The L Files

Member created stories, poems, & other creative work.
Rumple C
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The L Files

Post by Rumple C »

Case Number 1392.6.26a
26 Kythron, 1392dr

Species: Dweomervore Draconis

Age: Unknown

Sex: Unknown

Cause of death: Brain hypoxia
due to
Loss of heart function
due to
Spinal cord separation at cervical vertebra 3, 4, 5, 6
due to
Fracturing of cervical vertebra 3, 4, 5, 6
due to
Repeated blunt force trauma
due to
Provoking violent altercation with Arryn Temple in Julthoon street, Waterdeep

Examiner: Luther Von Wufflebop

Procedure: Autopsy

Location: REDACTED

Reason for performing an Autopsy: Subject genus are both a pest and a danger to Waterdeep citizenry and their magical belongings.

Summary of findings: The subject was seen to attempt theft from the wizard Keryn and her bodyguard Arryn in Julthoon street. The subject was killed in the altercation that followed.

Findings:

Length: 42 knuckles
Wingspan: 37 knuckles
Skull measurements: Criminal brain indicated

Subject has extreme bruising to the neck and head with fracturing of cervical vertebra 3, 4, 5, 6. The subject superficially resembles other genus of blue dragon kind, but with some idiosyncracies. The forelimbs have small and dexterous claws. The tail is barbed with sharp spines. There are no obvious sexual organs, nor anus.

The first notable feature during the autopsy is the stomach is small and without attached pancreas or intestine. Reports suggest the Dweomervore does consume magical items, but there is no clear mechanism of digestion. Attached to the stomach seems to be an organ resembling both uterus and undeveloped testes.

Further internal investigation shows hollow bones as per birds and lizards. Upon skull incision the brain shows an enlarged frontal lobe.

Opinion:

Dweomervores are asexual and must consume magic items to reproduce.
12.August.2015: Never forget.
Rumple C
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Re: The L Files

Post by Rumple C »

Two bells after lunch was the best time for telling stories in gnomish culture. Lunch was over. If people weren't working then they were lazing and lounging and digesting some kind of turnip dish. Two bells after lunch in the city of Waterdeep, in the tavern of the Hanged Man was not the best time for telling stories, but Luther had a very busy schedule. Indeed, he had a small window of opportunity between pulling a rotten tooth, and removing some foot corn.

The Hanged Man was known as a good place to hear a tale, being home to poets, scriveners, writers, calligraphers, and other literary folk. The regulars did tend to smoke pipes, snore a lot,and to be hopelessly behind on everyday news. They were also rude and opinionated, but not of the build or temperament to actually engage in physical disputes. In fact were they any shorter, some might have been mistaken for dwarf by traits, if not appearance.

However when Luther created a flashy illusion and implored patrons to "Come witness the Great Goblin King Battle! of 1392!" a handful wandered over to see what he was up to. The table sized illusory diorama was as accurate as he could remember, and he let the battle unfold, with flashy fireball effects and an improbably giant dinosaur. The battle drew plenty of comment, including some amused cheering for the goblin side. He did start to lose the audience after when it turned on to a lecture on why the sewer goblins are irredeemable and foul and must be wiped out to the very last one. However at the end of the day, a few patrons stopped to chat afterwards and hear more of events leading up to the battle and what it means for the city now the king is dead.

Eventually Luther was just left with the last spectator who it turns out wasn't really in goblins, or battle illusions. He just wanted to make an appointment to have an ingrown toenail removed. With an appointment set that evening Luther took his time, and reinforced his earlier moral of the day. Goblins are a plague upon all good and decent races. He was paid well for the procedure and thanked for his time, though not his opinions.

Image
12.August.2015: Never forget.
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Mick
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Re: The L Files

Post by Mick »

Love it! Thanks Rumple!
Talk less. Listen more.

Current PCs: ?
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ayergo
Penguin AKA Vile Sea Tiger
Posts: 3503
Joined: Sun Jan 11, 2004 8:50 pm
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Re: The L Files

Post by ayergo »

Looking forward to more autopsies!
There's a place I like to hide
A doorway that I run through in the night
Relax child, you were there
But only didn't realize and you were scared
It's a place where you will learn
To face your fears, retrace the years
And ride the whims of your mind
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Akivaria
Orc Champion
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Re: The L Files

Post by Akivaria »

Very cool, Rumple.
"This is how liberty dies... with thunderous applause."

Current PC: Alora Tuffet-Hopper, foul-mouthed and irreverent bard
Rumple C
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Re: The L Files

Post by Rumple C »

Case Number 1392.7.01a
1 Flamerule, 1392dr

Species: Lycanthropic Rattus

Age: Unknown

Sex: Male

Cause of death: Brain hypoxia
due to
Extreme blood loss
due to
Compromised integrity of major artery in juncture of left medial upper leg and hip
due to
Incision by short sword
due to
Being a were-rat

Examiner: Luther Von Wufflebop

Procedure: Autopsy

Location: REDACTED

Reason for performing an Autopsy: For science

Summary of findings: The subject died as a result of blood loss.

Findings:

Height: 11 sandwiches
Arm span: 11 sandwiches, 1 knuckle
Length from nose to tail: 13 sandwiches
Skull measurements: Extreme acquisitiveness and philoprogenitiveness indicated. Extremely low individuality indicated.

Subject has puncture wound on the medial aspect of the left leg located 2 knuckles inferior of the pubis

Attempts to incise into the abdominal cavity were resisted by steel scalpel. A silver butter knife was used, resulting in significant tearing of tissue, but eventual access. Subject has all normal humanoid organs.

Further internal investigation shows enhanced olfactory cavities, consistent with other rattus genus.

Opinion:

Were-rats are resistant to non silver tissue damage.

Additional notes: Were-rats are flea ridden. Regular flea treatments seem to work.
12.August.2015: Never forget.
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Mick
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Re: The L Files

Post by Mick »

I would like to propose that the sandwich be made the official unit of length measurement for ALFA! :lol:
Talk less. Listen more.

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Rumple C
Bard
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Re: The L Files

Post by Rumple C »

Case Number 1392.7.01b
1 Flamerule, 1392dr

Species: Homo Nosferatu Vampiris

Age: Estimation of early middle age

Sex: Male

Cause of death: Removal of negative energy sustaining unlife
due to
Introduction of positive energy into system
due to
Use of 2 cure light wounds wands in simultaneous use
due to
Being a Homo Nosferatu Vampiris

Examiner: Luther Von Wufflebop

Procedure: Autopsy

Location: REDACTED

Reason for performing an Autopsy: For science

Summary of findings: The subject lost animation when the internal negative energy field providing unlife was compromised

Findings:

Height: 14 sandwiches, 2 knuckle
Arm span: 14 sandwiches
Skull measurements: Need for approbation indicated, similar to canine genus. High levels of veneration indicated.

Subject has no visible wounding.

Subject has enlarged superior canine teeth, located between the lateral incisor and the first premolar.

Attempts to incise into the abdominal cavity were resisted by steel scalpel. A magical short sword was used, resulting in an irregular incision. Subject has all normal humanoid organs.

Subject began to reanimate during procedure resulting heart palpitations in examiner. Regular heart rhythm of examiner restored after healing potion imbibed. Reanimation halted by insertion of wooden doorstop into chest cavity, aided by blunt force from mace.

Upon resumption of autopsy subject tissue showed no change in structure when subjected to cold or electrical stimulation.

Opinion:

Homo Nosferatu Vampiris are resistant to cold and electrical stimulation and regenerate tissue damage. They are vulnerable to positive energy and magical damage.
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Akivaria
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Re: The L Files

Post by Akivaria »

Mick wrote:I would like to propose that the sandwich be made the official unit of length measurement for ALFA! :lol:
Alora seconds the motion, because she finds the idea hilarious.
"This is how liberty dies... with thunderous applause."

Current PC: Alora Tuffet-Hopper, foul-mouthed and irreverent bard
Rumple C
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Re: The L Files

Post by Rumple C »

Case Number 1392.7.04a
4 Flamerule, 1392dr

Species: Cubis Gelum

Age: Unknown

Sex: Unknown

Cause of death: Speculated Loss of surface tension
due to
Laceration by bladed weapons
due to
Being a Cubis Gelum

Examiner: Luther Von Wufflebop

Procedure: Autopsy

Location: REDACTED

Reason for performing an Autopsy: For science

Summary of findings: The subject lost movement and locomotion after loss of surface tension due to wounds inflicted by bladed weapons.

Findings:

Original Height: 4 Gnomes (male) estimated
Original Length: 4 Gnomes (male) estimated
Original Depth: 4 Gnomes (male) estimated
Sample Height: 15 knuckles
Sample Length: 13 knuckles
Sample Depth: 16 knuckles

Sample is translucent and reminiscent of egg pudding. Note: Sample tastes like acid and causes lip numbness. Do not ingest.

Due to the mass of the original subject, only a sample was removed for analysis. The original subject displayed no obvious organs within its translucent mass. Sample has no discernible organs aside from a rudimentary epidermis that contains a clear acidic fluid. Sample was strained though a colander and examined for viscosity, aroma, and flavor. Sample has no culinary prospects. The colander is remarkably clean.

Opinion:

Cubis Gelum is both acidic and may cause paralysis. Keep out of reach of children.
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valn99
Owlbear
Posts: 540
Joined: Tue Oct 26, 2004 1:18 pm
Location: Canada (Quebec)

Re: The L Files

Post by valn99 »

Loved it! :)
NWN1 PC:
Now (2017): Bran, naive servant of Lathander, currently thinking about opening a potion shop.
circa 2000: JenWa, proud mother duck and half-crazed sorceress of Shadowdale.


NW2 PC: Kasil Trueforger, dwarven scholar of Felbarr.

Garlus Ironbeard: [d] I was sure there was a reason we brought you along.
Kevorn Trueforger: [d] I'm da funny one and ye're da smart one.
Rumple C
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Re: The L Files

Post by Rumple C »

Image
12.August.2015: Never forget.
Rumple C
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Re: The L Files

Post by Rumple C »

Case Number 1392.7.18a
18 Flamerule, 1392dr

Species: Frigus Fungus

Age: Unknown

Sex: Unknown

Cause of death: Full separation of superior and inferior body hemispheres
due to
Laceration by bladed weapons
due to
Assault upon examiner

Examiner: *Redacted*

Procedure: Autopsy

Location: REDACTED

Reason for performing an Autopsy: For science

Summary of findings: The subject lost movement and locomotion after separation of superior and inferior body hemispheres by bladed weapons.

Findings:

Height: 5 fire pokers
Width with tentacles extended: 7 fire pokers, 2 logs

Subject seems to be some sort of sentient member of the fungus family upon initial examination, superficially resembling Phallus Impudicus, with four tentacles protruding from underneath the cap.

Upon internal examination, flesh emits a pleasant smell. Further examination postponed until after supper.

Opinion:

Subject is not poisonous, and quite delicious. Triple suggested fungus cooking time for subject.

Further notes: I am a fun guy
12.August.2015: Never forget.
Wild Wombat
Frost Giant
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Re: The L Files

Post by Wild Wombat »

Glad that the L files are continuing ... post mortem as it were!

--

Murgen, upon reading a copy of the file he found discarded in the common room of Madam Garah's, mutters to himself, "Informative. But ... I can estimate at the size of a Gnome knuckle and I'd wager that there are five knuckles in a sandwich but by Moradin's beard, how many sandwiches in a fire poker!"
Current NWN1: Murgen Kjarnisteinn (AKA Grumpy Scout)

Current NWN2: Muir Cheartach, AKA The Pale Faced Pie Man

R.I.P.: Croaker Lyosbarr, Knight of Yartar, Lord of Lhuvenhead (NWN1)

"In no uncertain terms, i am adamantly opposed to any ingame mechanics that penalize players for wanting to meet up with other players, when their goal is to roleplay." - White Warlock
Rumple C
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Re: The L Files

Post by Rumple C »

Luther sat, at a desk too big for him, in a chair too large for him, looking at a map of the sewers that was just right, because he had made it. Next to it was a map of Waterdeep city itself. He picked up a Quill, with a little sadness as he reflected on that.

Nevermind.

He marked sewer grates, and canal points over (under?) streets and buildings.

The market. Where the Dweomervore had tried it's luck with him. And there, just north where it had stolen Korsans potion of minor healing.

It had chosen poorly.

The dweomervore in the market was unexpected. He had never heard of them there before.

Maybe...

"Korsan! Come here for a moment and show me all the places where the bad dragons touched you"
12.August.2015: Never forget.
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