Songs of Alora Tuffet-Hopper

Member created stories, poems, & other creative work.
User avatar
Akivaria
Orc Champion
Posts: 489
Joined: Mon Jan 05, 2004 10:36 pm
Location: Mid-America
Contact:

Re: Songs of Alora Tuffet-Hopper

Post by Akivaria »

A Jingle for the Sewers (Performed in a sing-song style with a goblin mask on)

Welcome to the sewers, you idiots
Welcome to the sewers, you fools
Roll out the golden carpet
Pillage this chest of lovely jewels
Yes, welcome to the sewers, you fools!

Come down into the darkness, it's lovely
Come down into the darkness, it's grand
Trust that we have puppies
And the buxomest wenches in the land
Yes, come down to the darkness, it's grand!

Goblins are your friend, child, just trust us.
Yes goblins are your friend, child. Come near!
We've lots of toys and goodies
And you have naught at all to fear!
Yes, goblins are your friends now, come near!

Ignore that rotting corpse now, young warrior!
Ignore that other carcass, too, brave knight!
You'll gain great fame and glory
All it takes is just a little fight!
Yes, just ignore the deaders, young knight!

Welcome to the sewers, you idiots
Welcome to the sewers, you fools
If you believe this garbage
We'll gladly have you, we're not cruel
Yes, welcome to the sewers you fools!

Welcome to the sewers, you foooools!
"This is how liberty dies... with thunderous applause."

Current PC: Alora Tuffet-Hopper, foul-mouthed and irreverent bard
User avatar
ayergo
Penguin AKA Vile Sea Tiger
Posts: 3503
Joined: Sun Jan 11, 2004 8:50 pm
Location: Germany (But frequent world travels)

Re: Songs of Alora Tuffet-Hopper

Post by ayergo »

I wonder if I can make the goblins sing this over their victims.... hmmm....
There's a place I like to hide
A doorway that I run through in the night
Relax child, you were there
But only didn't realize and you were scared
It's a place where you will learn
To face your fears, retrace the years
And ride the whims of your mind
User avatar
ImStrokerAce
Orc Champion
Posts: 472
Joined: Sun Jan 09, 2005 7:41 am
Location: British Columbia, Canada

Re: Songs of Alora Tuffet-Hopper

Post by ImStrokerAce »

Most excellent I say; most excellent!
Current PC:
Mephis the Awkward Mage
User avatar
Akivaria
Orc Champion
Posts: 489
Joined: Mon Jan 05, 2004 10:36 pm
Location: Mid-America
Contact:

Re: Songs of Alora Tuffet-Hopper

Post by Akivaria »

ayergo wrote:I wonder if I can make the goblins sing this over their victims.... hmmm....
You can. The old Wulf's tavern in Icewind Dale had text popups from the NPC's. They had to turn them off though because they could get spammy.
"This is how liberty dies... with thunderous applause."

Current PC: Alora Tuffet-Hopper, foul-mouthed and irreverent bard
User avatar
Akivaria
Orc Champion
Posts: 489
Joined: Mon Jan 05, 2004 10:36 pm
Location: Mid-America
Contact:

Re: Songs of Alora Tuffet-Hopper

Post by Akivaria »

The Goblins and the Cocky Knight

Sometimes in life, you see, good friends
Things can happen that are, say, remarkable
One of these is a knight named Kalo
And his quite unconventional “arsenal”

It takes much more than a rust beast, even two
To put a nick in Sir Kalo’s tools
For a sword as mighty and proud as his
Is like to make all the young maidens drool

Even has his friends flee, struck with abject terror
Great Kalo stands firm, solid, even oaken
A rust beast might peel away his metal plate
But his legendary sword is no mere token

So should you find a horde of angry goblins
And no choice but to quit the field
Stand behind brave Kalo, his codpiece unpadded
For it’s basically a damn tower shield
"This is how liberty dies... with thunderous applause."

Current PC: Alora Tuffet-Hopper, foul-mouthed and irreverent bard
User avatar
Akivaria
Orc Champion
Posts: 489
Joined: Mon Jan 05, 2004 10:36 pm
Location: Mid-America
Contact:

Re: Songs of Alora Tuffet-Hopper

Post by Akivaria »

*The hin demands that the drunks shut up for a few seconds before she sings, in a moment of silence*

A Song for My Friends

A good friend and trapbreaker
The first to go was Thorv
I drank too much at your funeral
As befits a noble dwarf

Next to die was Uda’thoin
Which, honestly, I rather expected
For if he wasn’t charging headlong into battle
It left him a wee bit dejected

Rune and Igneous, though nice enough
I hardly even knew ye
This world can be more than a little rough
And the goblins loved to stew ye

Cullen’s passing saddened me
I may have kicked his dead body
We’ll place a plaque near your favorite privy
Something a fair bit gawdy

I called Tegrin a wool-headed paladin
But he was strong and his battle cry loud
I hope you’ve forgiven me my jokes
And are slaughtering owlbears in the clouds


*When finished, she demands that the drunks raise their ales in salute*
"This is how liberty dies... with thunderous applause."

Current PC: Alora Tuffet-Hopper, foul-mouthed and irreverent bard
User avatar
Gaia_Nostra
Brown Bear
Posts: 231
Joined: Wed Jan 14, 2004 5:02 am
Location: Washington, DC

Re: Songs of Alora Tuffet-Hopper

Post by Gaia_Nostra »

:yeah:
If the enemy is an ass and a fool and a rating
coxcomb, is it meet, think you, that we should also,
look you, be an ass and a fool and a prating
coxcomb? in your own conscience, now?

Former Characters:
(Silverymoon): Q’arq Olafstenza Fry
(Waterdeep/Daggerford): Angus Porter, Cleric of Torm (aka the Slipshod Sergeant)
User avatar
Cleasor
Gelatinous Cube
Posts: 328
Joined: Mon Feb 27, 2017 12:18 am
Location: Colorado MST

Re: Songs of Alora Tuffet-Hopper

Post by Cleasor »

Well done Akivaria! We all hope there is little future moribund material for your songs.
"Having an adventure shows that someone is incompetent, that something has gone wrong. An adventure is interesting enough in retrospect, especially to the person who didn't have it; at the time it happens it usually constitutes an exceedingly disagreeable experience." Vilhjalmur Stefansson
User avatar
Akivaria
Orc Champion
Posts: 489
Joined: Mon Jan 05, 2004 10:36 pm
Location: Mid-America
Contact:

Re: Songs of Alora Tuffet-Hopper

Post by Akivaria »

A Song for Dinghy's Big Day - (In honor of the Christening of Jackman Hull's ship)

To my good friend Captain Dinghy
May your party be a grand success
T'is better than this shitty wagon
Giving my arse a painful abscess

I hope you know I'd rather be
Drinking up your ale for free
Touring is great for the coin chest
But mostly it sucks for me

Try not to get the syphilis
Or fill your pants with fleas
The ladies down round dockside
Are renowned for their extra sleaze

And fret not, my Dinghy, for upon my return
You can take me for a lovely sailing
Just ignore the occasional vomitous groan
And the hin leaning over the railing
"This is how liberty dies... with thunderous applause."

Current PC: Alora Tuffet-Hopper, foul-mouthed and irreverent bard
Peter_Abelard
Gelatinous Cube
Posts: 335
Joined: Tue Jul 01, 2008 3:42 am

Re: Songs of Alora Tuffet-Hopper

Post by Peter_Abelard »

Almost as good as Alora being there...almost.

Great to have another Alora tune to hum as Arryn walks the gritty streets!
Character arcs are sharp, pointy little things. A little blood may spill!

Now Playing: Luva Si'nede, Olivus Angustian
Past Characters: Valyar Floshin, Sarenna Irithyl, Millicent Riverstone, Dev Revels, Catarina Helms, Fenris Estelmer, Arryn Temple, Penrose Hawke, Kara Ravensfell, Arana Belecthor
User avatar
valn99
Owlbear
Posts: 540
Joined: Tue Oct 26, 2004 1:18 pm
Location: Canada (Quebec)

Re: Songs of Alora Tuffet-Hopper

Post by valn99 »

:D
NWN1 PC:
Now (2017): Bran, naive servant of Lathander, currently thinking about opening a potion shop.
circa 2000: JenWa, proud mother duck and half-crazed sorceress of Shadowdale.


NW2 PC: Kasil Trueforger, dwarven scholar of Felbarr.

Garlus Ironbeard: [d] I was sure there was a reason we brought you along.
Kevorn Trueforger: [d] I'm da funny one and ye're da smart one.
User avatar
Akivaria
Orc Champion
Posts: 489
Joined: Mon Jan 05, 2004 10:36 pm
Location: Mid-America
Contact:

Re: Songs of Alora Tuffet-Hopper

Post by Akivaria »

The halfling bard seems to have changed somewhat. She wears a beautiful silk gold and white casual dress. Her hair is styled impeccably and makeup subdued and perfect. She wears a pair of ladies gloves and stands with perfect posture as she sings.

The drunks yawn with boredom as she sings. Some mock her subtly.

___

The World is a Wonderful Place

It's lovely to be happy
To feel the sun on one's face
Clearheaded, bright and colorful
The world is a wonderful place

From the wee little doormouse
To the nobleowoman draped in lace
It's a glorious time to be alive
Our city is a wonderful place

One night upon the mountain
I looked up into space
A billion stars looked back and smiled
The world is a wonderful place

A feather pillow 'neath my head
And my bed a luxurious base
How could I waste the day in bed
When awaits such a wonderful place

The world is a wonderful place, everyone
A truly wonderful place!
"This is how liberty dies... with thunderous applause."

Current PC: Alora Tuffet-Hopper, foul-mouthed and irreverent bard
User avatar
Akivaria
Orc Champion
Posts: 489
Joined: Mon Jan 05, 2004 10:36 pm
Location: Mid-America
Contact:

Re: Songs of Alora Tuffet-Hopper

Post by Akivaria »

*A scrawled unattributed lyric on the inside of a caravan wagon, somewhere south of Waterdeep*

A coin rolling through his fingers
The elf sits across from me
With a single good eye he stares
Unsettling he is, a sight to see

The short one archs an annoyed brow
Defiantly she stares right back
The fook you want you pickled shrew?
And he coughed with a violent hack

Gathering himself, he sat up straight
You know, you're right my wee friend
Let me fill your belly by way of thanks
A burgundy bottle in his gloved hand

My rump recovered and head cleared
The jostling stirred me from my rest
To where, oh where did the elf disappear?
And why does my head feel so suddenly stressed?

Gloriously so, the sun atopped the hill
Beautious red, orange, and lavender hues
Misplaced memories, what care have I?
In the face of such magnificent views!
"This is how liberty dies... with thunderous applause."

Current PC: Alora Tuffet-Hopper, foul-mouthed and irreverent bard
Peter_Abelard
Gelatinous Cube
Posts: 335
Joined: Tue Jul 01, 2008 3:42 am

Re: Songs of Alora Tuffet-Hopper

Post by Peter_Abelard »

The plot thickens! And tastier still for being sprinkled with rhyme. Thanks, Akki! Hope to see Lady Hopper in game soon.

Cheers, Peter
Character arcs are sharp, pointy little things. A little blood may spill!

Now Playing: Luva Si'nede, Olivus Angustian
Past Characters: Valyar Floshin, Sarenna Irithyl, Millicent Riverstone, Dev Revels, Catarina Helms, Fenris Estelmer, Arryn Temple, Penrose Hawke, Kara Ravensfell, Arana Belecthor
User avatar
dergon darkhelm
Fionn In Disguise
Posts: 4258
Joined: Fri Jul 08, 2005 1:21 pm
Location: Cleveland, Ohio, United States

Re: Songs of Alora Tuffet-Hopper

Post by dergon darkhelm »

I really enjoy these entries. :)
PCs: NWN1: Trailyn "Wayfarer" Krast, Nashkel hayseed

NWN2: ??

gsid: merado_1
Post Reply