Bluebird’s song

Member created stories, poems, & other creative work.
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ravin
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Re: Bluebird’s song

Post by ravin »

Hours later Wren sat at the Beer Golem waiting for her time on the stage. Her mind tripped back to the night’s goblins and the rats of the hills.. those rats....they definitely warrant a warning.

She sets her quill in motion.


Rats

Nighttime falls and shadows rise
From the shade, a hundred eyes
Hungry, swarming , writhing mass
One false move could be the last

In the light I face them down
Dozens of them all around
Blade and bow drawn in a flash
One breathes fire so watch your ass

Out from fetid nest they spill
Like a surging tidal swell
The hoards advance on tiny paws
To devour with gaping maws

Amid the scamper and the scurry
On two legs standing huge and furry
A creature out of nightmares doom
Red eyes blazing in the gloom

We cut them down yet still more rise
Maddening hunger in their eyes
No course now but to retreat
Behind us the thunder of tiny feet

Back to the gates out only path
To escape the ratty wrath
We close them quick and bar them fast
Our safety sure at last

So my friend , I share this tale
Of fear to make you pale
A warning to give your spine a chill
Of dangers lurking in the hills



She sits back, both pleased and a little scared of her own work.
She tries to make it less frightening by scribbling a small rat in the corner. It doesn’t help. With a shake of her head she picks up the book and heads to the stage.
Current PC:Wren Bluefeather
Finnea Chaestina

<Maxcell> as I was saying, nobody steps on a virtual crotch like Ravin
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Re: Bluebird’s song

Post by ravin »

The notebook lay open on the floor next to her. Songs written in haste and emotion scrawled across the pages.

Storm


Thunder rolls across the sky
Rain falls down like tears
The distance between you and I
A gulf of endless fears

The storm within my broken heart
Screaming love and pain
Ideals are being torn apart
All for love in vain

What never was can never heal
Just can’t stop the storm
Wanting doesn’t make real
Even if these feelings swarm

More the fool for unreal hope
The heart it never learns
Hung with my own silken rope
Tears un-shed still burn

Cruel to hope, wrong to hate
The maelstrom churns inside
Yet still I want to test this fate
So through the storm I fly.

———

Love, you bitch

You made me feel
Gave me hope
Felt so real
Then said “ nope “

I was the fool
Played the game
Should have known
It’d end the same

You bitch

Felt too much
Fell too fast
Stupid girl
It never lasts

Love , you bitch

Really thought
This was it?
Then you cry
The truth is shit

Tell the truth
You were blind
Broken heart
Now left behind

You bitch

Fool yourself
Break your heart
Let your self
Get torn apart

Foolish child
You always knew
Can’t lose him
If he don’t love you

Love, you hateful bitch.

————-


She balls up the cloak again and shoved her face into it. Taking a deep breath, she looses a scream from deep within her soul.

Pouring out all of the conflicting waves of pain, loss, self loathing, embarrassment, betrayal, impotent rage at the unfair, uncaring coldness of the universe. The indifference to a loving heart.
The desire to hold to love, to fight the impossible , to cling to hope and try to nurture the stillborn affection.

Days had come and gone since her last successful reverie. It was wearing on her. She rolls on to her back . Laying on the bed roll that has once belonged to Vale . She stares at the ceiling and whispers.

“Corellon....what do I do?”
Current PC:Wren Bluefeather
Finnea Chaestina

<Maxcell> as I was saying, nobody steps on a virtual crotch like Ravin
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Re: Bluebird’s song

Post by ravin »

The book still lay where she left it. On the open page a new song penned in a lighter, more controlled hand.

Wren has spent the whole night staring out the window, watching the stars and the moon chasing across the sky.

Once the tears and anger had subsided a strange kind of peace settled over her. Along with the odd serenity came a clarity that had been obscured by torrent of emotion.

She didn’t know him. She only knew the ideal of him . As a performer, she of all people should know that ideals are dangerous because they have no flaws.

Love, real love is a flawed, awkward often difficult thing.
Infatuation exists in ideals. Love starts in truth.

Silently, she watched the dome of the heavens turn. Her mind and heart turning with it.

If there was going to be real love, there needed to be truth.

She would help him find his truth, and in doing so, maybe find her own.

Dawn was breaking before she had set quill to paper.

Pale fog hangs ore empty streets
Darkness turns to gray
Two worlds collided in moments fleet
When nighttime touches day

Morning light on chimney spires
Like flowing liquid gold
Splashing across rooftop tiles
As shadows lose their hold

A city wakes and comes to life
It’s night’s repose complete
The streets now fill with early light
sun rise a over Waterdeep

Silent moments before the dawn
Peace within the waning dark
Morning mist like loving arms
Enfolds each square and park

This quite time of reverie
No rush or shout or cry
Just the quiet energy
As the end of night draws nigh

——-

The sun was slanting through the window as she finally slipped into her reverie. Peace finding her for the first time in days.
Current PC:Wren Bluefeather
Finnea Chaestina

<Maxcell> as I was saying, nobody steps on a virtual crotch like Ravin
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Re: Bluebird’s song

Post by ravin »

It had been a long walk, but to Wren the company was worth it. He was still detached and taciturn, but there was an element of vulnerability. Something more open in his way of speaking that was not just fascinating, but gave her some hope that he may be finding his answers.

Her heart fluttered a bit at his unemotional invitation to a meal. She nearly laughed at herself. They walked across the city, speaking of research and plans and other serious subjects . He opened the door to what could easily be called a meat shack.

Speaking to the proprietor, he unhurriedly presented her with a skewer of seared meat. The few chairs were broken or taken, they leaned against the wall and ate , exchanging continued conversations.
It really did remind her of the Shadowdale fair that she visited when she was a child. The nostalgia prompted her to attempt to toss her stick into a discarded beer mug. As it clattered I to the mug she cheered . He simply nodded and headed to the door.
More walking and talking. Trading ideas on how best to address the current concerns.
Eventually he stopped at a derelict house. Opening the gate without too much fuss he unflinchingly engaged and destroyed two imps that had appeared amid the ruins.

With bare hands. Was he showing off? Surely not...

He wrenched the horns from the beasts and handed them to her.
She wanted to laugh.
Some girls get flowers...

Eventually they parted ways near the city carriage.
He retreated quickly and quietly into the night.

Wren stares at the newly penned song in her book and smiled faintly.

——-

Hope

The pain inside it poisons me
Chilling to the core
Hate can turn the heart to stone
Become too much to bear

cut me, break me, watch me bleed.
I won’t give up the fight
tear my heart out of my breast
And there would still be light

morning comes, the storm clouds clear.
And all the tears will dry
all that sorrow disappears
I’ll kiss this pain good bye

A broken heart may never heal
Will always bear the scars
But just as long as hope endures
Love once more will dare

When the darkness closes in
And your way seems lost
Trust your heart and take the leap
And love at any cost

A flame that burns deep within
A light that pulls me through
In storm and strife it guides me
And leads me back to you

———
She closes the book and lays back on the bed roll with a thud.
Time would tell.
Current PC:Wren Bluefeather
Finnea Chaestina

<Maxcell> as I was saying, nobody steps on a virtual crotch like Ravin
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Re: Bluebird’s song

Post by ravin »

Wren sat by the fire in the Guild hall. The new violin and bow lay on the table next to her.

The adventure had been harrowing, but successful.
As she remembered the events, she began to write.

Ogre slaying song

In the dark and in the muck
Down we go to test our luck
Far below, and deep within
To bring down the monstrous kin

Dodge the boulder thrown with ease
Bring that ogre to its knees
Sword and bow and magic spell
Now this story I can tell

In the dark and in the muck
Down we go to test our luck
Far below, and deep inside
That is where the ogres hide

We bait them out one by one
Hack and slash until they’re done
Watch the ogre as it falls
Blood and gore throughout the halls.

Deeper still we forge within
Seeking now the day to win
Somewhere deep within the lair
The ogre king we must beware

Daring still to venture on
Ogres fall . One by one
Round a corner did we spy
Ogre king with glowing eyes

The ogres did advance with rage
Behind them cast the kingly mage
Bursts of green and clouds of read
When all was clear, the king was dead

Breath was able to be caught
Relief to vanquish the foe we sought
Returning back the way we’d come
No ogre left, no. Not a one.


Smiling faintly she let the ink dry. She looked into the fire and thought of her beloved mentor. What would he have made of her performance in those tunnels?
Current PC:Wren Bluefeather
Finnea Chaestina

<Maxcell> as I was saying, nobody steps on a virtual crotch like Ravin
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Re: Bluebird’s song

Post by ravin »

Wren lay on the bedroll in her room, her eyes closed in reverie
. Rest had been hard won. A letter written and regretted, a vampire slain. And they all came back alive. She was proud of the small rag-tag group of untested adventures. They had worked together, and come back.
On the floor in what was becoming its customary place was her notebook. This time, instead of a song inked on the pages there was a journal entry, or more correctly a conversation with herself.
-
———————
.
Stupid. Really that’s all I can say about it. I didn’t think before I acted.
Now, I expect he’ll pull even further away.
So many questions at the same time.
What was I thinking? Did I really believe that the magic of my words would somehow mend and open his heart? Perhaps I did.
If I love him why am I trying to change him? Am I trying to change him? All I want is for him to love me back. Does loving me mean changing him? If so , that’s not what I intended either.
The most important question came from an unlikely source. Md asked me what I was running from to make me cling so hard to a man who is probably incapable of dealing with my level of passion.

Am I running?
Vale took me in, gave me a chance to learn. Suddenly I was more that a trashy dive bard. The commission that would put me and the Guild center stage before the whole city.
The tuition to new olmans. No man, no one had ever done as much for me. He had kindness even in his indifference. Or maybe I just perceived it. Then, when we walked together, I saw a vulnerability in him. Something I needed to protect.
But, he doesn’t need me to protect him. He doesn’t need me at all.

The letter probably endured that any chance I had at opening his heart is gone.
I’ve fought with that. Wrestled with the consequences of my actions.
It all boils down to acceptance

It’s done, I can’t take it back or change it. If he chooses not to get close to me , so be it, his decision
Maybe I’ve been too focused on relying on him for protection and support. Maybe I need to learn to be safe without him or anyone else.
Ever since That Night I’ve been afraid.
No, it was long before that. before Vale there was another....
When we met , he was perfect. A beautiful, insane half elf who loved every moment. He flattered and encouraged me. We spent months worshiping life and each other.
Then, as it happens, things changed.
I was bringing in money and he was spending it. I was forced to ask him for everything. When he felt generous, I’d get food or clothes, when he didn’t, I’d get a fist to the gut. He never touched my face. He said that it was the money maker. I didn’t have much else to show odd so the face would have to do.
Every time he did it, he came back crying. Apologizing, saying he loved me and he didn’t mean to hurt me, I had just...forced him to. Every time, I forgave him.
Two years I let it continue. Because I loved him. I thought I could save him, I was wrong. One night I suppose I got enough and drew up the courage to leave. He beat me unconscious and locked me in the inn room. When I came to, the room was in flames, bedding curtains, like a wall of red heat pressing on me. I did the only thing I could. Dove out the window.

I woke up the next day in the local physicians office . Burns on my legs, broken ribs , a broken humerus, and mild concussion.
I was told that “he” had been captured and taken by the town guards. They found several grams of high strength drugs on him.

It was a hell of a way to end a relationship.

Still, after that I still heard his voice, his berating words in my head. So I ran. I went north. Waterdeep is a big city, I can lose myself there. Be free again...or so I thought...

The fear followed.
Then the Guild found me
Asher and Vale
I didn’t think much of him at first. Just some pretty stone faced Sun Elf.
Slowly...maybe not all that slowly I became attached. I saw him as this shining hero. I listened to the story of the Kringus, how he had fought it hand to hand. I watched him fight and I loved his strength.
But there was also something else, a quiet vulnerability that spoke of an unwanted burden that he would still bear no matter the cost.
My heart seemed to beat again. Not only could he protect me, he was a good person who used violence as a calculated measure, not to hurt a woman who wasn’t strong enough to fight back.
He taught me how to fight, how to lure the enemies close and dispatch them.
And I fell in love again.
It was a mistake.
It didn’t feel like it at first. But as we fought side by side, his heart did not warm.
I thought that it might, that day we ran through the hills.
But then the Gith showed up and it seemed to erase the joy of the previous few hours.
Then he walked out. I was devastated. My ideals were being shattered. My heart felt as if it were being ripped out. I was scared. I had come to depend on his solid, If remote presence. In my mind, if he walked out that door, he would never return. He would never love me. I would be lost again.
It was dramatic. He made a point to say as much. I should have seen it then.
I knew I was being selfish. I just couldn’t stop it. And the really stupid thing is, I honestly thought it would change things.
Wrong again.
Then there was this moment. This one, shining , hopeful moment when he took my hands In his and smiled.
He said “ this is nice “. And I swear my heart ruptured.

This was tenderness coming from someone who is going through a personal hell of his own. A single moment that made me feel that we could beat anything, anyone together. I thought he might stay. Or reassure me that I would still see him. Then it all crashed.

I opened my mouth.

The babble of emotion just wouldn’t stop. His eyes returned to the usual distant glaze.
“ dramatic much?”
The words bit right through to my core like an ice knife.
How could he have known that I was afraid, it’s not like I ever told him. This whole infatuation was one-sided. From his perspective I must have seemed absolutely mad. Maybe I was. Maybe I still am.

What’s the definition of madness?
Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result...

Sounds familiar.

Then another outing, another chance. I thought it went well. He was still...him. Which, all things considered is a good thing.

A day or two passed, another outing. Goblins this time.
Romantic choice...
I suppose I should have expected as much.
Training, not tenderness
We felled the goblins, he instructed me on how to play lure.

Then it all went to shit.
I drew one in too soon. We were overcome, I was nearly gutted.
He told me to run.

I hesitated.

In his later lecture, he explained how my hesitation caused more danger for him.
Like a bolt to the heart.
Hard not to take it personally when you’re told that you could have caused the death of the man you love .
We struggled to an inn, he tended my wounds.
I shouldn’t have, but it was difficult not to ascribe some sensual please to his clinic ministrations.

What the hells is wrong with me??

We parted ways and I returned to the Guild.
To think
That’s when my emotions took over again and ran rampant .
That’s when I wrote the letter.
Of course at the time I thought it would change things.
Once again I thought that if I showed him the depth of my feelings it may ignite something within him. I expect it will do the opposite.

The fault is mine. For chasing an illusion. One that I have to let go.

Last night proved to me that vale is not the only one capable of keeping me safe.

I am.

That burden , that responsibility never should have been placed on him. Even if it was only in my mind.

It was never his to bear.

Am I still afraid? hells yes.
Do I want to be alone? No.

But at least now I can make the decision to go forward.

He needs to find who he is. I just didn’t realize, so do I.
Time to start

W

—————
Last edited by ravin on Fri Oct 22, 2021 10:47 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Current PC:Wren Bluefeather
Finnea Chaestina

<Maxcell> as I was saying, nobody steps on a virtual crotch like Ravin
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Re: Bluebird’s song

Post by ravin »

Wren looks down at her book. She smiles sadly and wipes the tears away.

So many lost souls that they couldn’t save, but this one was different.
The boy and his beloved Tonkin slept in the arms of the gods. Loved and cherished as he should have been, as all children should be.

Wren lay her quill aside and turned her eyes out of the window and up to the stars

A bright streak arced across the sky. Traveling over the sleeping city like a silent magic bolt before vanishing beyond the horizon.
Sniffling she smiles.
On the pages of the notebook , the lullaby stands as a reminder of the love that had indeed conquered.


DearLittle one,
so long awake
It’s time to find rest
Until the day breaks

Hush now, my child
Dry your red tears
Hush now my boy
Calm all your fears

Always the sun
will be in your hair
Always the moon
will shine pale and fair

Rest now my sweet
Neith night’s stardust sky
Your heart now replete
Your eyes are now dry

Peace now, my child
The stars shine above
Peace now, my boy
Your heart filled with love
Current PC:Wren Bluefeather
Finnea Chaestina

<Maxcell> as I was saying, nobody steps on a virtual crotch like Ravin
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Re: Bluebird’s song

Post by ravin »

Wren smiles st the notebook. Traces her fingers over the song. The first song she wrote upon arriving in Waterdeep. Vale’s commission. The story that started everything.


Winter’s end

In winter dark and chill
no spell could melt the frost
Of un forgiving will
All life would bear the cost

The Kringus in its lair
Feeding ,fel and foul.
His hissing breath it froze the air
His claws they tore the ground.

His woody skin , gnarled and gray
His eyes of evil cold
Rooted in an icy grave
His horror yet untold

The cry of mercy went unheard
Amid biting bitter winds
No potion , spell nor holy word
Could be trusted to it’s end.

To Splendor’s desperate call did heed
Brave heroes one and all
Tending to the city’s need
Even if they fall

The Adventures Guild did give that night
A list of heroes bold
Led by one Called Vale the Bright
The city’s fate they’d hold

Aglorus, Asher, and Clary
And Nipsy Peanut Esquire
Cornelius, his hammer he carried
Into the demon’s lair

From city wide more yet came
To fight the fiendish foe
To join the Guild’s heroic aims
In caverns deep below


Kalo, Kal and serenna joined
with Adam Payne as well
Their courage and their weapons poised
For decent to icy hell

Through caverns icy, full of fear
The heroes did decend
To face the Keingus in his lair
And Waterdeep defend

The foes they came in ceaseless droves
These Devils made of ice
To the task the Heroes rose
To meet them strike for strike

Clash of steel and Kelemvor’s knell
as bloody battle waged
One by one the Heroes fell
To the frozen rage

With sharpest sting of cold defeat
Soon but three remained
With little choice but to retreat
And lose what ground they gained

Cornelius, Nipsy and Vale the Bright
Breathing and alive
Just escaped the frigid blight
Fighting to survive

Up from below the glacial spawn
With twisted visage rises
Horrible to look upon
A fear they can’t excise

Kringus of the Yule Tide
Demon of the snow
No place for them to hide
Nowhere for them to go

Two of three in terror fled
Vale alone stood firm
Fear a knife inside his head
His blade in steadfast form

Gnarled branch and shining steel
Titans eye to eye
Locked with combat’s fatal seal
One of them would die

Cornelius and Nipsy still enthralled
Tormenting fear they faced
With strength of Will their sense recalled
And to Vale’s side they raced.

Nipsy threw his lightning bombs
Cornelius his hammer raised
Vale’s the beast at odds
And met it’s arctic gaze

Three strove as one that winter night
With blade and bow and spell
Ne’er a more momentous fight
To see this evil quelled.


When roar did fade to quiet din
Brave Nipsy did step forth
And did upon the Kringus pin
The Writ of legal Wrath

Twas Adventurers Guild that won the day
And saved the city so unnerved
Upon the ground the carcass splayed
The Kringus had been served.

The End of Winter’s longest night
And Spring’s return fulfilled
With gratitude to Vale the Bright
And the Heroes of The Guild!




It had not been so long since the verse was penned, but much had changed and more changes lay ahead.

Wren looked toward them with hope.
Current PC:Wren Bluefeather
Finnea Chaestina

<Maxcell> as I was saying, nobody steps on a virtual crotch like Ravin
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Re: Bluebird’s song

Post by ravin »

Wren smiled sadly at the ink drying on the page. It had been a harrowing ordeal for all involved but it was over and everyone...everyone, could rest


DearLittle one,
so long awake
It’s time to find rest
Until the day breaks

Hush now, my child
Dry your red tears
Hush now my boy
Calm all your fears

Always the sun
will be in your hair
Always the moon
will shine pale and fair

Rest now my sweet
Neith night’s stardust sky
Your heart now replete
Your eyes are now dry

Peace now, my child
The stars shine above
Peace now, my boy
Your heart filled with love
Current PC:Wren Bluefeather
Finnea Chaestina

<Maxcell> as I was saying, nobody steps on a virtual crotch like Ravin
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Re: Bluebird’s song

Post by ravin »

The book lays open on the floor. Wren lays near by, sobbing quietly, the last of her energy draining as the sorrow is washed out by the grieving.

Her friend was gone. Not the first loss of her life, nor the most dear. But a child that deserved more.

Thinking back on Tulia’s words gave some comfort.

“ she is reunited with her mother and father, she is happy “

Wren would write her story, even though she knew that Tulia has tasked Clariana with the job. It would not hurt to have two copies. But for now, the song would do.



Spring flower

Springtime’s fleeting flower
May fade to winter gloom
Yet each and every hour
Can see a flower bloom

From loamy ground she sprang
To life filled with fear
She sought out her own way
And became to friends, most dear

Dear Fey child so kind and brave
And all the thing we loved
Your heart within the gifts you gave
Was always more than words

Happy now beyond night’s reach
In loving arms you rest
Sharing with them laughter sweet
And pies forever fresh

Your life, your light , your friends will miss
But comforting to know
That in leaving us you found your peace
Be always in it’s glow.
Current PC:Wren Bluefeather
Finnea Chaestina

<Maxcell> as I was saying, nobody steps on a virtual crotch like Ravin
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Re: Bluebird’s song

Post by ravin »

Wren lay on the plush bed a smile curved her lips. Her book laying open on her chest quill still held in loosely in her grip.

The recent taste of death was but a brief bitter draught, the sting washed away by the events of the morning.

Her head still spun with the memory of his hand threaded through her hair and his lips pressed to hers. In one searing moment all pain had vanished and hope, like the music that led her back to the living world sings inside her. And something more, something torrid and fiercely passionate awoke at the same time . She wrote.


dance with me in passion's fire
sing a song of pure desire
Take my hand and take a chance
Giving in to the music's trance

Let our souls become entwined
A Flame within this love divine
Feel the heat we can’t resist
Leave me breathless with your kiss

Waltz of fire
heart of flame
sweet desire
is thy name
burning kiss
soft and sweet
the Rising bliss
of passion's heat

Dance the waltz of endless fire
Share in love’ sweet desire
sing the chant of passion true
and blazing love long overdue

sing with me in revel sweet
quickly now, for night is fleet
Take me gently to your arms
Let us share in lovers charms

Waltz of fire
heart of flame
sweet desire
is thy name
burning kiss
soft and sweet
the Rising bliss
of passion's heat

Another Kiss to set the spark
Blazing bright to light this dark
Burn with me until the day
Tell me now that you will stay

Waltz of fire
heart of flame
sweet desire
is thy name
burning kiss
soft and sweet
the Rising bliss
of passion's heat
Last edited by ravin on Thu May 16, 2019 7:59 am, edited 1 time in total.
Current PC:Wren Bluefeather
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<Maxcell> as I was saying, nobody steps on a virtual crotch like Ravin
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Re: Bluebird’s song

Post by ravin »

Wren sits on her bed,leaning against wall. her head back, eyes closed, deep in the meditation that for her kind would be considered restful. except that it's not restful. She sighs and shifts , struggling with worries and emotions . beside her lays her notebook, on the open pages not a song, just words. words tying to make sense of the stresses and turmoil of the current situation. words that , this time, could not be put to music.


<i>
All we can do now is wait. we have done what we can to protect ourselves , naturally i'm afraid it's not going to be enough. why isn't anyone else noticing? where are the lords of this city ? Probably in vansa's underwear drawer. It's up to us. We're strong, i don't doubt that. but will it be enough? Will I be enough? I now think i understand what vale meant when he said this was a position he never wanted. I feel like i either come across as weak and fearful or a complete bitch. Neither are going to win much respect. Do i need respect? i'm not a war leader.

i had a group of young women ask for my autograph today outside of the Jug After my performance, it was the strangest thing. and i looked into their faces, young and hopeful and alive and i was afraid for them. i saw them in my mind, turn pale and hollow and hungry. that's what would happen to them if She wins.

and she wants vale.

alright , i don't blame her for that. i want him too. Ultimately it will be his decision that decides the next move. Life or undeath. War or eternal night. vansa...or me? Am i even in that equation?

his new found lust for life certainly seems to include me. But i'm afraid that the bond is tenuous. he's still discovering things. Discovering emotions. If i overwhelm him or become too needy..is that the right word? do i need him? Love? yes. want ? definitely. but need?

that's enough to scare anyone away. i wonder if Vansa Needs him.

why the fuck does this have me so preoccupied?
because i love him and don't want to lose him. because when i followed the music back to the living realm it was his name i heard whispered in my heart.

did Lady Goldenheart send me back so that vale would know what love is? or was it my own vanity, my own desire? am i just overthinking this again?

in any case, it's not that i doubt his choice. I know him well enough to know he will choose life. he may not choose me, but he will choose life.
and war.
and if someone dies, he will carry that burden as silently as comes and goes from the Guildhall. and he will say nothing.

i want him to open up to me, to tell me how he feels. but it's too much to ask. he's not me. he doesn't think that way.
I shouldn't be confused by his kisses, i should shut up and enjoy what comes because tomorrow we could all be dead.
but i am confused
we're on the cusp of a real war here and i'm worried about if he cares about me or just wants to fuck me. Seriously? why am i thinking about this now? and since when did it even matter?
i'm not the kind of woman who just beds any willing man. never have been. maybe that's why . maybe i just want to be more than an experience.

fuck i'm confused.
i can't think about this now. i have to prepare the orders for Charles and get rest. tomorrow will come all too soon.

i just hope i see him again.

W
Current PC:Wren Bluefeather
Finnea Chaestina

<Maxcell> as I was saying, nobody steps on a virtual crotch like Ravin
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ravin
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Re: Bluebird’s song

Post by ravin »

My head is full of so much noise, I can’t think to write. I’m not sure is it’s the situation we all share, the impending assault on the vampire’s lair or the memory of last night.
I know, the last thing I should be thinking about is n the middle of war is love. But...
Ever since the Attack, I’ve felt a distance between vale and I. We haven’t spoken, that’s not really a surprise, but there have been no dead gifts either. The night of the attack, he left without a word.
Serenna chided him for not saying goodbye. I love her but she doesn’t understand how he is.
I could see the weight pressing on him with every step. I didn’t expect to hear from him for a few days. Emotions are slow to bloom in him and not always easy to cope with. But his methods for coping are to put it in a box and not discuss it.
At least that’s what I see when I look at him. Others will see different things.
I could be wrong. But I don’t think I am.
We discussed tactics last night, in my room , away from disruption. We sat, me on the bed , he on the floor.just talking comfortably in the room that was once his. He hates what I’ve done to it. I have to laugh at this.
This whole time I wanted to be closer, to touch his hand. It would have been enough just to have that connection. But when I tried, as I expected he pulled away.


I told him that when this is all over, if we survive, I want him to try and laugh again. He deserves happiness. He doesn’t believe this , of course. But he does. I told him that if he even remotely blamed himself for any of this I would do something dreadful.. yes more dreadful than redecorate his former room.

It’s difficult to know how to approach him. In quite, calm moments there’s a light in his eyes that speaks of tenderness and affection. But recently, he’s drawn back, the cold calculation of battle does that. And somewhere in him, he enjoys it. It’s part of who he is. I would not want to change him.

So, when he stood, I took it as a sign he was vanishing into the night again, I pulled on my coat so I could walk him out.

I was not expecting his beautiful scarred hand to take the collar of my coat and hold me captive while his lips seared mine with an unexpected yet longed for kiss.

All barriers broke. Suddenly, for me at least, the clothing was too much of a barrier. I needed him beyond all reason. The flame between us was insatiable. We worshiped each other, devoured each other for hours without pause , without hesitation , and without shame. We laughed softly, and felt joy in the other’s touch and kiss. All else momentarily forgotten in that perfect union.
When we lay spent , entangled in each other’s arms , his face was one of ephemeral beauty. The soft smile and eyes half closed by passion well shared spoke to me in a way words could not. They spoke to me of the true man. Strength and beautiful vulnerability. A heart clad in steel , able to do what is needed, but also tender within and capable of such divine passion and tenderness. My love. My Vale .
Even if you don’t realize it . You are the best of men.
We rested together for a few hours, simply enjoying the company of the other. Taking this last moment to feel joy before the horrors flood back.
But here, in these moments stolen from the battlefield, we could hold back the tide of sorrows. Could find comfort in a shared passion and quiet joy of teasing words. Even if we had to return . Even if tomorrow would mean wading through blood and shit to do what was needed.
We would have this to hold on to.
This moment blessed by Hanali
Thank you for that , Lady Goldenheart.
My only hope is that Vale felt even a fraction of what I did. That I could bring him some joy and comfort in this hell.
Unhurried, graceful and strong. At dawn, with one last kiss, he departed silent into the mists of morning . With him, as ever, goes my heart.

But I’ll probably see him again soon, returning ,like a cat ,with some dead gift for me to turn into a potion. Maybe it’s his way of saying what his heart hasn’t figured out yet. Time alone will tell.

W

——-


The touch of your hands
Burning like fire
Gone far too soon
But not my desire

The warmth of your arms
The touch of your lips
My heart, for you ,yearns
Overwhelming my wits

My words how they fail
When ere you’re near
Caught in the gale
But nothing to fear

Falling together
Passions collide
Unrivaled pleasures
No longer denied

Lying like this
Wrapped in your arms
Feeling your kiss
This moment is ours

Sharing this night
Feeling you near
You are my light
I’ve nothing to fear

No words are needed
None need be said
Our hearts we have heeded
All barriers shed

Just give me a instant
To prove my heart true
One blessed moment
To show I love you
Current PC:Wren Bluefeather
Finnea Chaestina

<Maxcell> as I was saying, nobody steps on a virtual crotch like Ravin
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ravin
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Re: Bluebird’s song

Post by ravin »

The pillow thumped softly against the wall then fell to the floor amid several others that had found themselves the victim of a bards wrath. The most recent target of her rage was pressed to her face as she screamed into it. Despite the muffled barrier . The scream caused the harp strings to hum in resonance. The fluffy offender sailed across the room to land with its siblings.
Wren thumped on her bed, opened her book and began writing.

—-

Seriously? What the fuck Kal? Is he really that dense or just incapable of seeing anything beyond his own sphere? Kal and Serenna both! As much as I love them, frustrating!
First, Serenna can’t commit to not letting vansa escape because capture is more important than the lives she will ruin. Calm down wren... * illegible scribble *.

I understand why. I understand that Vanrak is trying to kill them and that lady Moonstar charged them with capturing vansa. But they refuse to believe that there may be another way or that others would be willing to help them find it. As frustrating as it is, it makes me sad to think they have and continue to isolate themselves with fear and mistrust.
Vale and I spoke to Serenna, all he wanted was the assurance that if all attempts at capture failed vansa would not be allowed to escape. She couldn’t agree. That hesitation cost them More than jus Vale’s help it mine. It pushed her further away from anyone Vansa has hurt.
The next night, I spent over an hour arguing with Kal about the same thing.
I say “ if all attempts at capture fail, will you agree that she must die?”
What he heard
“ vansa must die “ it took the next half hour to explain the importance of activity listening. Not just hearing what you want or expect.
I tried to get him to understand that he and Vale are not so different. Both strong, proud, brutality damaged men who have difficulty trusting .
The difference, Vale had difficulty understanding and recognizing the emotional motivation in others. Emotions are as strange to him as an unknown language. But he’s learning. Slowly. But the fire is there.
Vale will not trust Kal and Serenna . He believes they would willingly allow vansa to escape if it meant they would have another chance at capture. But neither understand, there will be no second chance this time. If she is to be captured, we must all work as one. Kal thinks he should lead and be obeyed without question. He went on at length about how not doing so has cost lives and brought blame upon him and Serenna. Honestly, I wanted to punch him in the face for whining. I love him as a friend but gods please I wish he would stop acting like a child.
Vale, for his part. As much as I love him , is intransigent as solid stone. Even after I got Kal to agree that vansa must not be allowed to escape he will not trust his word.
He believes that they will go back to their original plan and prevent anyone from destroying vansa should the capture fail.
Kal and Serenna keep saying that they will have to face this alone but it’s not true! They can have the help they need, if only they would give a little. If only Vale would give a little.
The collective stubbornness is fucking staggering.
Is this what having a family is like?
I’ll take what time we have to try and resolve these petty schoolroom issues and get us all working towards the same goal. The end of Vansa, the ability to rest without fear. Seeing the moon and stars and not wondering if we’ll be attacked. My family and my love able to truly laugh . No more fucking funerals.
So, I’ll do what I can. I’ll use my words to try and bring together the most stubborn bunch of people that have ever existed.

Don’t even get me started on Morgan! Fucking paladins.

W
Current PC:Wren Bluefeather
Finnea Chaestina

<Maxcell> as I was saying, nobody steps on a virtual crotch like Ravin
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Re: Bluebird’s song

Post by ravin »

Wren sat, her violin held gently in her hands. The bow drawn across the strings playing a melancholy yet passionate song. The music rising from her heart to vibrate around her in the still air of her room. The conflict, determination and the hope she felt pouring into each note. Aside her on the bed, her journal lay open.

—- https://youtu.be/hDGdzQdvn58


“Change is the nature of the universe. Not even the mountain goes unmoved by the river’s passage.
We stand on the precipice of a great battle. The tension one I have not tasted for many years. Was it thirty or forty years ago that the Dragon Cult took Myth Drannor? Was it then that my father and mother told me to take others and flee? In the tension between attacks, the darkness that gave us cover, those behind us fighting to protect our escape. We, the young, lived. Escaping to the woods and roads. Some, never looked back.
Yet I stand here, preparing as my mother did. With spells and healing for those that hold the line. I stand as my father did, with bow and blade ready to cut down enemies that breech the defense, or die trying.
I called them fools for not leaving. For making me go and staying behind. For so long I was angry. I didn’t even want to be Teu-tel-quessir anymore.
So I sank into the human world. I lived each day not thinking of the next. Only seeking my own personal experience. My own pleasure. Just me and the music.

The music led me to Waterdeep. I came searching for an instrument.
The Turning Lute or hurdy gurdy. But I found so much more.

I found out why my parents stayed to defend a home that may be destroyed. Even unto death.

Love.

Loyalty. To home, family, to the people who look to me with hope and confidence and say “ we can win.”

We can. We must. Failure really is not an option. If we fuck up. We’re all dead. Or worse, undead.

I cant bring myself to write a goodbye letter, in case I fall. The idea of parting from anyone I love...I just can’t.

Vale can detach himself from a situation. It gives him insight that others miss . Keeps him from emotional recklessness. It is a skill I have no ability to master.

Vale says Serenna and Kal will betray us. As much as I love him, I can’t believe that. I don’t want to.

I’m rambling. Probably fear. But even with that fear, I will fight. Because love is always greater than fear.

Hanali , grant me the heart to see this through. Let your music guide and protect us all.
Current PC:Wren Bluefeather
Finnea Chaestina

<Maxcell> as I was saying, nobody steps on a virtual crotch like Ravin
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