On the edge of a coin toss - Allina's Journal.

[Coaan]

(I figured with the new forum here, this was an appropriate place to put an IC journal and not clog up the library with things relating to Baldurs gate specifically. I'm not that good of a writer, but it does let me keep my thoughts organised )

The 'Gate.
17th Tarsakh,
1375 - The Year of the Risen Elfkin

Recent events centering around Baldurs gate and the Sword coast have encouraged motivated me to start keeping a journal that I can record my adventures delivered by the Lady, and so that I can mourn the loss of friends in private.

I have never been good with loss or expression in the extremes. Passion of any kind has an annoying habit of influencing this power I apparantly inherited. I have no idea how long this stigma was laying dormant in the blood of our family, but somehow, I was cursed with the 'gift' of destruction. It's hard to explain and even harder to put into words - From what I have discovered myself, It is energy, although it is not born of the weave like most other magic...I do not have to prepare, or study; I simply will it.

The problem is...I don't know where this energy comes from. I have spoken with countless scholars on my travels and they were all as puzzled (though perhaps not as scared to death as I was of losing control) as I am over what fuels this power. The energy itself is vile though, I can tell that much whenever it's used - it doesn't just harm people, it destroys them from the inside out if they are subjected to enough. I could only look on in horror as the power I commanded reached in and ended Jolene's life from within her nexus as the others called it ; Her place of power and life.

Not by hurting her - By Brutalizing her.

What truely scares me is that I willed the end wrought on her. I controlled it and snuffed out her life as casually as someone might look to buying vegetables from a stand. That's not the kind of person I wanted to be, or even the kind of person I could like. I'm not a killer.

Then there is all the death lately..so many of the friends I had made since coming to the 'Gate are now gone. Flora, Isolde and Aelsarque..

Ael.

I think I did love him. It has hurt so much this last while that I can't put my feelings into words, nor would they do justice to how much I've come to miss his smile and care free attitude when it came to adventuring. Maybe he was blessed by the Lady as he burned so brightly while he was alive....I don't think anyone could have said that he stood by and waited for fortune. He had a dream and goals, he stove to see those goals take fruition and form, a legacy that he has now left with me.

One that I intend to see whole before I toss the last coin.

His goal was to create a hall that any adventuer could stop into from the road and find somewhere to lay their head down, to rest and recover before setting back out along the road. It can be expanded ofcourse as needed, and we have the location - I think we had decided on the old ruins near to Baldurs Gate. If I do nothing else with my life, I will see that this place comes into exist and stands for an age, regardless of whatever problems we face. It will be my gift to him, the only one I have left to give.

We have other problems here too....Jolene's death has caused a gap in the balance of power and that lack of restraint has caused a banshee to rise as a direct threat to the safety of the region. As if in balance, another side has risen in opposition, a group of hags that intend to wipe the undead out and take over their kingdom. I'm not sure either option is preferrable.

Yet what can we do? We are caught between a rock and a hard place, effectively.

Also, I doubt Ashan would approve of my dalliances with Tragedy, though I'll be damned before his cries for vengeance go unheeded. It's a feeling I know all too well and I intend to help him through his.

[Coaan]

The 'Gate.
19th Tarsakh,
1375 - The Year of the Risen Elfkin

I'm writing this from within a nice big soapy bath and more now than ever, I'm glad this journal is waterproof. After tonight, ugh.. I seriously needed this bath just to wash out the smell of rum and the feeling of vileness that remained after we had dealt with that fat slob. To think he was so close to having his way...Ugh.

So much is happening at once that I feel like I am caught up in a whirlwind of action and reaction, cause and then effect, and true to a whirlwind, I am powerless to stop it or even remove myself from it's tempestuous path.

I feel like I need to explain myself just so I know what exactly it is that I am trying to say, because I don't fully understand the whole situation myself. On one hand, there is the recent problems that Jolene's death has prompted, in the form of an Irate Banshee by the name of Striga fura and a Hag that intends to overthrow her and claim the exact same space, causing the exact same problems...yada yada. I don't like either outcomes and if I can, I'll make sure that neither get a foothold in the forest.

First of, there was an official that had sequestered our attention to act as guardians for a criminal they wanted released and out of their prison cells. The look in his eyes and the conditions there...I all but agreed on the spot to help free him and watch over him. Me. HA! I can't even stop myself from getting in trouble, how is he going to avoid it? The job pays I guess and he is soemthing of a 'cat burglar'. His skills might come in handy some point down the road...we'll see.

So after we carted him away to the bathhouse to let him wash up and eat, we ran into yet another minion of Striga fura's, an elf that Ashan seemed to know. I'm beginning to suspect that these wraiths are using illusions to hide their true forms and in that case, I ought to be able to shatter them with a fair amount of ease..it would definatly make finding them alot easier. Regardless, Ashan's presence caused his disguise to flounder and then he fled, through a wall, though not before trying to draw us into a trap. (which we later sprung because I was being in a funny mood about leaving the roads full of nasties.) As a result of the Wraith's appearance, 'Red Cat' as the jailors had called him, legged it. I'm not so sure it was fear now, but I'll deal with that later on.

Ashan and I ended up paying a visit out towards the trap, after everyone had slipped off to attend whatever they needed to and we sprung the trap, which turned out to be a specific trap to kill us. It was interesting to note that the banshee was hurt by the strike we made against that inn...we destroyed alot of zombies and wraiths, enough so that she's taken notice of us and tried to cut a deal ; leave her alone in the forests and she won't attack the city. We know better than to trust wraiths, though the one who delivered the message did seem honourable, oddly enough.

On the other hand, there is Tragedy.

The more I help him, the more I realise that we aren't so different...we've both lost loved ones and we both want to take vengeance on their killers. So I snuck off from Ashan and Redney, then set about helping him. He had come across the first in what may prove to be a very long chain - That Tyrran wanted proof, so we are going to have to work up the ladder, so to speak, to acquire it.

I did what I do best. I improvised and worked to the merchant's weaknesses....hedonism apparantly. The act of innocence and someone down on their luck came so freely when I was infront of that disgusting pig, that it almost disturbed me. It wasn't terribly long before the ruse had worked and I had him alone. (albeit, that ridiculous outfit he had me wear was cold.) It was a simple matter then to draw a dagger and put the tip to his throat, especially with his breeches about his ankles.

We acquired the information we needed to move forward.

Then he died.

I don't know if he deserved to die or not, it's just...I wanted him to, just for what he would have put me through if he had been given the chance. More than anything, it disturbs me that I could actively want the death of anyone, even if I'm not strictly a saint.

Father would be disappointed, I think.

[Coaan]

The 'Gate.
22nd Tarsakh,
1375 - The Year of the Risen Elfkin

Just a short entry today, mostly to keep my thoughts organised.

I caught up with the inmate we agreed to watch over today and we appear to have gotten off to a good start. Soon as we met, I was pulled aside by the host of the Helm and cloak though for some 'delicate' work, which would turn out to be stealing a ring from one dwarf to give to another, all in the name of love.

We were offered some nice things, so we agreed and went ahead with the idea...I was the 'distraction'.

I cannot bloody believe I ran into the tavern, in nothing but a loincloth...and they didn't even pay attention!! They were listening to some stupid song over looking at me.

I felt insulted.

Especially when the innkeeper called the guards...I've never ran so fast in my life. It WAS one hell of a thrill though. In the end, and I'll call this 'plan a', we didn't manage to get the ring this time round and I almost got dragged up to a room by some randy northman. The indulgant part of me was screaming for not accepting and getting a night of pleasure.

Feh, oh well.

We got the ring eventually, after the use of an invisibility potion, when Casen couldn't get ahold of it without being spotted. I almost got arrested for streaking through the inn as well. Sure can't be claimed that I'm a prude, anyway.

All in all, another exciting day in the life of crime.

Scribbled in after
Note to self, get more invisibility potions.

[Coaan]

The 'Gate
26th Tarsakh
1375 - The Year of the Risen Elfkind

I am in so much trouble and I have no idea how I'm going to get out of this one.

A summary of everything that went wrong today , then I'll explain

I managed to :-

Almost get enslaved to Thayans,
Get sold to an individual called Gelgis.
Confirmed my blood is 'tainted'
Utterly failed to steal that book.
Got myself clubbed over the head and almost imprisoned.
Feel like I betrayed Casen and probably wrecked any chance of a parnership.
Lie to those who care about me.

What's worse is that while I was there, the Thayans took me for some dirty little peasant girl and made mention of Striga Fura. It would appear that they were (or are?) involved in the creation of her undead forces - Perhaps even supplying muscle within the city and I Can't tell anyone without effectively condemning myself as a liar and a thief, something I do not want to do as it'd pretty much destroy whatever reputation I had built up from Jolene and helping Tragedy.

I'm beginning to think that I should have left that job for Casen to handle, as I don't have the nessicary skills with locks, hiding or whatever to act like a proper thief. I should have said 'no' the moment they mentioned Thayans, but like an idiot, I didn't. Instead I prepared and went to the enclave dressed as a peasant girl with no control over her 'magic' . They bought the deception after I showed them a surge of what I can do, and had me dragged upstairs by that golem of theirs. I think I was lucky that the apprentices up there only tried to throw magic at me for kicks, it could have been so much worse.

I was kept in that small room, next to the chest with the books and I couldn't do a damn thing to get that them without letting the others outside know I was up to something. What the hell was I supposed to do? I was stuck and then this 'Gelgis' appeared from below. He claimed to be an expert on 'things like me' - Thing? I'm not a thing. I'm a person. It made me feel nausious just to be near the man. I don't think I want to consider what he would have done had I actually ended up his slave, or 'student' as he put it - I'm just going to go ahead and think 'nothing pleasant'

Last thing I recall after he 'bought me' was one of their knights smacking me in the face with the hilt of a sword. Sure, I clawed her as much as I could, but to no avail really.

It was Tragedy that rescued me, at the expense of his own freedom, why? I feel less than noone right now, not even worth the boots on my feet. I didn't deserve to be saved from my own mistakes and yet he did....I am not looking forward to our next meeting.

After I got back to the 'Gate, I spent the rest of the day feeling sorry for myself and lying to my friends. This hasn't been my best day ever and isn't helping just how wretched I feel at the moment.

Maybe Casen is right, maybe I am stupid.

No more crime for me (that I can't get away with, anyway)

Added as a footnote at the bottom of this entry.
Something I forgot to add. it appears that the Thayans are also involved in killing off the league of merchant caravans...that statement alone was enough to lead me to think they may be involved in the power behind the union.

At the very least, they are cutting deals with Striga Fura and assisting in the creation of undead for her.

To top it all off, I also had a Dream. About the Past. Before I arrived here. Life is err interesting?

I'm not sure how much this information was worth the price I paid, but we will see.

[Coaan]

The 'Gate
29th Tarsakh
1375 - Year of the Risen Elfkind.

Redney's dead...and I feel responsible for his death.

We went out on the road just before dawn for a bit of a wander, and to make sure the roads were clear when I suggested we head a little ways off the beaten track to look for bodies...as soon as we hit the outskirts of the Cloakwood, we were ambushed by a direwolves and what looked like five gnolls. In the end...I ran, but I don't know why he didn't. He remained behind and for his heroics/lunacy, the wolf tore him apart.

why is it always my friends that have to fall and die? I've lost more people than I care to count since coming to the Sword Coast, although I wasn't directly responsible for the rest as I was for Redney. Is it survivors guilt? I don't know...I just wish I was stronger. Able to keep the ones I hold dear to me safe - that part of my mind wishes I had gone with Gelgis, but the rest of me screams out that it would have been a horrible idea.

Yet another name I'm going to have to carry with me to the Marches. I'm planning to leave for there when I know Flora's fate and inscribe their names on the wall there...I understand that all three were known there and they deserve to be remembered. I intend to carry Redney's sword there and slam it into the ground next to the rock. It's not much, but I hope that wherever he is in the next life, he appreciates the sentiment.

Then there's the matter of Casen...

That makes me his sole 'warden' as they put it. I'm going to have to inform the authorities that Redney was killed, but while I'm at it, I may as well see about recommending that Casen be given his freedom. We both know that he may or may not steal again, and if he does, it's no skin off my nose. I'm just not prepared to let anyone be caged in those dungeons again, regardless of what they've done in the past.

I never wanted responsibility. Now it seems I can't escape it.

[Coaan]

The 'Gate
2nd Mirtul
1375 - The Year of the Risen Elfkind.

What The Hell is Wrong with These People?!

When we're in the lair of two powers that are hellbent on destroying one another, you do not just leave without finding a clue, or a weakness of some kind. Are Casen and I the only ones that understand this? It's a sad day when someone like me is more ferverent in destroying the enemies of the city and of life than a paladin and Tormish.

Ugh.

Yes, we found the 'peak' where apparantly Striga and Bolnak are fighting it out for control of the forest and managed to gain entry into the tower, or crypt. We had absolutely no coordination or leadership, but we went on anyway and managed to get to the end of the second corridor before our warriors decided to turn tail and leg it back to the city because it was safer there. So we had a nice long argument about leaving in the middle of a tower infested with undead and probably made enough noise to wake even more of them up. We made it to the second corridor and learned nothing besides the dead were fighting one another, which we knew already due to the hunter that came in and TOLD US THIS FACT.

Next time they try to turn back for no other reason than it's slightly dangerous, screw them. I'm going on.

A holy warrior that won't fight evil is no use at all.

I had intended to sneak into the tower and learn what we could about the situation, whether Bolnak and Striga were both actively fighting one another, the make up of their forces and whether they were fighting in the halls. I managed to learn one thing however and that was the makeup of their forces. It would appear that Bolnak prefers the use of corporeal undead - Skeletons, ghouls, zombies and the like, while Striga prefers the use of incorporeal undead and shadows, such as wraiths and shadow horrors. This opinion was bolstered by the zombies we saw trying to claw at wraiths outside the tower - I thought it was peculiar at first but now it makes more sense.

They also lack any kind of resistance to my "Magic". At one point, zombies were appearing that none of the others could hurt, save for myself. I hate having to use that power, it always puts me in such a violent and furious mood. There are times when I think my blood will literally boil. The Thayans confirmed my fears, this power of mine is infernal in nature but that is a matter for another entry.

It also explains why the wolves were howling allthroughout the forest - the smell of dead and rotten meat.

As for other news, I'm almost entirely certain that Flora is gone and won't be returning..I can't explain the feeling, it's just a a feeling that crept up on me and slithered up my spine like someone with freezing hands. I should feel loss, but I can only feel a numbness where it feels like something that was a part of me was ripped out and discarded.

All that remains to do now is to prepare to leave for the Marches and burn their names into the sword rock, or in Redney's case, slam the greatsword I'm carrying into the ground beside it. I swore to myself that I would do this one final act for them and the gods as my witness, I'll make this trip. Before I can leave though, I need to speak with Danon...my failure the other day has put him in one hell of a bad situation and I think I need to apologise.

Why he damned himself for me is anyone's guess.

I'm noone of import.

On another note, if we ever go back to that tower, I am taking that full plate, giving to to Calum and lying about where it came from. If we are to continue our spree of screwups in adventuring, then I'd see at least one person come out for the better.

Scribbled at the bottom of the Journal
Things to do :-

Look into accomodation within the city.
Find Danon
Find way back into tower and steal Plate Mail.
Don't die.

[Coaan]

The 'Gate, Bath-house,
9th Mirtul,
1375 - Year of the Risen Elfkin

Dear Diary,

I have been neglecting you of late and for that, I apologise...it just seems like I have been caught up in that whirlwind of action and reaction that I'm unable to stop and equally unable to avoid getting caught up in. Since burying the dead and laying their names and memories to rest in the Marches, we have since come home a little better off than we left. Which has proven to be just as well, given that I find myself in one bad situation after the other.

First was Casen and his fist-fight with that gent in blue. He said he was provoked and I'm not seeing any evidence to the contrary. Regardless of that, it results in our getting thrown out of the elf-song (again) and left to ruminate on the street for a few moments while we decide on the next course of action. By then, Casen has slinked off to the Mermaid and so, that's where I head to meet up with him and discuss what to do next. Everything is quiet here, right? Wrong.

We met up with trouble of a sort, in the form of the vampiress that attacked. she knew that we were looking for the 'traitor son', or her brother as she put it and she was willing to cut a deal, so long as a price was paid. Her price? Blood of a rare and precious type..

Whether it was through sheer morbid curiousity, or through a a genuine desire to help the people of the city, I agreed to let her bite me. She wanted rare...she got rare and unusual. I'm beginning to suspect that I might as well wear a sign that yells 'I HAVE DEVIL BLOOD' because anyone that matters in this city is slowly figuring out one way or another, whether it's through allowing myself to be examined, or having my blood..tasted. I agreed to let her have a taste of my blood in exchange for the location of her brother.

I mean, I won't say it was unpleasant...I was just far too burdered with pre existing ideas about how much being bitten would hurt. In it's own way, I suppose the whole thing was sensual on some level. If I hadn't of being expecting alot of pain, I might have even enjoyed the experience on some small level. What does worry me was the woman's parting comment.

" I will see you soon. Yes, Very soon."

I'm not sure whether to be flattered, or worried that I've apparantly made her list of people to see on a regular basis. I'll deal with it when the time comes, I guess.

On to the second issue and that is the growing conflict on the Sword Coast between Bolnak, What's left of Striga's forces and the forces that we haven't yet seen come into play.

Bolnak
We know she is stealing children to fuel the dark rituals she makes use of, although we did not know for what end until tonight. That vampire's brother confirmed that Bolnak has been opposing Jolene and Fura, along with the apparant controlling forces behind the problem in the first place, with her magic. According to the brother, she uses the rituals to keep them at bay from the forests and event the city itself. What could be so bad that a hag would want to protect the land and even those within a city?

We know where she is though, she has a hut within the wood of sharp teeth. It is here that she brews up these dark rituals and then puts them into motion. A small side effect of this is that it's corrupted the woods around her hut, making travel there even more of a nuisance. I suspect that her weakness may be in the fact that she relies on these children to fuel her magic, although a hag is a powerful creature in it's own right - Taking one on without abundant magical support would be akin to beating your own head against the wall and then garroting yourself with a rusty spike to finish the job.

I suspect the Third Circle might also be able to assist here - Sir Menkar mentioned that he would consult their lore master for any specific recorded weaknesses of Bolnak and her followers, although the chance of that happening is probably fairly slim.None the less, they did mention that they intend to remove the threats and I believe that working together on them with this might be a good idea.

There's alot more to write, but I think I'm going to save it for the next entry as my head is still a bit dizzy at the moment.

Things to do.
Contact Lucy about Alexis,
Create a simple story about being ambushed by a vampiress on the road.
Find Danon.
Gather allies to help in the fight against Bolnak.
Avoid house-sized spiders.

[Coaan]

The 'Gate
11th Mirtul
1375 - The Year of the Risen Elfkin

I am slowly growing to despise my so called 'allies'

I can almost see why my great-grandmother did what she did, if she had to deal with the same kind of people. Why is it the religious amongst us that always insist on being blockheaded, obstinate and generally unhelpful? I spent the better part of two candlemarks trying to get word of this so called prophecy from Ashan and then Iolas shows up and gets told the whole thing within a few moments.

What the hell?

Are these people trying to deliberately piss me off, or are they just doing it unintentionally? Tell of a damned creature MADE OF ADAMANTINE could have been useful to know before this whole thing began.

So, it's slightly interpretated..

And so it will come to be sister, that the calamitous forest of the cloak will be swallowed whole by an omnipotent force. Enemy of our slayer, this Mogul will come from afar with a burning hunger to destroy the heroes and defenders of the land.

None can stand in our tyrant's way and we will watch from our graves with pleasure and delight. For none are so venerable in their accomplishments as our conqueror."

He followed up with this.

"The True Conqueror, which will infest the forest of Cloakwood and the area near is the creation of the god who no longer cares, a creation hatched from the death of stars and forged from metal as strong as the multiverse itself."

I'd like to know where I've apparantly heard these before, because this is the first I've heard of these so called prophecies. I'm thinking that it may be better to cut them out of the picture altogether and stop feeding them information ; something already been inflicted on me.

Regardless, this sheds some new light on the situation and removes the idea that this little struggle is related to the blood war in some way. The question I have though is why would Ao let a creature he created roam free on Toril unchecked? I didn't think he even took notice of the affairs of mortals. Could it be an inevitable? I have heard mention of them made before in old stories meant to terrify enemies and keep unruly children in line...It is said there are four of them and each fills a role, helping to bring balance, order and justice of a kind to a multiverse that is constantly changing and shifting from one state to another.

If it is an inevitable though, why would it have come here?

Even if it isn't, what kind of creation is clad so fully in Adamantine that it can be called an omnipotent force? Questions that I don't have answers for.

As for our hapless heroes, I severely doubt they will bother asking around for some kind of help, so I'm going to do so in their stead.

The Third Circle is a definate to ask for assisance - The Hag concerns them and so does the theft and murder of innocent children. Danon, Maybe? I have yet to speak to him since our last meeting on the high-way road. He doesn't even know of the dream I had of him and the night he was captured and imprisoned.

Zendor and his band? I have an idea for drawing the hag out into a confrontation, enough that we could probably get a small group in from the side and get the children out while she's distracted by the main group. The idea I have requires that we hunt down a capable illusionist though, along with Zendor himself. Need to discuss that with Bentley.

Searat has also chosen this time to disappear without so much as a trace. I'm not looking forward to meeting Tylisa again.

I'm growing oh-so-tired of having to jump through flaming hoops just to be kept in the loop, so to speak.

[Coaan]

The 'Gate.
15th Mirtul
1375 - The Year of the Risen Elfkin

Imagine for a moment..

That going from bad to worse traditionally is like having to fight a bugbear after you've defeated a goblin, or having to lie to your beau right after you've commited a crime and he can't know. Have that image, diary?

Good.

Then picture being trapped in the ninth level of hell as a slave for some pit fiend's amusement, chained to some spike bearing pillar, unable to leave or look away.

That's something like the current situation I'm in.

To Recap - I found Danon tonight finally, or rather, he found me in my inn room...I managed to apologise for my stupidity the last time we met and then explained a little about what's being going on, specifically about the dream I had of him and the corrupted fist members.. He didn't take the news too well and resolved that a visit would be paid to the Thayans at some point.

I thought this meant the *two* of us, so I prepared appopriately and went, knowing full well that they would know who I was from last time. I went anyway and tried to speak with them about their dealings against the merchant union and their involvement in messing with my dreams. The wizard denied it at first although it was fairly obvious that they had played a part in manipulating my dreams. I would only find out something of a truth later on, after the sun had truely fallen from the sky and left only the blank, morose sky. We had gotten to the point in the meeting where the Thayan would only respond with cryptic responses when we were interrupted.

By Danon.

He had tried to sneak into the enclave using invisibility and had been caught by the wards they had prepared...it was only the fact that they were wanting to cut a deal that kept both of us alive, although the deal turned somewhat south and he was imprisoned until I had somehow convinced the hag to start harrasing merchant caravans moving up and down the coastway. I had suspected the thayans of being the power behind the union, although they confirmed that this hidden group was more than a match for even their powers. If not the Thayans, who then? The only group I know that posseses such a fearsome reputation and reach is the Zhentarium

Who the hell could frighten the Thayans to the point where they hide behind the documents prepared by the Dukes themselves? This is a question that needs answering.

Regardless, I was forced to agree to their 'deal' and set out to try and convince the hag to start raiding the roads. I was almost where they said she'd be when the traitor son caught up with me ans questioned my motives for doing what I was about to. We talked for a while and in the end, he explained that the thayans had been playing me for a fool, going as far to manipulate my dreams, so that I saw *his* point of view.

In the end, he called his siblings to him and had them free Danon, from both his captivity and his life..from what I understand, they were going to offer to turn him, although I do not know if he accepted..

Why is it that everything I touch turns to stone? that everyone I dare to care for dies horribly?

I had no idea what to do last night, but now it is somewhat clearer. I'm not going to give up. Whatever is behind that union needs to be exposed for the cesspit of corruption that it is, and then the fist needs purged. It's alot of work to be sure, but I'm resolved to see this through to the end now.

Though I suspect it will end badly.

To sum up - Danon is dead, the Thayans are going to know that I didn't go through with it and now they know that I'm aware of their involvement to help Striga. Couple that with the fact that Bolnak is still stealing children and the traitor son used up his last valuable favour getting me out of a rut?

Yeah, it's not been a good tenday.