Roving Entertainment Group of Ruith

Member created stories, poems, & other creative work.
Ladellon
Dire Badger
Posts: 155
Joined: Tue Jan 13, 2004 1:24 am
Location: just north of Leadfeather

Re: Roving Entertainment Group of Ruith

Post by Ladellon »

In gratitude to the exclusive provider of costumes to the Roving Entertainment Group of Ruith, a bit of a marketing jingle . . .

When I see such abusive sights
As actors in amusive tights
I want to give exclusive rights
To Mornbright’s . . .
For all our troupe’s couture needs.

Kind Sarah greets you as you enter
She’s the haberdash presenter.
Viktor’s needlework’s impressive,
Making outfits quite expressive.
Helen, though, throughout your visit
Makes you feel grand, sublime, elegant . . .


*sighs*

. . . exquisite.

Their tailoring is all the rage
In studio or on the stage.
It’s clear we’re in the Golden Age
of Mornbright’s . . .
Stop in for all your couture needs.
Final PC: Regor the Valorious, the ONLY theatrically-inclined half-orc androgyne wandering ALFA, Artistic Director for Cormanthor Stage Productions, one-time stand up pirate and self-educated barrister of the bar.

Former PC: Begor Nightstrummer, Executive Stage Writer and Assistant Director of Planned Gifts for the Roving Entertainment Group of Ruith

Current PC: Sheshe Little Eels
Ladellon
Dire Badger
Posts: 155
Joined: Tue Jan 13, 2004 1:24 am
Location: just north of Leadfeather

Re: Roving Entertainment Group of Ruith

Post by Ladellon »

In tribute to Olivus' bewildering squeeze-attack on a xorn (he did not perish).

Ere our excursion did embark,
The mage I did forewarn.
“Should we chance on one in the dark,
Please, never hug a xorn.”

From Hawk’s Nest fort we did depart
Whilst blared sounds of a horn.
Mage embraced all – ‘twas just the start –
Perhaps he’d hug a xorn.

The mage, once in the countryside,
Turned wistful and forlorn
And, passing by a rock pile, sighed,
“I wish you were a xorn.”

Some dwarves we met in caves northwest,
Though most their heads had shorn,
Received a squeeze and, grunting, stressed,
“Don’t try that on a xorn!”

Next spiders struck from every side,
Both ancient and newborn,
But failed to grasp the mage who cried,
“I’m holding out for a xorn!”

Not far beyond a beast appeared
Through cave floor hardly torn.
The mage threw down his staff and cheered
And ran to hug the xorn.

It ended as you might have guessed –
The mage’s life we mourn.
The moral: When you’re on a quest,
Never, ever hug a xorn.
Final PC: Regor the Valorious, the ONLY theatrically-inclined half-orc androgyne wandering ALFA, Artistic Director for Cormanthor Stage Productions, one-time stand up pirate and self-educated barrister of the bar.

Former PC: Begor Nightstrummer, Executive Stage Writer and Assistant Director of Planned Gifts for the Roving Entertainment Group of Ruith

Current PC: Sheshe Little Eels
Ladellon
Dire Badger
Posts: 155
Joined: Tue Jan 13, 2004 1:24 am
Location: just north of Leadfeather

Re: Roving Entertainment Group of Ruith

Post by Ladellon »

Sung in Silverymoon at the Golden Oak Riddle Contest.

Grimnoshtasdrano, the Riddling Dragon

‘Twas ere Shieldmeet when I did greet
A roving actors group.
Along the road, a cart they towed,
Marked “Traveling Tumblers Troupe.”

From Delimbyr flowed sweet and clear
The run called Unicorn.
Near water’s source, we had discourse
And they sought me to warn.

“Turn ‘round, we fear the road’s not clear,
To Loudwater we fly.”
They plead at length with all their strength,
“Turn back or you will die.”

Then worried they had worn their stay,
The troupe departed east
And shouting more, warned, “Careful for
Grimnosh is a cunning beast.”

I crossed fatigued, but quite intrigued,
The unicorn’s lone ford,
Then turning north, I sallied forth
To forest unexplored.

Not hoards of gold but tales untold
Is what I sought to find
When, with unease, I entered trees,
Leaving the road behind.

At high sun’s peak, near a small creek,
I heard a thunderous roar.
From sky o’erhead came winged dread,
Born of legend and lore.

Dried needles swirled as wings unfurled
And dragon crashed to ground.
Catching my breath, I faced green death
While heart within did pound.

“A bard, I guess, by your fine dress,
Is what you seem to be,”
Said wyrm to I, the drawing nigh,
Proffered a deal to me.

“My riddles three, if answer thee,
A treasure I shall give.
If incorrect, I’ll not respect
Your dismal right to live.

My wavering voice spoke, “I’ve no choice,
Proceed, I’ll do my best.”
The dragon thought and said, “We ought
To simply start the test.”

“Ages backward and, though not poured,
I always issue forth.”
The dragon sneered, “They’ll just appear
More arduous henceforth.”

I paused for show, but I did know
The answer to this rhyme/
I raised my head and humbly said,
“Emit, reverse of time.”

“Well done,” he praised. “You look unfazed.
Now for one harder still.
Recall our pact, answer exact
Or blood I’ll surely spill.”

“I’ve deserts and yet have no sand,
I’ve treeless forest dales.
I’ve waters none, yet rivers run
Down rockless mountain vales.”

“A map,” I cried. The wyrm replied,
“It’s long since I’ve been awed.
Your riddling knack sets me aback.
It seems you’re not a fraud.”

Then dragon rose as he composed
A final, daunting rhyme.
“The last of three, you’re free of me,
If correct one more time.”

“No blood it spills, no one it kills,
Yet beheads by the score.
It cannot drown and, if cut down,
You’ll soon end up with more.”

I gazed and saw a gaping maw.
The dragon thought me done.
Then my eyes scanned an upheld hand
And I knew I had won.

Lifting my head, “a nail,” I said,
“On toes and fingers found.”
Seeming amazed, the dragon raised
His tail and beat the ground.

Respectfully, the wyrm gave me
A nod and reverent glare.
Then opening enormous wings,
Ascended to the air.

Before away he flew that day,
He gave to me a sword –
Enchanted steel with elven seal –
A blade fit for a lord.

But now it’s gone, I can’t grieve on –
That’s how it is with bards.
Though blade was blessed, I must confess,
I lost it playing cards.
Final PC: Regor the Valorious, the ONLY theatrically-inclined half-orc androgyne wandering ALFA, Artistic Director for Cormanthor Stage Productions, one-time stand up pirate and self-educated barrister of the bar.

Former PC: Begor Nightstrummer, Executive Stage Writer and Assistant Director of Planned Gifts for the Roving Entertainment Group of Ruith

Current PC: Sheshe Little Eels
Ladellon
Dire Badger
Posts: 155
Joined: Tue Jan 13, 2004 1:24 am
Location: just north of Leadfeather

Re: Roving Entertainment Group of Ruith

Post by Ladellon »

Sang quietly at the Lady's College after learning of a poor mage's condition of having become a floating skull.


The City of Splendors entices the few
With powers sufficient to wholly subdue
Malicious and forbidding creatures below –
So deep in the Underdark tunnels men go.

For those who are brave and delve down in the depths
Great fortune awaits, just avoid the missteps.
And watch your back closely, friends aren’t what they seem.
When gold is the lure, they will conspire and scheme.

Beware Ennoric, beware
The spirited skull of Bradoric is here.
He has stories to tell, just lend him your ear.
Beware, Ennoric, beware.

One common tale tells of two men and an elf,
Who pointedly claimed all the loot for himself
And, with dark intentions, left both without breath.
One somehow survived, facing life worse than death.

All traitorous cowards deserve what they’re owed,
By reaping the fruits of betrayal they’ve sowed.
Their minds are consumed with an unending dread
of being pursued by the vengeful undead.

Beware Ennoric, beware
The spirited skull of Bradoric is there.
He hunts for your skin and he hunts for your hair.
Beware, Ennoric, beware.
Final PC: Regor the Valorious, the ONLY theatrically-inclined half-orc androgyne wandering ALFA, Artistic Director for Cormanthor Stage Productions, one-time stand up pirate and self-educated barrister of the bar.

Former PC: Begor Nightstrummer, Executive Stage Writer and Assistant Director of Planned Gifts for the Roving Entertainment Group of Ruith

Current PC: Sheshe Little Eels
Ladellon
Dire Badger
Posts: 155
Joined: Tue Jan 13, 2004 1:24 am
Location: just north of Leadfeather

Re: Roving Entertainment Group of Ruith

Post by Ladellon »

You'll Make a Good Mage

You’ve got a talent, a look in your eyes
Born to research, catalogue, analyze
Just like your father. Is that a surprise?
From my perspective, if I’m any gauge,
You’ll make a good mage.

Beakers and bowls filled with sulfur and dung,
Powdered bull’s horn, colored sands, adder’s tongue.
Your dedication will oft go unsung,
But noble is the assistant backstage.
You’ll make a good mage.

Those lads in the courtyard (what a disgrace)
Practicing combat with halberd and mace,
Seem so unfocused, but you know your place.
They are but toddlers. You’re acting your age.
You’ll make a good mage.

Rigorous studies are called for each day
One’s thirst for knowledge is what you allay
Magic’s exacting, there’s no other way.
Progress is coming, you’re turning the page.
You’ll make a good mage.

I’m so convinced that I’d bet a week’s wage,
You’ll make a good mage.
Final PC: Regor the Valorious, the ONLY theatrically-inclined half-orc androgyne wandering ALFA, Artistic Director for Cormanthor Stage Productions, one-time stand up pirate and self-educated barrister of the bar.

Former PC: Begor Nightstrummer, Executive Stage Writer and Assistant Director of Planned Gifts for the Roving Entertainment Group of Ruith

Current PC: Sheshe Little Eels
Ladellon
Dire Badger
Posts: 155
Joined: Tue Jan 13, 2004 1:24 am
Location: just north of Leadfeather

Re: Roving Entertainment Group of Ruith

Post by Ladellon »

Bards Are the Best Thing Around

They’re cunning and daring
And I don’t mind sharing
They live without caring
There’s just no comparing.
Bards are the best thing around.

A bard, let me tell you, folks, is all the rage
They live rather well on a minimal wage
Reaching their thirties is like reaching old age
For its fate that they’ll inevitably, unavoidably, and tragically
Die right there on the stage.

They cut with their rapier and with their wit,
Pitch woo to both lasses and lads, I’ll admit,
The scurrilous scoundrels should rot in a pit,
But all is excused when they inevitably, unavoidably, and magically
Enchant the crowd with a skit.

Bards can be knights with a helm that is crested
Or a foul beast with its rage manifested
The show must go on even when they’re congested.
None should be shocked when they inevitably, unavoidably, and pretendedly
Play any part that’s requested.

They cherish their looks and care for it daily
Which helps to avoid getting skin that is scaly
They play on their lute or sometimes ukulele
And all are amazed when they inevitably, unavoidably, and splendidly
Don their apparel quite gayly.

They’re good at competing,
Though often are cheating.
Your memory is fleeting
So it bears repeating.
Bards are the best thing around.

Oh, we are the best thing around!
Final PC: Regor the Valorious, the ONLY theatrically-inclined half-orc androgyne wandering ALFA, Artistic Director for Cormanthor Stage Productions, one-time stand up pirate and self-educated barrister of the bar.

Former PC: Begor Nightstrummer, Executive Stage Writer and Assistant Director of Planned Gifts for the Roving Entertainment Group of Ruith

Current PC: Sheshe Little Eels
Ladellon
Dire Badger
Posts: 155
Joined: Tue Jan 13, 2004 1:24 am
Location: just north of Leadfeather

Re: Roving Entertainment Group of Ruith

Post by Ladellon »

You'll Make a Good Bard

I should have been able to recognize
Long ago aptitude to harmonize
Just like your father. Well, that’s no surprise.
With good looks and flair, it won’t be too hard.
You’ll make a good bard.

Women will swoon, men will raise up their ales
As you recount gallant, knight-riddled tales
Use your panache, never mind the details.
Soon there will be a play in which you’ve starred.
You’ll make a good bard.

It’s time to go forth and land an audition
Not as a mage but an arcane musician.
I only ask this - heed my petition -
That, now and then, you send me a postcard,
You’ll make a good bard.

Go! Challenge conventions. Be avant-guarde.
You’ll make a good bard.
Final PC: Regor the Valorious, the ONLY theatrically-inclined half-orc androgyne wandering ALFA, Artistic Director for Cormanthor Stage Productions, one-time stand up pirate and self-educated barrister of the bar.

Former PC: Begor Nightstrummer, Executive Stage Writer and Assistant Director of Planned Gifts for the Roving Entertainment Group of Ruith

Current PC: Sheshe Little Eels
Ladellon
Dire Badger
Posts: 155
Joined: Tue Jan 13, 2004 1:24 am
Location: just north of Leadfeather

Re: Roving Entertainment Group of Ruith

Post by Ladellon »

We Give Pirates a Good Name

When unknown ships call in your ports
And unload crews of sketchy sorts
You’ll no doubt hide your treasures and your wives.
But scornful hospitality,
Though based in rationality,
Makes pirates question, ‘what have we done with our lives?’

I’ll wager you’ll be wondering
Have we been up to plundering?
Perhaps it’s just a mere misunderstanding.
All rumors shouldn’t be believed
For you’re likely to be deceived.
Instead, just think of it as careful branding.

In brightly colored pantaloons
and pockets full of gold doubloons
our drunken leaves are largely unforgettable.
Each town’s enriched by our largesse.
We risk the stocks but I’ll confess
It’s only when we’re caught that it’s regrettable

We do not steal, we liberate!
No lies, we just prevaricate!
And who else would you trust to roam your seas?
We don’t believe in taxation
It’s all about relaxation.
But if a fleet of warships show – well, no guarantees.

Come journey to exotic ports,
Meet lasses of clandestine sorts –
The benefits cannot be overlooked.
With generous insurance plans
That even cover both your hands.
The first time that you lose one you’ll be hooked.

So, join up if you’re so inclined
And leave this mundane life behind
There’s fame and fortune out there to be seized.
We’re rovers with no piety
Whose goal is notoriety
With any luck your mum won’t be displeased.
Final PC: Regor the Valorious, the ONLY theatrically-inclined half-orc androgyne wandering ALFA, Artistic Director for Cormanthor Stage Productions, one-time stand up pirate and self-educated barrister of the bar.

Former PC: Begor Nightstrummer, Executive Stage Writer and Assistant Director of Planned Gifts for the Roving Entertainment Group of Ruith

Current PC: Sheshe Little Eels
Ladellon
Dire Badger
Posts: 155
Joined: Tue Jan 13, 2004 1:24 am
Location: just north of Leadfeather

Re: Roving Entertainment Group of Ruith

Post by Ladellon »

Sung by Begor Nightstrummer at the Angler's Inn after the rescue of Curia, the resident songstress, and two other unfortunate captives.

A noble feat, the story goes,
Occurred near where the Rauvin flows.
So, sit back and I’ll tell you all
The legend of one Bert the Wall.

“She’s gone, she’s gone,” the cry went out,
“abducted by some knave, no doubt.”
A lass beloved by one and all.
“I’ll rescue her,” vowed Bert the Wall.

He rallied friends both stout and fain
And set off through a drizzling rain.
Though others felt a somber pall,
Unfaltering was Bert the Wall.

Once at the lair, a cutthroat band
Prepared to make a final stand
With arcane might and blade and maul
Against those led by Bert the Wall.

From shadows dark, thieves spewed amok
And stealthily our heroes struck.
The line wore thin, but one stood tall,
Defending others - Bert the Wall.

A summoned boar then joined the clash
And charged toward a valiant Ashe.
With tearing tusks, it caused her fall,
Then turned to confront Bert the Wall.

With heart provoked, he battled on
Through waves of foes ‘til rising dawn.
A final stroke did end the brawl
And all alone stood Bert the Wall.

Since someone heard the cry and dared,
The kidnapped lass, of course, was spared.
And now you’ve heard the story all -
The legend of one Bert the Wall.
Final PC: Regor the Valorious, the ONLY theatrically-inclined half-orc androgyne wandering ALFA, Artistic Director for Cormanthor Stage Productions, one-time stand up pirate and self-educated barrister of the bar.

Former PC: Begor Nightstrummer, Executive Stage Writer and Assistant Director of Planned Gifts for the Roving Entertainment Group of Ruith

Current PC: Sheshe Little Eels
Ladellon
Dire Badger
Posts: 155
Joined: Tue Jan 13, 2004 1:24 am
Location: just north of Leadfeather

Re: Roving Entertainment Group of Ruith

Post by Ladellon »

The Flute of Ash, a lovely tune heard on the mean streets of Baldur's Gate.

It was a night of stillness deep
When old things could be heard to weep
And whispered secrets lingered still
Like clinging dew upon the hill.
When broken, silvered rays were cast
O’er restless dead of ages past
As chilling gusts blew from the north
Those tortured souls to beckon forth.
Despair’s grip growing tight, but hark!
Large and rich in the narrow dark
Music rose. Was music never
Braver in her pure endeavor
Against the meanness of the world
her purple banner she unfurled.
The notes rose where the darkness knelt
Their fiery joy made stillness melt.
Away, away corruption flew
And in its stead leapt life anew.
The notes rose as great birds that rise
Majestically in lofty skies
And bound the forest in a dulcet sash
Of refuge by a piper’s brash
Attempt upon the Flute of Ash.
Final PC: Regor the Valorious, the ONLY theatrically-inclined half-orc androgyne wandering ALFA, Artistic Director for Cormanthor Stage Productions, one-time stand up pirate and self-educated barrister of the bar.

Former PC: Begor Nightstrummer, Executive Stage Writer and Assistant Director of Planned Gifts for the Roving Entertainment Group of Ruith

Current PC: Sheshe Little Eels
Ladellon
Dire Badger
Posts: 155
Joined: Tue Jan 13, 2004 1:24 am
Location: just north of Leadfeather

Re: Roving Entertainment Group of Ruith

Post by Ladellon »

Heard sung as far away as Waterdeep and Baldur's Gate by a flute-bearing lass.

Tales of lost treasures that leave one engrossed
Are told in fest halls all along the Sword Coast
By spell-binding bards with renown as their aim.
But only one legend deserves such acclaim.

Much greater than troves of a pirate they say,
To the north, quite remote, in a land far away,
Each seeker will find what they’ve come to obtain -
Vast, unburied riches all sung in refrain.

The Treasure of the Marches
Is cause for an ovation.
Even though you might be awed,
Pay respects, stand and applaud
The Treasure of the Marches.

It’s said Olothontor would part with his hoard -
The old Minstrel Wyrm far too often ignored -
If he could but have what he cannot procure
Enchanting performances, brilliant and pure.

A moment’s exposure will often beguile
Each seeker of fortune who pines with a smile,
“Wonderous it was, both enchanting, effusive.
It’s just such a shame that it’s so damned elusive.”

The Treasure of the Marches
Is cause for an ovation.
Even though you might be awed,
Pay respects, stand and applaud
The Treasure of the Marches.
Final PC: Regor the Valorious, the ONLY theatrically-inclined half-orc androgyne wandering ALFA, Artistic Director for Cormanthor Stage Productions, one-time stand up pirate and self-educated barrister of the bar.

Former PC: Begor Nightstrummer, Executive Stage Writer and Assistant Director of Planned Gifts for the Roving Entertainment Group of Ruith

Current PC: Sheshe Little Eels
Ladellon
Dire Badger
Posts: 155
Joined: Tue Jan 13, 2004 1:24 am
Location: just north of Leadfeather

Re: Roving Entertainment Group of Ruith

Post by Ladellon »

Sung about the halls of the manor at Olodin's Hold . . . .

A lovely miss, the robust sort,
Came struttin’ past the tavern’s guests
And when she caught some doltish boor
Staring at her breasts,

She sighed and approached him, oh, so wantonly

And . . .

kneed him in the stones!

She kneed him in the stones!
Oh, my word
You should have heard
The curses and the groans.
She used her natural armament
And kneed him in the stones!

A tenday thence, upon the road,
Where trees and men were sparse,
She noticed an ogling traveler
Staring at her arse.

She sighed and approached him, oh, so tauntingly

And . . .

Kneed him in the crotch!

She kneed him in the crotch!
Oh, my queen
You should have seen
The delivery – top notch.
She used what Sune had given her
And kneed him in the crotch!

It wasn’t long - her fame had spread -
The king, though slightly cuckoo,
Summoned her forth, but couldn’t help
Just staring at her hoo hoo.

She sighed again, our lovely miss,
But this time, oh, so flirtatiously,
Approached his royal highness
And . . .

Kneed him in the pickle!

She kneed him in the pickle!
The rudest kiss,
She didn’t miss.
It wasn’t meant to tickle.
To hell with courtly dignity!
She kneed him in the pickle!
Final PC: Regor the Valorious, the ONLY theatrically-inclined half-orc androgyne wandering ALFA, Artistic Director for Cormanthor Stage Productions, one-time stand up pirate and self-educated barrister of the bar.

Former PC: Begor Nightstrummer, Executive Stage Writer and Assistant Director of Planned Gifts for the Roving Entertainment Group of Ruith

Current PC: Sheshe Little Eels
Ladellon
Dire Badger
Posts: 155
Joined: Tue Jan 13, 2004 1:24 am
Location: just north of Leadfeather

Re: Roving Entertainment Group of Ruith

Post by Ladellon »

Composed and sung atop the hill of Rillifane's Ascent . . .

While wandering the woods at night
You know what makes me sad?
The thought that I might get shellacked
Whenever trees go bad.

The sudden stirring of the leaves,
A snapping branch, egad!
A druid’s nightmare come to life
Whenever trees go bad.

The reputation of the spruce
Will suffer just a tad,
As will the poplar and the elm
Whenever trees go bad.

Of late, so many limbs have struck -
It’s not a passing fad -
Reports of incidents increase
Whenever trees go bad.

So, when you travel, do take care -
Be armed and armor-clad.
You might survive the night, you see,
Whenever trees go bad.
Final PC: Regor the Valorious, the ONLY theatrically-inclined half-orc androgyne wandering ALFA, Artistic Director for Cormanthor Stage Productions, one-time stand up pirate and self-educated barrister of the bar.

Former PC: Begor Nightstrummer, Executive Stage Writer and Assistant Director of Planned Gifts for the Roving Entertainment Group of Ruith

Current PC: Sheshe Little Eels
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