A Land Far Away

(scrawled in sharp erattic text) We know who you are, monk. And your moron orc friend and red haired skirt, and indistinguishable white haired elves! You and your pathetic entourage will be flayed alive and our Queen and her family will fine dine on your entrails, with wine and seasonings. And I will personally burn the wild Elf girl alive slowly roasting her over a spit, unless of course she is a virgin, or the monk, who is most definitely a virgin, then the Queen will be very pleased with a sacrifice! And just a note on virgin sacrifices, we don't discriminate based on sexual identity or race, we do get a lot of gnomes though,, not sure why. You think you have defeated us from one little guild house? Soon we shall take all of the city! Except the sewers, for now, anyway. (Signed) Dragon Mage

This began so serious and then... suddenly delved deeper into the realm of Pratchett/Python.

I nominate this for the best IC death threat of all time.

I second that. If they catch up with my PC, it will almost have been worth it.

Shay walks up to the door, now devoid of the note because Dahvet took it down and gave it to the watch. She posts her own note.


Dear lizard-worshipping morons,

Thank you for your poorly written letter. It was very entertaining.

We were going to ignore you and let you live, but the city stepped up and decided to pay us to kill you. So, we are going to kill you. And Tiamat is not going to welcome your pathetic souls into lizard-heaven. Your souls are going to the abyss to be traded and devoured by demons like maggots. See you soon, you stupid fucks.

- Signed, all of us.

P.S. Right now, the tally is:
Us: 30
Morons: 0

I nominate this for the best IC death threat response of all time.

((This is Shein'n's true calling))

Sorry I had to bail took meds and actually fell asleep for a second.. thought I had better get to bed as 4 am toad trip comes early.. 3 hour drive to get MRI and x-rays.. and here it is 2 am and I woke up.. going to be a long freaking day for me. See everyone tonight for gooblun kil'en.

Rumple C wrote:In the Ardeep woods, a curious scene. An elderly man teeters atop a poorly made ladder, applying paint to the exterior of a large dragon statue. "A little on the lips... and a little on the nips, and lets give you a teeny tiny penis..."

After placing a sky blue cap on the dragons head he clambers down the rickety ladder and steps over the corpses of the dragon cultists, before turning to take a look at his handiwork...

The old man looks back a moment, before adding a few words on the dragons tail -Thay is the best!-

"Perfect, Ponlin would be proud".

*Slow clap*