Songs and Stories of Renunzio Buonofortuna (21+)

For 18+ stories, poems and other creative art.
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Ogregrim
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Waltz of the Were Bard

Post by Ogregrim »

With the moon in your eye,
You're determined to try,
A slap and a tickle, and a sweet lover's sigh....
With your lips next to hers,
What so often occurs,
Is the stroke of the bloke to make sure the kitten purs...

With a hand to her breast,
You make yourself her guest,
With some wooing and cooing and then all the naughty rest,
She's a doll, she's a dream,
And you hope that she'll scream,
Out in pleasure in full measure, if you know just what I mean.

He's a joker, he's a card,
He's her own smitten bard,
She takes him well in hand whenever things start to get hard,
To know for sure,if it is he,
Or perhaps mabye t'is she,
Who's struck dumb and succumbed to Love's age old mystery.

And in the end, We may pretend,
Our intent was not to offend,
But innocence is false pretense, with your lips to her back end.
Be it dirty, be it clean,
You know exactly what I mean,
I can't take it, when you're naked, I can't help but be obscene!
It has been my experience that, given the opportunity, people will in the end do what they truly desired to do in the beginning. Save time, let them, then they have only themselves to blame or you to thank.
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Ogregrim
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Mister Walking Hand Goes Swimming

Post by Ogregrim »

Renunzio Buonofortuna:*mister swimmy hands rests on a breast*

Arista :* springs from the lillies and swims to the other side of the pool*

Renunzio Buonofortuna:*little voice* Hey! I was using that.. help! *little hand starts to sink* Blurp!

Beleg Thalionestel: *laughs*

Laurelin: *light laugh*

Arista :the Barbarian Bunny wins again!

Renunzio Buonofortuna: Oh no! Mister Swimmy Hand!

Renunzio Buonofortuna: *fishes the hand out of the water and cradles him*

Renunzio Buonofortuna: Poor little guy.

Arista : does he need aid?

Renunzio Buonofortuna: *pats him, looking worried* I think so.. I don't think he is breathing.

Arista : * smirks in mock concern* oh dear...

Renunzio Buonofortuna: *squishing Mister Swimming Hand with his thumb* Breathe, damn you! Breathe!

Arista : * takes mister swimmy hand to her lips and kisses him*

Renunzio Buonofortuna:* Mister Swimmy hand twitches* Oh .

Arista : oh dear...

Renunzio Buonofortuna: I think... yep..

Arista : erection?

Renunzio Buonofortuna: There is the erection,

Arista : * giggles.*

Renunzio Buonofortuna: *shrugs* He is definitely alive now.

Renunzio Buonofortuna:*little voice* you can't leave me like this!

Arista : and what would you like ME to do about it?

Renunzio Buonofortuna: *Mister Swimmy hands floats on his back*

Arista : * bursts into laughter*

Renunzio Buonofortuna: *little voice* Lower the draw bridge.. coming through

Renunzio Buonofortuna: *aside*This folks, is what we call overconfidence.

Arista: * two bunny ears appear above the water*

Renunzio Buonofortuna: *little voice* Oh no! Not again!

Arista :* stealthly the barbarian bunny stalks through the lillies*

Renunzio Buonofortuna: *little voice* Not the Barbarian Bunny.... keep away from my willie!

Arista : * teeny voice* Raaaaaaaa!

Renunzio Buonofortuna: *little finger hands try to cover the willie*
*mister swimmy hands sinks*

Arista :* the bunny pounces*

Renunzio Buonofortuna: *struggling to rise to the surface, swimmy hand lets go the willie.. at an inopportune moment.

Renunzio Buonofortuna: *Little voice* Bunny! Gasp!

Arista : [Party] * the bunny crushes mister swimmy in her embrace*

Renunzio Buonofortuna: *little voice* Um... so much for that vow of cel i bac y........ oh, buuuuuunnny!

Arista :*bunny* Raaaooooh...

Renunzio Buonofortuna: *little voice* Oh bunny, bunny, *strokes her ears*

Arista : * ears twitch*

Renunzio Buonofortuna: *little voice* a little to the left,

Arista : * with a teeny roar the bunny seizes mister swimmy and compleetly does ayaw with the whole chastity thing*

Renunzio Buonofortuna: *Mister Swimmy hand Twitches excitedly* *little voice* OH GODS! BUNNY!

Arista : * bursts into gales of laughter still holding his hand in hers*

Renunzio Buonofortuna: *little voice* *doubtfully* This technically beastiality isn't it?

Arista : * bunny voice* i don't think so.. we're not real

Renunzio Buonofortuna: *little voice* Oh.. in that case..... rowr. *a lot of splashing takes place*

Renunzio Buonofortuna: Um.. Arista. beloved...

Arista : * continues top laugh tears falling over her cheeks*

Renunzio Buonofortuna:There is an otter watching us.

Beleg Thalionestel: *grabs an ankle and pulls*

Laurelin: *squeals and falls under*

Renunzio Buonofortuna: I love you.
It has been my experience that, given the opportunity, people will in the end do what they truly desired to do in the beginning. Save time, let them, then they have only themselves to blame or you to thank.
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Ogregrim
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The (H)Inn Spectre

Post by Ogregrim »

Why don't you hear of undead Hin? The havoc would be too great.

Down in the cellar, there's a bustling and rustling,
Something is tippling and rippling the trusselings,
The tuns are emptied, and the brandy all sampled,
By the old Inn Spectre, with a belly quite ample.

The springs on the bed, are all sprung and quite bouncy,
The feathers are scattered, and the maid's bosom flouncy,
Her underthings missing, and her eyes all a glitter,
From under the bed, hear the Inn Spectre titter.

The kitchen is noisy, there's a cracking and clatter,
The soup has been ladled, and the sauces are spattered,
The meat has some missing, and taters gone entirely,
Sitting high atop the oven, see the Inn Spectre all smiley.
It has been my experience that, given the opportunity, people will in the end do what they truly desired to do in the beginning. Save time, let them, then they have only themselves to blame or you to thank.
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Killthorne
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Post by Killthorne »

:shock: By the gods known and unknown, you and Arista are strange.

~Zuna~
Current PC: Ethan Greymourne, Ranger of Gwaeron Windstrom
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Ogregrim
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The Patient Stone

Post by Ogregrim »

*Rises and dusts off his breeches*
* Reaches over his shoulder and unslings a delicate mandolin*
*As he strikes the first chord, he seems to grow a little paler, his eyes a little more feverishly soulfull*
*Begins a sad melody and sings*

And where were you, my own true love,
And where were you this night?
I waited long beneath the pines,
Alone in the cold moonlight.

And where were you, my own true love,
When the winds howled chilly and cold?
I waited alone with a chill in my bones,
With no one there to hold.

*Modulates to a higher key*

I was not there, my own true love,
I was far far away,
In another bed I lay my head,
With another I did stay.

I was not there my old true love,
My mind had gone astray,
And all the vows, we had made erenow
I did them all mislay.

*Modulates back to the lower key*

While you were away, my own true love,
By the river I called your name,
I wept full sore and my hair I tore,
But still you never came.

While you were away, my own true love,
While in stranger's arms you slept,
I waited long, with a mournfull song,
And alone, so alone I wept.

I wept for you my own true love,
And I waited and waited alone,
By the riverside,I lay down and died,
And my body it turned to stone.

And here this stone will wait for you,
It waits and ever will,
A cold grey stone, waiting all alone,
Till you come, it is waiting still.

Till you come it is waiting still.

*Fades the melody away*

*Is siezed by a fit of coughing, and gently puts the mandolin away, sinking to the ground dizzily*
It has been my experience that, given the opportunity, people will in the end do what they truly desired to do in the beginning. Save time, let them, then they have only themselves to blame or you to thank.
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Mizbiz
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Post by Mizbiz »

Sweet.
I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.~~Groucho Marx
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wvincenti
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Post by wvincenti »

Beautiful Ogregrim.
Seems I missed some painful drama whilst I was away.
Poor Renunzio.

-Bill
  • Currently NWN1 ALFA: Ryld Ky'bler
    Currently NWN2: Gwindor Faelivrin, still not actually dead!

    Formerly: Timyin Tim, Glorfindel Inglorion and Beleg Thalionestel amongst others.
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Inwintersshadow
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Post by Inwintersshadow »

Nice work Ogre, poor Renunzio...
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Ogregrim
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Post by Ogregrim »

Rain in the evening,
I am believing
Though we're soggy and wet,
We are not finished yet.
I can't help but thinking
I'd rather be drinking.
Or eating, or sleeping or placing a bet.

But no good complaining
About all the raining,
And no good grousing
About all the dowsing,
And I'll tell you why...
For when it is over,
Although we were sober,
No one will be able to say we were dry.
It has been my experience that, given the opportunity, people will in the end do what they truly desired to do in the beginning. Save time, let them, then they have only themselves to blame or you to thank.
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Ogregrim
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Rainsong

Post by Ogregrim »

Lately I've been hearing,
Everyone complaining,
That they are wet and soggy,
All because of raining,
But stop and consider
While the rain is pouring,
That it makes for just a little
Less rain the clouds are storing.

At least it is no desert,
In which we are living,
The grass is all the greener,
For the rain the clouds are giving,
And rain won't last forever,
Despite all of the wishes,
Of hungry turtles swimming
After all the fishes.

Hear the thunder rolling,
So rain...
And if you are patrolling,
Be wise,
And mind where you have trodden
'Cause, puddles,
Will leave your feet besodden
And look,
And know your scent is covered,
So rain,
It is romantic for the lovers
So rain.

So rain...
Rain and Rain some more..
So rain....
That is what clouds are for..
So rain...
You won't need to melt or,
Complain...
If you have proper shelter..
so Rain.

So Rain

SO RAIN

so rain.

Aw... you get the idea.
It has been my experience that, given the opportunity, people will in the end do what they truly desired to do in the beginning. Save time, let them, then they have only themselves to blame or you to thank.
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Ogregrim
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The Songbird and the Serpent

Post by Ogregrim »

*plays quietly upon his pipes*

*leans back against the tree gazing up at the sky behind the boughs*

*sings*

A wee, bonny bird sat high in a tree,
Singing a song his heart full of glee,
A bonny little lark of a bird was he
As he sang his song to the morning.

Though the clouds did gather dark on high,
And black and gray did colour the sky,
And soon the wee bird was too wet to fly,
As he sang his song in the morning.

A long green snake draped upon the limb,
Lifted his head all scaled and grim,
And said with sly smile,"T'is your funeral hymn,
That you sing so sweet this fine morning."

Piped the merry bird with a twinkling eye,
"If it must be a dirge, T'is not I who shall die,
For I peck just as well when I do not fly,
When it is fight or flight this fine morning."

Twas just at that moment came a mighty crack,
And a thunderbolt tossed the snake on his back,
And said the snake, ere his eyes went black,
"Bedad, you singers have hard peckers in the morning!"
It has been my experience that, given the opportunity, people will in the end do what they truly desired to do in the beginning. Save time, let them, then they have only themselves to blame or you to thank.
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Mizbiz
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Post by Mizbiz »

Fantastic!

"Hard peckers" :lol:
I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.~~Groucho Marx
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Ogregrim
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Epimethius

Post by Ogregrim »

Tell me, Epimethius,
How is your bride today?
I hear she has pretty little box,
With which she likes to play.
It's soft and pink,
And pretty, don't you think?
It's the lovliest of it's kind.
So tell me, Epimethius,
Why you left the instructions behind.

Tell me, Epimethius,
Have you opened up the lid?
Have you seen the pretty little treasures,
Your lovely wife has hid?
Is it candy, is it toys,
Is it lovely little boys
That she has stored away?
With what sort of thing, Epimethius,
Does your pretty little wife like to play?

Tell me, Epimethius,
Has she even broken the seal?
Has she taken the tiniest peek,
To see what her box conceals?
Did she slip her hand inside,
Or just fling it open wide,
Did she know what it was all about?
Do tell me, Epimethius,
What did Pandora pull out?
It has been my experience that, given the opportunity, people will in the end do what they truly desired to do in the beginning. Save time, let them, then they have only themselves to blame or you to thank.
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Misty
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Post by Misty »

i like lots


*closes box*
Last PC: Laurelin ~ dancer, trickster and professional pain-in-the-backside


Currently living like Rip van Winkle.
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wvincenti
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Post by wvincenti »

*laughs*

Keep'em coming Ogre.

:-)

-Bill
  • Currently NWN1 ALFA: Ryld Ky'bler
    Currently NWN2: Gwindor Faelivrin, still not actually dead!

    Formerly: Timyin Tim, Glorfindel Inglorion and Beleg Thalionestel amongst others.
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