg Thalionestel: *turns to Galas*
Beleg Thalionestel: A fey led us in to the forest west of here to aid a dryad
Rogard Hammerstad: Oi, oi! Can I tell the tale?
Beleg Thalionestel: *gestures to Rogard to continue*
Rogard Hammerstad: We got this little green dust creature coming here and asking for help.
Rogard Hammerstad: Yes, the green dust thing being a dryad.
Galas Chedrion: *listens to the tale and begins to sharpen his blade, removing a whetstone and cloth from his bag and working on the bench*
Athar Pendravar: *shakes his head* That was the fey, the dryad came later.
Rogard Hammerstad: Er... right.
Rogard Hammerstad: The fey.
Rogard Hammerstad: She said something about her tree being ravished.
Rogard Hammerstad: We follow it, and there be a mighty band of orcs somewhere up them woods.
Rogard Hammerstad: And one of them whacks me good on the head.
Galas Chedrion: *sneers at the mention of orcs*
Rogard Hammerstad: And I be seeing .... well... nothing really.
Rogard Hammerstad: I wake up and Von'ness is on top of me, and I be thinking this is hell.
Rogard Hammerstad: Then this tree woman, the .... *motions Beleg*
Beleg Thalionestel: dryad
Rogard Hammerstad: Aye, that one...
Athar Pendravar: [chuckles]
Galas Chedrion: *rolls eyes at the dwarfs lack of terminology*
Beleg Thalionestel: *eyes sparkle*
Rogard Hammerstad: She has me good and fixed, and she's like no creature I have ever seen before in me life.
Rogard Hammerstad: I mean, I be no queer or anything, but I would have bedded that one.
Athar Pendravar: *blushes at Rogards words*
Galas Chedrion: *half smiles* She is spring
Beleg Thalionestel: *nods*
Rogard Hammerstad: Oi, she is. I'll say.
Rogard Hammerstad: She had two mighty fine springs on her bosom.
Beleg Thalionestel: *laughs*
Rogard Hammerstad: I would drink out of those I tell you.
Galas Chedrion: *muses*I do wonder what the stout folk do for romance
Rogard Hammerstad: You're guess is as good as mine, lad.
Rogard Hammerstad: Anyway, she be kind to all of us you see.
Rogard Hammerstad: She gave those two lucky bastards a fine kiss each.
Beleg Thalionestel: *grins* Evidently dryads have power over both our kindred.
Beleg Thalionestel: Or rather all three.
Rogard Hammerstad: No. I be no getting no kissing.
Beleg Thalionestel: *chuckles softly*
Rogard Hammerstad: Lest you mean she kissed... Von'ness?
Rogard Hammerstad: Now that is one fine sight to behold!
Rogard Hammerstad: How did I miss that?
Athar Pendravar: *coughs into his hand*
Rogard Hammerstad: Well, she's done kissing and giving us gifts and all that, and those two lads stop wetting themselves over her, and then she leaves us.
Rogard Hammerstad: I would have wetted meself as well, but I was gushing at too many places to have the power for it.
Rogard Hammerstad: Then....
Rogard Hammerstad: I see two dogs coming at me, all friendly like.
Rogard Hammerstad: And I be thinking, nice tree lady send us dogs to guide us out of the woods.
Rogard Hammerstad: Then one of them comes close to me, wanting to sniff me hand...
Rogard Hammerstad: And the bugger bites it!
Galas Chedrion: *grins*
Beleg Thalionestel: Aye ... near undone all of the dryad's fine work.
Rogard Hammerstad: A moment later, the other bugger is humping me, and eating me at the same time... Not too fun lest you be into that kind of thing.
Rogard Hammerstad: And I'm out again, seeing nothing.
Rogard Hammerstad: I wake up, then it's Von'ness again all over me face.
Rogard Hammerstad: And them two buggers here laughing their asses off.
Galas Chedrion: *ponders*
Rogard Hammerstad: And I be thinking, this is worse than hell.
Galas Chedrion: An interesting tale
Rogard Hammerstad: Interesting? A farce it was.
Rogard Hammerstad: Least it ended like one.
Beleg Thalionestel: Well, you did meet a lovely lass. Twas not all bad.
Rogard Hammerstad: Aye, but I met one very queer dwarf-loving wolf.
Rogard Hammerstad: Well, that's my tale. What do you think?
Rogard Hammerstad: Should I quit the axe and pick the lute?
Beleg Thalionestel: *grins*
Beleg Thalionestel: Perhaps both?
Rogard Hammerstad: *chuckles* Pick the fool's hat more like it.

[Rusty]

Should I quit the axe and pick the lute?

Ack. Not if his playing's anything like his fighting.

[viigas]

thats a true kin =)

nice!

[Blenderhead]

I enjoyed this one too

Thanks for sharing.

[Arkan Bladesinger]

*grins widely*

Dorfs are teh fun!

[darrenhfx]

Very entertaining
Some fine rp'ers on TLR...